One Day Closer To You
by GoofyGal2008
Summary: Sequel to "Lost and Found": After nearly seven months of waiting, Derek and Meredith come together to build a healthy, stable relationship and to take steps toward the future they've both been dreaming of. Mer/Der, but includes all major characters.
1. A Second Chance

**A/N:** Well, here it is, the start of the sequel to "Lost and Found". I hope that everyone who enjoyed that story will get just as much enjoyment out of this one! If you haven't yet read "Lost and Found," I would strongly suggest reading it before reading this story as it will make this one much easier to understand.

Most of what you need to know will be in the chapters themselves, but just to set it up, the epilogue of "Lost and Found" takes place at the end of May. This story picks up at the beginning of August, about seven months after Meredith's accident. Although there will still be plenty of drama in the chapters to come, this story will be, for the most part, much less angst-ridden than "Lost and Found" was.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of its characters, nor am I affiliated with the show in any way, other than the fact that I really love it. This disclaimer will apply to all chapters of this story, mostly because I don't feel like writing it every time I post a new chapter.

* * *

Derek Shepherd was running late. This wasn't exactly an unusual occurrence – his friends and family had long since accepted that Derek was almost always late for everything except surgery. Tonight, though, was not a night to be late. Tonight was a night that had to be perfect.

"Whoa, man, where's the fire?" Mark Sloan laughed as Derek rounded the corner and slammed straight into him.

"What? Sorry, Mark, I'm just running a little late," Derek explained as he bent to help Mark pick up the charts he'd been carrying.

"Hot date, huh?" Mark teased. He knew as well as anyone that Derek hadn't so much as looked at another woman in over seven months, ever since he had finally broken up with Rose and vowed to wait for Meredith.

"Not amusing," Derek grumbled. "I'm having dinner with Meredith."

"She finally came around, did she?" Mark smiled. "I know I don't need to tell you what will happen if you hurt her again, right?"

"I've been sufficiently warned, thank you very much," Derek laughed. "And I have absolutely no intention of ever hurting Meredith Grey again."

"Good," Mark said. "So, what are you standing around here chatting with me for? Get going, or you're going to be late picking the little lady up!"

Derek laughed as he handed Mark the last of the charts before turning around and practically sprinting out of the hospital and into his car.

As he drove to Meredith's, he couldn't help but wonder how things would go when he finally saw her. Would there be awkwardness between them? Would they slip right back to where they'd been before everything that had happened? He'd seen her only once in the past seven months, and even then only for a few hours at the second wedding of George O'Malley and Callie Torres-O'Malley. He needed everything about tonight to be perfect, because he wasn't sure he'd survive another seven months of not seeing her.

* * *

Derek stood in front of Meredith's house, nervously staring at the doorknob, just waiting for someone to respond to his knock. He knew the door was probably unlocked and even if it was locked, he knew exactly where Meredith kept the spare key. A year ago, he would have walked right in and gone straight up the stairs to Meredith's room. He knew, though, that although the house looked as if it hadn't changed at all, everything else had changed dramatically since he was last on this porch.

"Dr. Shepherd," Izzie Stevens smiled at him as she opened the door. "Come on in, Meredith's almost ready, so I'll let her know you're here. You can wait in the living room, I think you remember the way. Just make yourself comfortable, I'm sure it'll only be a minute."

And with that, Izzie sprinted back up the stairs, presumably to find Meredith. Derek stepped into the living room and looked around only to realize that he had been completely wrong in his earlier assumption. Although from the outside it looked as though the house were exactly the same as a year earlier, it took only one look into the living room to know that inside, the house was very different.

For one thing, Derek could have sworn that the living room was bigger the last time he was there. He quickly shook that feeling off, attributing it to the fact that it had been so long since he had been there. The décor, however, was something that he couldn't just shake off. Meredith had always avoiding putting any sort of personal touches on the house. She had refused to allow Izzie to paint the walls, move the furniture or even put up artwork and pictures. Because of it, the house had never managed to look like it was anyone's home. Now, however, Derek looked around in amazement at the dozens of pictures that adorned the freshly painted walls and sat in frames on the tables.

Derek smiled as his eyes passed over images of Meredith and her friends at various events. There was a candid of Izzie and Alex engaged in what appeared to be an intense flour fight in Meredith's kitchen. One of George and Callie standing in front of what Derek assumed was the house he had heard they recently purchased. A small one of Ellis standing in front of Massachusetts General. A much larger one of Meredith, Cristina, Alex, Izzie and George standing with Dr. Bailey in front of Seattle Grace during what appeared to be their intern year. There was one of Meredith, Molly and Lexie at what could only have been Laura's birthday party, the three of them huddled around a smiling little girl with her face covered in cake.

Derek paused in front of a side table and picked up the framed picture resting upon it, surprised to find it so prominently displayed in Meredith's house. Smiling back at him from inside the frame was Susan Grey, her arms around two smiling teenage girls.

"That's one of my favorites," a female voice said from behind him.

Derek jumped slightly at the unexpected intrusion, turning around to find Lexie Grey standing just behind him. She reached out and took the picture from his hands, running her fingers over the glass.

"That was Molly's rebellious phase, in case the green hair didn't give it away," Lexie laughed. "I always love this picture because we look so happy. It was right before my high school graduation."

"Graduation?" Derek asked, taking a second look at the photo. "It's just…you look way too young in that picture."

Lexie smiled again. "You should have heard the fights Mom and Dad had about it. I was 16, and Dad thought I was far too young to be going off to college on my own."

"You graduated from high school when you were 16?" Derek asked in surprise.

"I have a photographic memory," Lexie shrugged as she set the picture back down on the table.

"So, how'd this picture end up in Meredith's living room?" Derek asked.

"I live here too, you know," Lexie said, noting the look of surprise on Derek's face. "Okay, maybe you didn't know. After George moved back in with Callie, I couldn't afford the rent on our place by myself, so Meredith offered to let me stay here."

"Did Alex move out?" Derek asked, wondering just where Lexie was sleeping.

"No, he's still here," Lexie said. "Meredith had the wall that backs up to the study moved a few feet into this room to make the study big enough for a bed, so that's my room now. Anyway, Meredith found the picture when she was helping me unpack and asked if she could put it in the living room."

_I knew this room looked smaller_, Derek thought to himself. _Good to know I'm not going crazy._

"Oh, and I think you're pretty lucky that Alex is on call tonight," Lexie continued. "When he found out you were taking Meredith out, he kept mumbling something about needing to have a few words with you first."

"Oh, he did," Derek said, cringing as he remembered the awkward elevator conversation he'd had with Dr. Karev that afternoon.

"Did you now?" Lexie asked innocently. "And what did he have to say?"

"Oh, you know, the usual," Derek said. "Something along the lines of if I hurt Meredith again he'll kill me, then bring me back to let Dr. Yang have at me."

"Well, as long as the message is clear," Lexie said sweetly. "I think I'll go see what's taking Meredith so long."

Derek shook his head as he watched Lexie dash up the stairs. Although Meredith's friends, and now, he supposed, her family, got on his nerves sometimes with their cliquey attitude and overprotective nature, he was still grateful that she had such an amazing support system. As much as he hated to admit it, they'd more than once been there for her at times when he'd made it so that he couldn't be by her side.

As Derek once again looked around at the pictures on the walls, a familiar flash of red hair caught his attention in a frame hanging near the doorway. _No way,_ he though to himself as he moved to get a closer look. _Why would Meredith have a picture of Addison?_

"Derek?" Meredith's voice ripped him from his thoughts as he spun around to find her standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Meredith," he breathed, a smile rushing to his face. "You look…amazing. Absolutely wonderful."

"Thanks," Meredith said, looking nervously down at her shoes. "I guess we should get going, right?"

"Of course," Derek said, moving towards the door to open it for her. "Dr. Stevens, Dr. Grey, have a nice night," he said with a nod towards Izzie and Lexie.

"Now Meredith, don't stay out past curfew," Izzie teased as she hugged Meredith before letting her head out the door.

"Iz, I didn't even have a curfew when I was a teenager," Meredith pointed out as she headed toward the door. "Besides, unlike you two, I don't have to get up and go to work at five in the morning tomorrow."

"Oh, get out of here already," Lexie laughed as she shut the door behind Meredith and Derek.

* * *

"So, are you going to tell me where you're taking me?" Meredith asked as Derek drove away from her house.

"Nope, you're just going to have to be surprised," Derek said, smiling as he looked over at her in the front seat.

For nearly half an hour, Meredith and Derek sat in silence, each just enjoying having the other so close for the first time in what seemed like forever.

"Okay," Meredith said, finally breaking the silence. "You know I hate surprises, right?"

"I do," Derek laughed. "But I'm surprising you anyway."

"So why does it look like we're nearly at your trailer?" Meredith asked. "Because this is definitely the way to the trailer."

"Not anymore," Derek grinned, pulling off the gravel road and up a freshly paved driveway. "Now, this is the way to my house."

Meredith leaned forward in her seat to get a better view of the house at the top of the driveway. "Wow," she whispered. "You really outdid yourself with that one, Derek."

"You really like it?" Derek asked as he brought the car to a stop and cut the engine.

"It looks just like I imagined it," Meredith said, not even bothering to catch herself as she gave away that she had once again been dreaming of a future with the man sitting beside her.

* * *

"Okay," Meredith said half an hour later, as Derek finished showing her around the house. "When I said this was just like I imagined it, I lied. When I imagined it, it had a bit more furniture."

"Very funny," Derek laughed as he led her into the kitchen. "There's furniture where I need furniture right now – the dining room, the kitchen, the living room, the master bedroom…the rest will come later."

"And what if your sisters show up on your doorstep tomorrow? Where will you put them without furniture in the guest rooms?" Meredith asked.

"Oh, trust me," Derek said. "My sisters aren't going to show up any time soon."

Meredith raised a skeptical eyebrow, letting Derek know she sincerely doubted his assessment of his family.

"Trust me on this one. Kathleen's eight months pregnant, Beth's seven and a half months pregnant with twins, Abby's six months pregnant…they clearly aren't traveling anywhere anytime soon," Derek told her. "And Mom and Nancy sure as hell aren't going anywhere with the rest of them so close to delivering."

"What did they do, all sit around together and decide to get pregnant?" Meredith asked.

"Believe it or not, they didn't plan it this way," Derek laughed. "It just sort of happens with my sisters. Six years ago, the three of them all delivered in the same week."

"So I guess you won't be needing that furniture for a while, then," Meredith said.

"Doesn't look like it," Derek agreed as he set out the plates for their dinner.

* * *

"Do you think she's alright with him?" Lexie asked as she sat down on the couch in the new TV room in Meredith's basement. Izzie laughed as she passed the popcorn to Lexie.

"Of course she's alright," she said. "He's her McDreamy, Lexie. They're in love."

"But he hurt her so much," Lexie said. "And I know she's making progress with therapy and all, but what if he does it again?"

"Seriously?" Izzie laughed. "With all of us standing in the wings to attack him? I'm pretty sure he's learned his lesson. He values his nose too much to risk you breaking it again."

"Not that I wouldn't mind watching that again," Cristina shouted from the top of the stairs. "Barbie, where the hell did you stash the tequila?"

"It's in the pantry, behind the flour and sugar canisters," Izzie shouted back.

"That's a really weird place to keep your liquor," Cristina said as she walked down the stairs with the bottle of tequila in one hand and three shot glasses in the other.

"We don't keep all the liquor there," Lexie said. "Just the tequila."

"Hiding it from Meredith?" Cristina asked. "That's a little juvenile, even for you, Barbie."

"She asked us to," Izzie protested. "Said tequila brought up more bad memories than it helped her forget these days."

"So you hide it behind your baking supplies?" Cristina asked.

"Meredith can't cook, and she's pretty much given up trying," Izzie shrugged. "She never even looks at that shelf, so it seemed like a good hiding place."

"Oh my God," Lexie's gasp interrupts the conversation. "Did Ellis seriously just peel that guy's face off?"

"Have you never seen this one?" Cristina asks as she gestures towards the television. "Sit back, Little Grey, you're in for a wild ride. This one's my personal favorite."

* * *

"Okay, seriously, Derek," Meredith said as she put down her fork after taking the last bite of her dessert. "How in the world did you find time to make dinner and dessert when you were working the whole day?"

"And just how do you know I was working today?" Derek teased. "Are you stalking me, Dr. Grey?"

"You wish," Meredith scoffed. "No, I just spent the early part of my evening listening to Izzie go on and on about the eight hour surgery she did with you today. And then I had to listen to Lexie go on and on about how she didn't get scrub in on that same surgery. I may not be at the hospital these days, but I definitely still hear all about it. My house is residents' central or something like that."

"Yes, well, Izzie needs the neuro experience," Derek shrugged. "She's only got two more months to meet those distribution requirements before third years declare specialties."

"67 days," Meredith said.

"Excuse me?" Derek asked in confusion.

"You said it was two months until third years declare," Meredith said. "I'm just being a bit more specific. It's 67 days."

"How do you know that?" Derek asked.

"Cristina Yang is my person, remember? She's called me every morning since they first announced the date, just to let me know that she is one day closer to officially being on her way to becoming a cardio legend," Meredith said. "It's pretty amusing, actually."

"Yeah, Yang's another one who hasn't met her distribution hours," Derek said. "The chief gave us all a list a few weeks ago. Surprisingly, Karev is the only third year who's actually met his requirements. So, until everyone's met their requirements, it's third years galore in the ORs."

"Well, I'm sure they'll all appreciate the experience," Meredith said.

"Nah," Derek said. "If it's anything like when I was a third year, most of them have already picked a specialty and really don't like having to do hours in anything else."

"Probably true," Meredith agreed. "I just wish they'd tell me what they'd picked, because it sure would make my betting a lot more profitable."

"You're betting on your friends' specialties?" Derek asked.

"Are you kidding me?" Meredith laughed. "Derek, it's a hospital betting pool that has absolutely nothing to do with me. You better believe I'm betting."

"And just what have you put your money on?" Derek asked. "Obviously, Cristina's going cardio, but what about Alex and Izzie?"

Meredith smiled. "This is where I stand to either make or lose a lot of cash. For Izzie, I did a split and put half on pediatric surgery and half on plastics."

"Okay, peds I can see," Derek said. "But plastics? Meredith, are you crazy?"

"Nope," Meredith shrugged. "Izzie is constantly putting herself through an emotional roller coaster by getting too attached to her patients. Sure, she'd be great in peds, but if she can't learn to rein in her emotions, she'll be burnt out in five years, max. In plastics, she'd still feel like she was making a difference, but she wouldn't get as attached to as many of her patients as she would in any other specialty."

"I guess that makes sense," Derek agreed. "Although I'm not sure Izzie will think it through that much."

"She lives with me," Meredith said. "She doesn't have to think it through, I've already explained it to her. The joys of living with me include hearing my opinion whether you want to or not."

"I'll keep that in mind," Derek laughed. "Karev's definitely plastics, though, right?"

"Not necessarily," Meredith said. "Sure, most of the money has him in plastics, but personally, I think he gave that dream up a long time ago. I put my money on neonatal."

"Are you kidding me?" Derek asked, again in shock. "Neonatal?"

"Just wait and see," Meredith grinned. "I could be wrong, but I don't think so on this one."

* * *

"I had a really great time tonight," Derek said as he pulled up in front of Meredith's house later that night.

"Me too," Meredith said as he helped her out of the car and walked her to her front door.

"So maybe we could do this again sometime soon?" he asked nervously. "Say, next Friday?"

"Derek, I can't…" Meredith began, but was interrupted by Derek.

"Oh, I see," he said dejectedly. "Well, no actually, I don't see. I guess I'm just getting mixed signals here, because you called me and asked me to have dinner with you, and you said you had a good time. I took that to mean that you were ready, ready to give us another try. Did I read that wrong? Because I'm very confused here…"

Derek's rant was cut off when Meredith softly pressed her lips against his. As she pulled away, she couldn't help but smile coyly at the look of confusion on his face.

"Are you quite through?" she asked, waiting until Derek nodded to continue. "Good, because you didn't let me finish my sentence. And really, you ought to let me finish my sentences before you attempt to diagnose their meaning, Dr. Shepherd."

"Sorry," he mumbled, still quite confused.

"Now you know," Meredith smiled. "Anyway, what I was saying was that I would love to see you again, and very soon, but I can't have dinner with you next Friday night because I'll be in Los Angeles."

"Oh," Derek said in relief. "That's…that's good to know. What's in Los Angeles? Just a vacation?"

"Actually, I'm going down for Addison's wedding," Meredith said.

"As in my ex-wife Addison?" Derek asked in surprise. "Since when are you friends with Addison?"

Meredith just shrugged. "I know it seems strange, but we just kind of are. I certainly didn't plan to become good friends with your ex-wife, it sort of just happened."

"Well, I hope you have a good time," Derek said. "Maybe we could do something when you get back?"

"I'd like that a lot," Meredith said.

"Good, so, I'll give you a call sometime next week, then," Derek said, turning to head back to the car.

"Um, Derek?" Meredith called out. "I think you forgot something."

"I did?" Derek asked in confusion. "What did I forget?"

"My goodnight kiss," Meredith said, laughing as Derek quickly jogged back to the porch and swept her up in his arms, pressing his lips against hers in a kiss that was, for lack of a better word, simply breathtaking.


	2. Speaking Of Families

**A/N: **Thank you all for the wonderful reviews on the first chapter - I was thrilled to see so many people enjoying this sequel as much as the first one. I'm so happy that I'm able to update this story so quickly - I'm having so much fun writing it!

Starting with this chapter, we're going to start seeing some of Meredith's therapy sessions. I was very hesitant to write these parts, because I really don't know much about psychiatry, but there are certain things that I want to bring up later that only seemed to fit in the context of therapy, so I'm giving it my best effort. The sessions will show up from time to time in the coming chapters, but we won't necessarily see every session, just the really important ones.

* * *

"I went on date with Derek on Friday," Meredith said as she walked into her therapist's office Monday afternoon.

Karen Harper looked up from her notepad and smiled slightly as Meredith took a seat. When Meredith had started coming to see her nearly four months earlier, she'd learned almost immediately not to expect 'hellos' or other pleasantries. Meredith seemed to be hell-bent on getting her money's worth out of every hour she spent in that office, and the pleasantries just distracted from that. Karen might have been annoyed if it were any other patient, but Meredith Grey was one of the more interesting cases she worked on in recent years, so she tolerated, and even grew to enjoy, Meredith's sometimes quirky behavior.

"Well, how did that go?" Karen asked, setting her pen down.

"I think it went well," Meredith said. "He took me out to see his new house."

"The one he showed you the plans for last year?"

"That's the one," Meredith confirmed. "He went ahead and had it built. It's a pretty impressive house, actually."

"Why do you think he showed you the house on the first date?" Karen asked.

"I know what you're getting at," Meredith sighed. "And maybe he was trying just a bit to show me what we can have, to remind me what our future could be. But I think for the most part, he's just really proud of the house. He wants to show it off, but Mark can only pretend to be interested in it for so long. He doesn't have a lot of other friends in the area, you know."

"So do you think he thinks of you as a friend?"

"No," Meredith rolled her eyes. "I'm not stupid, Karen. I know he still thinks of me as more than a friend. I think of him the same way. It's just going to take us a while to get back to the point where we actually are more than friends and where we can stay more than friends without self-destructing. We just need more of a base than last time."

"And you think you'll get there this time?" Karen asked.

"I really do," Meredith smiled. "He's waited this long for me, I think he's ready to make things work. And I know I'm ready."

"It sounds like things are going well, then," Karen said.

"I guess," Meredith agreed. "We're going to take things slowly for a while, but I'm actually optimistic. I mean, yeah, our conversation was pretty superficial, mostly just about the house and his family and people we know at the hospital, but it was sort of like a first date. There's time for more meaningful conversations later."

"That's an excellent realization, Meredith," Karen said. "Now, I want to switch gears for a moment and ask you if you've given any more thought to my suggestion from last week."

"I thought about it. I just don't see the point of it," Meredith said. "I mean, I get along fine with my sisters now. Why drag them into therapy with me?"

"I think it could be helpful," Karen said. "I don't think you've really dealt with whatever underlying issues were preventing you from forming a meaningful relationship with them when you first met them."

"You mean something other than the fact they're the family my father chose over me?" Meredith asked.

"Well, I think it would be helpful to get to the root of why you feel that way," Karen said. "Because rationally speaking, he didn't choose them over you. When your parents divorced, your sisters didn't even exist yet."

"I don't want to talk about this," Meredith snapped. "This is absolutely ridiculous. Let's talk about more of my mommy issues. Or even the daddy issues. I do not have sister issues anymore."

"You're awfully defensive about that," Karen observed. "Why don't you just bring them in for a session, then? If there are no issues, what's the harm?"

"I just don't want to do it," Meredith said. "Can we just drop it and move on to something else?"

"For now, yes," Karen said. "But this will come up again, Meredith, so please think about this, alright?"

"Fine," Meredith grumbled.

"Good," Karen said, flipping through her notepad to look at Meredith's last few sessions. "So, are there any particular issues you would like to talk about, other than your sisters?"

"I guess there are always the mommy issues," Meredith shrugged.

"Alright, let's start there today, then," Karen said. "Now, the last time we talked about your mother, you mentioned that she pushed you to go to medical school."

"That's not what I said," Meredith said. "I said she didn't want me to go to Europe instead of medical school. If she'd had her choice, I never would have even applied to med school."

"What did she want you to do?" Karen asked.

"I have no idea," Meredith said. "I mean, she never said anything when I did all the premed coursework in college…but then again, I'm not sure she even paid enough attention to know what classes I was taking, and we weren't exactly talking much then, except when I needed money."

"But you didn't go straight from college to medical school, did you?"

"No, I didn't," Meredith agreed. "My senior year of college, I told my mother that I wanted to go to medical school, and that I was thinking of being a surgeon. She told me it was pointless, that I'd never live up to expectations and that I shouldn't even bother trying, because I just wasn't good enough to be a great surgeon, and that if I tried and ended up just being mediocre, it would be an embarrassment to her reputation."

"So you listened to her," Karen commented.

"For a while, I did," Meredith said. "I got an apartment in Boston and did a bunch of freelance writing for about four years. I loved the writing, but it wasn't steady work, so I finally got fed up with it, and basically just said screw it, I'm applying to med school. And lo and behold, I got in at a couple of really great schools."

"And how did your mother react?"

"She wasn't happy when I first told her," Meredith said. "She kept going on and on about how I was setting myself up for failure. So when one of the companies that I'd been freelancing for offered me the opportunity to travel around Europe for seven months on their dime and write articles for some new travel guides they were putting out, well, I jumped at the opportunity and I thought she'd be relieved that I wasn't going after all."

"But she wasn't relieved," Karen observed.

"No, she wasn't," Meredith said. "She told me it was completely unacceptable, me getting accepted to medical school and then not going. She said that obviously the only reason I had gotten in anywhere was because of her name, so she claimed it was her reputation on the line if I backed out and didn't go."

"So she made the argument about her," Karen said.

"I think you've heard enough about my mother to know that in Ellis' mind, everything was about her," Meredith said. "It's funny, in high school, and even in college, I was a troublemaker. I was constantly getting suspended in high school. With my record, I'm surprised I got into college at all, really, even with my grades. But in all those years, I never actually disobeyed my mother until that year."

"Never?" Karen asked skeptically.

"Hard to believe, right?" Meredith said, uttering a quick, wry laugh. "The girl who had pink hair, dressed all in black, smoked cigarettes, ditched class, drank tequila like it was water and slept with anyone who asked, never actually disobeyed her mother. I knew Ellis wouldn't have approved of what I was doing…maybe she'd even have been angry if she'd ever found out the full extent of it all. But she was never around enough to find out, so she never actually told me not to do those things."

"But she did tell not to apply to medical school," Karen pointed out.

"And I listened to her for four years," Meredith said. "I was 26 before I finally had had enough. I was 26 before I actually disobeyed my mother by applying to medical school."

"And then you did it again," Karen observed.

"I did, didn't I?" Meredith smiled. "I thought I was finally getting out of Ellis' grips. I deferred my acceptance at Dartmouth and flew off to Europe, ready for this grand adventure. I only stayed for two months, though."

"Because of your mother," Karen surmised.

"She called me and told me she had Alzheimer's," Meredith said. "I thought it was some sort of cruel joke on her part. I actually hung up on her three times before she finally had her neurologist call me up and tell me the news."

"Did she ask you to come home?" Karen asked.

"I wish," Meredith sighed. "Then at least I might have had the opportunity to say no. Instead, she ordered me to come home so that we could discuss her future. She said she wouldn't do it over the phone. So I came home. She resigned from the hospital she was working at and checked herself into a nursing home here in Seattle. She told everyone she was traveling, and she actually managed to get quite a bit of work done on several books those first few years, before she really started slipping away. She basically told me that I was either to move to Seattle immediately in case she needed me, or I was to go to medical school."

"So you chose medical school," Karen said.

"Obviously," Meredith said. "I couldn't go right away, because I'd already deferred, so I stayed in Boston for a year and then went to Dartmouth."

"So why did you move to Seattle?" Karen asked. "Your mother survived almost five years in the nursing home without you. Why come back at all?"

"She was getting worse," Meredith said. "And yeah, I could have handled it long distance, but I wanted to be there for her, even though she'd never really been there for me. I resented it, though. I mean, I really resented being here…I wanted to be anywhere but here."

Karen nodded. "So why are you still here? When your mother passed, what kept you in Seattle? From you've told me, you certainly weren't happy here at that point."

"I guess I'd made connections here," Meredith said. "And even if they weren't always happy ones, I couldn't just walk away from that."

"Pretty flimsy reason, don't you think?"

"And I'm sure you have some deep, subconscious reason for me staying here?"

"I do," Karen nodded.

"Well, please, I'm waiting with baited breath," Meredith said sarcastically. "Do enlighten me."

"You know, excessive sarcasm is just another defense mechanism designed to keep people from seeing deep-rooted emotional pain," Karen pointed out.

"Are you going to tell me this secret subconscious reason I stayed in Seattle or should I just go?" Meredith asked.

"When you were 30 years old and graduating from medical school, when was the last time you could remember being truly happy?" Karen asked.

Meredith sat in silence for a moment before dropping her head in realization. "My fifth birthday party," Meredith sighed. "In Seattle."

"So you weren't ever really happy after you left Seattle," Karen said. "And then when you came back to Seattle, you met Derek."

"And I was happy again," Meredith interjected. "For a while, anyway."

"You were away from Seattle for 25 years, and you weren't ever truly happy," Karen pointed out. "Then, you're back in Seattle just a few weeks, and you meet someone who makes you feel truly happy for the first time since you were five years old."

"So you're saying that I stayed because I can't be happy anywhere but Seattle," Meredith said. "That's sort of depressing."

"No, that's not what I'm saying," Karen objected. "I'm saying that you're afraid that you can't be happy anywhere else. Not that you actually can't, just that in your head, you're afraid that you can't be."

A short beep from the timer next to Karen's door interrupts Meredith's thoughts on Karen's observation.

"Well, I suppose that's as good a place as any to pause until next time," Karen said. "I'll see you same time on Wednesday."

"See you then," Meredith said, gathering up her things and heading for the door.

"Oh, and Meredith?" Karen called after her. "Please don't forget to think about why it is you're so resistant to bringing your sisters in for a session, okay?"

* * *

Meredith sighed heavily as she slid into the front seat of Molly's car after leaving her therapy session. Sometimes therapy rejuvenated her, but other times, like today, it just left her emotionally exhausted and completely frustrated. In the beginning, the only reason she kept going was because Molly drove her there twice a week and she was too stubborn to tell her sister that she wanted to quit. Now she kept going back because she knew it was actually doing some good, but that didn't mean on days like today she was any happier about it.

"One to ten?" Molly asked as she pulled away from the curb.

"Nine," Meredith sighed as she looked out the window.

Molly nodded. "Ice cream it is, then," she said. This was their routine every Monday and Wednesday afternoon when Molly picked Meredith up from therapy. Molly would ask Meredith to rank how distressed she felt after the session, and depending upon Meredith's answer, they would either go straight back to Molly's house to play with Laura, or they would make a detour for a small – or, on a day like today, a very large – ice cream sundae at a shop down the street.

"You want to talk about it?" Molly asked as she set the sundaes down on the table, knowing that Meredith would say no.

"Not really," Meredith said. "How much time do we have before your appointment?"

"About an hour," Molly said. "I don't know why I'm so nervous. It's not like I haven't ever done this before."

"Sometimes a bit of nervousness can be good," Meredith commented.

"I suppose so," Molly agreed.

"I don't think I ever asked, but how far along do you think you are?" Meredith asked.

"Um, okay, don't laugh, but I don't exactly know," Molly said sheepishly. "I've always been pretty irregular, but based on when Eric was home on leave, I could be anywhere from six to ten weeks."

"You're kidding, right?" Meredith asked. "You didn't notice anything?"

"I don't know," Molly said. "I always get kind of sick when Eric deploys, so it isn't like I didn't have anything to attribute it to. And Laura keeps me so busy, I just didn't think about it. I've always been so bad at keeping track of my periods."

"Well, I guess we'll find out for sure this afternoon, right?" Meredith said. "I can't believe I'm going to be an aunt again. And this time, let's not do that whole dramatic emergency delivery thing, okay?"

"You don't think that could happen again, do you?" Molly asked anxiously. "I mean, the whole thing? Everything that was wrong with Laura?"

Meredith smiled reassuringly at Molly. "Look, I won't lie to you, there are always risks," she said. "But what Laura had was a very rare abnormality that was not in any way genetic. Your OB/GYN will probably monitor more closely for things like that just because of what happened with Laura, but honestly, the odds of it happening twice are so astronomical, you're more likely to hit it big in the lottery."

"Hey, I sure could use that money," Molly said, causing both sisters to burst out laughing.

* * *

"Seriously Barbie, you live with her and she didn't tell you anything about her date?" Cristina asked as she cornered Izzie in the cafeteria.

"I already told you, she wouldn't tell me anything except that she didn't sleep with him," Izzie said, ducking out of Cristina's grasp and sitting down at a table. "And no, I didn't ask her that, Alex did."

"What about you, Little Grey?" Cristina asked. "Got any dirt on Meredith's date with McDreamy?"

"So now he's McDreamy again, is he?" Alex asked, laughing as he joined them at the table.

"Not now, Evil Spawn," Cristina said. "So, let's hear it, Little Grey."

"She didn't tell me anything," Lexie said, taking a bite of her salad. "All she said was that they had a lovely time and would probably do it again soon."

"Why are you so curious anyway, Yang?" Alex asked. "Living vicariously through Grey again? You really need to just go get yourself laid already. I could help you with that if you wanted."

"Alex!" Izzie admonished, throwing a tater tot at him from across the table. "You're a pig, you know that?"

Alex shrugged. "You love me anyway and you know it, Iz," he smirked.

"Do not!" Izzie protested, throwing another tater tot, which Alex proceeded to pick up and toss right back at her.

"Do too," he laughed.

"Okay, seriously," Cristina groaned. "You two need to grow up and stop acting like ten year olds with a crush!"

* * *

"Eight weeks," Molly sighed as she and Meredith walked back into Molly's house that evening. "I can't believe I'm eight weeks pregnant."

"I still can't believe you didn't notice," Meredith laughed. "When are you going to tell Eric?"

"He's supposed to get some time on the webcam tomorrow, so I guess I'll do it then, when I can see his reaction," Molly said. "He's doing things in reverse this time. Last time, he was home when I found out I was pregnant, and gone when I delivered. This time, he's gone when I found out, but unless the army extends his deployment, he should be home by the time the baby is born."

"I'm sure he'll be glad to see that," Meredith said.

"Yeah," Molly said as she sifted through the cupboards in her kitchen. "You want pizza or Thai tonight?"

"Pizza," Meredith said. "But I do love the fact that every time I'm here, you dutifully sort through your cabinets, as if you're actually going to cook something."

"I think we've firmly established that neither of us should be allowed near a stove," Molly laughed. "Remember when we tried to make lasagna?"

Meredith grimaced at the memory. "I think your ceiling remembers, too," she said, pointing up at the smoke stains on the ceiling of Molly's kitchen.

"Do you think we should paint over those before Eric comes home again?" Molly asked.

"He probably wouldn't be too happy to find out we've been in his kitchen," Meredith agreed. "Seriously, though, how does he think you feed yourself while he's gone?"

"Um, I'm pretty sure he thinks I live off a steady diet of pizza, Thai food and cold cereal," Molly said. "Which, in all honesty, isn't too far from the truth."

Meredith laughed, causing Molly to grab a pillow off the couch and toss it at Meredith's head.

"You're one to talk, Mer, I've seen how you eat," Molly laughed. "You're not any better than I am, you know."

"Am too," Meredith protested. "I at least throw cheese sandwiches into the mix."


	3. Secrets and Surprises

**A/N:** Are email alerts not working for everyone else? They aren't working for me, and I'm getting the feeling that they aren't working for a lot of you as well, seeing I got over 20 reviews in the first day for chapter 1 and only 8 so far for chapter 2, which makes me think that a lot of people didn't get notified that it was up. I hope that everyone is able to find this story even if the emails aren't going out!

When you read this story, there are things that will come up that will probably have a lot of you going 'huh?' I promise, everything still fits with what we know from the show. The big revelation in this chapter will make even more sense when it is put into context in the next chapter.

Also, I want to apologize for not responding personally to those of you who have reviewed recently. I'm not getting emails about the reviews, so I don't have the link to respond to your reviews right now. I've been able to send some of you PMs, but I'm not even sure if those are going through right now. I do want to thank everyone for the great reviews!

* * *

"Rough night?" Meredith asked as she slipped into the OR gallery early Wednesday morning and noticed Lexie slumped down in the back.

"You have no idea," Lexie groaned. "What are you doing here, anyway? It's Wednesday, aren't you supposed to be at Molly's?"

"She dropped me off a few hours ago," Meredith said. "My physical therapist had to shuffle her schedule around, so she was up here today, not at Mercy West, so I had to come here for my session."

"Hey, how'd Molly's appointment go yesterday?" Lexie asked. "How far along is she?"

"Eight weeks," Meredith said. "Can you believe she made it that far and didn't suspect anything until last week?"

"Oh, I believe it," Lexie said. "She was almost ten weeks before she figured it out when she was pregnant with Laura. She just doesn't get morning sickness as badly as most women, and she's not exactly diligent about tracking her cycles."

"She's already looking at paint samples for the nursery," Meredith said. "Apparently I get to help with that project."

"Don't worry, if I know Molly, it'll take her ages to make a decision about anything," Lexie said.

"Good, because I hate painting. Maybe if she puts it off long enough, Eric will be home to do it for her," Meredith said. "Now, why don't you tell me all about this monster patient of yours? Maybe I can help...or at least commiserate with you."

"You know, when she first came in, I actually felt sorry for her," Lexie said. "She's ten years old, broke her arm falling off a swing at the park. Callie had to go in and do some surgical repairs, but it's healing nicely."

"I'm not quite seeing what makes her a nightmare," Meredith said.

"She keeps inventing all these symptoms, insisting she's still sick," Lexie said. "It's almost as if she doesn't want to leave the hospital. I'm so close to calling psych on her."

"Why don't you just tell her parents she's fine and discharge her?" Meredith asked.

"There are no parents," Lexie explained. "She's a foster child. There was a foster family that brought her in, but apparently after this incident, they decided she was too much trouble to keep. They claim she actually jumped off the swing, rather than falling like she claims. Social services says it'll take weeks to place her again, and they won't take her back to the group home if she keeps insisting she's sick. Something about increased liability if she's contagious."

"So she's a nightmare because you're stuck with her," Meredith said.

"It wouldn't be so bad if she were a nice kid," Lexie sighed. "But she's mean. Like, really, really mean."

"Isn't that a bit immature, Lexie?" Meredith laughed.

"Maybe, but you haven't met the kid," Lexie said. "She's insulting, sarcastic, couldn't care less about others' feelings…honestly, she's like a smaller, nastier version of Dr. Yang. And now she's taken to not speaking at all, which I didn't think would be so bad, but it's awful."

"No one can get through to her?" Meredith asked.

"I've had everyone I could think of try it already," Lexie said. "She made Izzie cry, Alex spent the rest of the day looking like someone had run over his puppy and I don't George and Olivia have forgiven me yet for asking them to try."

"Can I talk to her?" Meredith asked.

"After all of that, you want to talk to her?" Lexie asked in shock.

"I'd like to try," Meredith confirmed.

"Won't do much good, but you're welcome to take a crack at her," Lexie shrugged. "Come on, I'll take you to her room."

* * *

"Good morning, Samantha," Lexie said as she walked into the patient's room, earning a sharp glare from the little girl in the bed. "This is Meredith, she's going to talk to you for a while, okay?"

Getting no response from Samantha, Lexie shrugged and turned to the door. "Good luck," she whispered to Meredith as she headed out into the hallway.

"Hi, Samantha," Meredith said, pulling a chair up next to the bed.

"You're the shrink, right?" Samantha asked. "I figured they'd send you eventually."

"No, I'm not a shrink," Meredith laughed. "Good Lord, no. I've got way too many issues of my own to help anyone else with theirs. I'm a surgeon."

"Oh," Samantha said, averting her glance back to the ceiling.

"I do know what you're doing, though, Samantha," Meredith said. "And I know why you're doing it too."

"Well, aren't you special?" Samantha said sarcastically.

Ignoring the remark, Meredith continued. "I know you jumped off that swing because your foster family wasn't paying any attention to you."

"I fell!" Samantha protested.

Meredith just shook her head. "You just wanted someone to notice that you were around, that you were still here. I'm willing to bet they weren't your first foster family, either. I know it's hard never knowing what sort of family you're going to be with from month to month," Meredith observed. "Sometimes the family is nice, sometimes they're mean, and sometimes they just don't care."

"Those are the worst," Samantha whispered.

"Yeah, they are," Meredith agreed. "At least when they're mean, they're still acknowledging that you're there. You still feel like you're worthy of someone's attention. When they don't even bother being mean, it's like they're saying that you don't matter. You do everything you can think of to get their attention. You mess up your room, you break things in their house, maybe you even steal stuff. And when that doesn't work, then you hurt yourself so that they can't ignore you."

"I didn't mean to be a problem," Samantha said. "I didn't think they'd actually bail on me. That was pretty lame of them."

"It certainly was. How long have you been in the system?" Meredith asked.

"Three months," Samantha said. "My mom, she took too many pills and had to go to the hospital, so the doctors called Jenny and she took me away while my mom gets better."

"Is Jenny your case worker?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah," Samantha said. "I don't think she likes me much, though. I don't think the other doctors here like me much either."

"Well, I've heard you haven't exactly been acting like little miss sunshine," Meredith said. "Are you really sick, or are you still trying to get people to pay attention?"

"I don't want to leave," Samantha said. "People come see me here. Sure, they have to because it's their job, but still. It's not as lonely here as it is at the group home. Am I in trouble?"

"Of course not," Meredith said. "But you can't lie to the doctors, you know. What happens if you really get sick?"

"It's not like anyone would care," Samantha said. "I don't think my mom's coming back. I'm just a foster kid now. No one cares about me."

"I care about you," Meredith said. "And it's only been three months. How do you know your mom isn't coming back?"

"I don't know," Samantha admitted. "It's just a lot easier not to have hope."

"Sometimes, yeah, it is easier," Meredith agreed. "That doesn't mean it's better, though. There's always something to hope for. You never know what's going to happen."

"I'm not stupid, Meredith," Samantha said. "I know what happens to foster kids. We end up in jail, or on welfare, or out on the streets."

"Is that really all you think your future will hold?" Meredith asked.

"What, like you think it could be any different?" Samantha asked. "Nobody thinks foster kids can amount to anything. We're like the bottom of society's food chain or something."

"So prove everyone wrong," Meredith said. "Drop the sarcasm act, get good grades, be a good kid. Make something of your life. You make your own destiny."

"You get that off a fortune cookie?" Samantha asked, rolling her eyes. "Look, you seem to know a lot about the system, but that doesn't mean you know anything about how my life is. You wouldn't understand what it's like on my side."

Meredith sighed. "I rode a bicycle into a plate glass window," she said, looking at Samantha.

"Excuse me?" Samantha asked in confusion.

"The first time I got stuck with a family that decided it was easier to pretend I didn't exist," Meredith said. "I stole their daughter's bike and rode it around the neighborhood. When they still didn't say anything, I rode it straight into the grocery store's front window. Forty-five stitches later, I was back in the group home."

"How long were you in?" Samantha asked in awe.

"Six months, two weeks and three days," Meredith said. "Seven different families before I got to go back to my mom."

* * *

"Grey, what are you doing?" Callie asked as she walked up behind Lexie, who was standing just outside the doorway of Samantha's room, watching Meredith interact with the little girl.

"Oh, um, Dr. Torres-O'Malley," Lexie stuttered. "I was just…um…checking on Samantha, that's all."

"By hovering outside her door?" Callie asked skeptically, pushing past Lexie to look into the room. The sight that met her eyes completely stopped her in her tracks and she whirled back around to face Lexie.

"Is she _hugging_ Meredith?" Callie asked. "Why is Meredith even in there?"

"Um, well, I told her about Samantha and she asked if she could try talking to her," Lexie said. "I figured it couldn't hurt. I mean, it's not like we're making any progress."

"What did she say to her?" Callie asked.

"I wish I knew," Lexie said. "They were talking too quietly for me to hear."

"Lexie," Meredith's voice interrupted their conversation. Callie and Lexie turned around to find Meredith standing behind them.

"Hey Meredith," Lexie said nervously. "How'd it go in there?"

"She'll be ready to be discharged tomorrow," Meredith said. "She won't tell them that she's sick again."

"How on earth did you get her to agree to that?" Callie asked.

Meredith shrugged. "I gave her hope," she said cryptically. "Look, I've got an errand to run. If you see Izzie, tell her I'll be back in plenty of time for her to drive me to my therapy session this afternoon. You're picking me up afterward, right Callie?"

"Yup," Callie said. "Alex brought your suitcase in this morning, so it's already in the car. I'll just pick you up and we'll leave from the office for L.A."

"Great," Meredith said. "I'll be back in a few hours."

As she turned to leave, Callie stopped her. "Just how do you intend to run this errand of yours? Because I'm sure I don't need to remind you that you aren't cleared to drive yet."

"Trust me, I remember," Meredith grumbled. "Even if I don't understand why. No, I noticed Derek didn't have anything scheduled until later this afternoon, so I thought I'd ask him to drive me and then we could have lunch before we came back in."

* * *

"Hey," Meredith said as she leaned against the door frame in Derek's office.

"Hey yourself," Derek said, smiling as he looked up from his charts. "To what do I owe this surprise?"

"I was just in the neighborhood, and I thought maybe you'd like to do me a favor," Meredith said. "I'll even buy you lunch for your trouble...if you're nice, that is."

"Well, you know I never say no to an offer of food," Derek grinned. "So, what can I do for you?"

* * *

"Are you ever going to tell me what the point of that little errand was?" Derek asked as they climbed back into his car after a quick visit to a nearby mall and lunch in a café a few blocks from the hospital.

"Well, I think it was quite obvious, wasn't it?" Meredith asked.

"Um, well, it was obvious that you needed to buy a suitcase and some children's clothing," Derek said. "What isn't quite obvious is why you needed that stuff."

"It's for Lexie's patient," Meredith said.

"The nightmare foster kid?" Derek asked.

"She's not a nightmare, she's just having a hard time adjusting to the system," Meredith said. "You can't really blame her, she's the victim in all of this, you know."

Derek was about to respond, but was interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone. Glancing down and seeing that it wasn't the hospital, he quickly silenced it and turned his attention back to Meredith.

"You know, that's the fifth call you've ignored in the last hour," Meredith said. "Clearly someone wants to talk to you. Why don't you just answer it?"

"Because I'd rather talk to you," Derek said. "Besides, it's just my sister, I can call her back later."

"Which sister?" Meredith asked as her cell phone started ringing. Glancing down, she giggled as she saw the caller ID. "Never mind," she said as she flipped open the phone.

"Hi," she said, as Derek watched with a confused expression on his face.

"…Oh my God, that's fantastic news," Meredith exclaimed. "Do you have a name yet?"

"…That's beautiful," Meredith said happily, still choosing to ignore Derek's looks of confusion. "And you're both healthy? No complications?"

"…That's good to hear," Meredith said. "Yes, he's right here. Did you want to talk to him?"

"…Okay, hold on just a minute," Meredith said, putting her hand over the mouthpiece and holding the phone out to Derek. "You really shouldn't ignore your phone calls, Derek. Your sister would like to speak with you."

"Kathleen called you?" Derek asked. "How does she even have your phone number?"

"Talk to Kathleen first, she tired and she's waiting to talk to you," Meredith said. "We can talk later."

Derek just shook his head and took the phone from Meredith's hand.

"Kathleen?" he said, wondering if it really was his sister on the other end.

"I hope you had a good reason for ignoring my calls, mister," Kathleen laughed. "For your sake, though, I'm not going to tell Mom that I had to call your girlfriend just to talk to you."

"Sorry," Derek said. "I was having lunch with Meredith. I figured I could call you back later."

"Well, you could, but I can't spend all day waiting for your phone calls," Kathleen said. "I need my rest. I did have a baby this morning, you know."

"You what?!" Derek exclaimed. "Isn't it a little early? Are you and the baby alright?"

"Briana and I are just fine," Kathleen assured him.

"Briana?" Derek repeated questioningly.

"Briana Caroline," Kathleen said. "Five pound, nine ounces, already has a full head of the Shepherd hair."

"That's my girl," Derek laughed. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for this one."

"Hey, you'll see her soon enough," Kathleen said. "You are coming for Thanksgiving, right?"

"We'll have to see," Derek said. "I've still got to see about getting the time off."

"Well, you let me know if you have any problems, and I'll just call that chief of yours and give him a piece of mind," Kathleen said. "Oh, and Mom wanted me to tell you that you should bring Meredith too."

"Um, we'll see how things are going," Derek said. "That's still a few months away, so it's a little soon to tell."

"Fine," Kathleen agreed. "But keep it in mind, because she will not be pleased if you show up alone. I've got to go, though, because the nurses just brought Briana in to feed. I'll send pictures soon, I promise."

"Alright, have fun," Derek said. "And congratulations. Give my new niece a kiss for me, please."

"I will," Kathleen said. "Bye, Derek."

"Bye, Kath," Derek said, hanging up the phone and handing it back to Meredith. "So, are you going to tell me why Kathleen has your number?"

"Last I checked, it wasn't a crime for me to talk to your sister," Meredith said defensively. "Besides, it's not like we talk often. Maybe once a month, give or take a little."

"Since when?" Derek asked. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that you and my sister get along. I want you to be comfortable with all of my family. I'm just a little confused. I know Kathleen saw you when she came to visit me, but I thought that was just a one time thing. Did she call you after she left?"

"Actually," Meredith said. "I called her."

"You did?" Derek asked in surprise. He had definitely not seen that coming.

"She was the only psychiatrist I knew at the time," Meredith explained. "So when I decided to start therapy, I called her to see if she knew anyone good in the area that she might be able to recommend for me."

"Was she able to help?" Derek asked.

"Definitely," Meredith said. "A woman she used to practice with in New York moved to the area about ten years ago. She's actually about half an hour outside of the city, but it's definitely worth the drive. I've been seeing her since April, and I think it's been really good for me.

* * *

"Hi Samantha," Meredith said, smiling as she walked into the little girl's room that afternoon.

"Hi Meredith," Samantha said, looking up while Callie examined her cast. "What did you bring me?"

"Now Samantha, what makes you think Dr. Grey brought you something?" Callie asked.

"She said she was going to bring me a surprise," Samantha said. "She said she just had to go pick it up."

"It's alright, Callie," Meredith said. "I did promise her a surprise, and I did bring one. Do you want it now, Samantha?"

Samantha nodded and smiled eagerly.

"Okay, I hope you like it," Meredith said. "It's just a little something to make those transitions easier for you."

Meredith stepped outside the room for a moment and returned with a medium sized pink suitcase.

"I get to keep that?" Samantha asked in awe. "For real?"

Meredith smiled. "It's yours, sweetie."

Much to Callie's surprise, she saw tears welling up in the corners of Samantha's eyes as she climbed out of bed to go inspect her present.

* * *

"Okay, what was the big deal with the suitcase?" Callie asked as she and Derek met up with Meredith at the nurses' station. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone cry over a suitcase before."

"It's a self esteem thing," Meredith said. "Do you know what they give foster kids to move their stuff from home to home?"

"Don't they give them suitcases?" Derek asked.

"No, they don't," Meredith said. "I mean, they try, but there are so many kids, they never have enough. Social Services has always been one of the most underfunded government programs, so suitcases aren't exactly high on the list of things they're spending money on, and the kids never have their own. So instead, they give them one of those black garbage bags and tell them to just shove it all in there."

"Are you kidding me?" Callie asked. "They carry their things in garbage bags?"

"Having your own suitcase is a luxury most foster kids don't have," Meredith said. "That's why the suitcase made her cry."

"How did you know that?" Derek asked.

"I just did," Meredith shrugged, quickly changing the subject. "Has anyone seen Izzie? She's supposed to drive me to therapy right about now. I don't want to be late...I think I'll go look for her. See you later, Callie."

"What was that about?" Callie asked in confusion, turning to Derek after Meredith walked away.

"I haven't a clue," Derek said. "I wish I did, though."


	4. Silent No More

**A/N:** Thank you again to everyone who has been looking for updates and reviewing! It seems that emails are slowly coming back, although so far, I've only received the back emails up through most of the chapter 2 reviews. Hopefully the alert for this chapter will go out quickly!

* * *

Karen Harper looked up in surprise as Meredith Grey walked silently into her office that afternoon and sat down on the couch across from her. Meredith's silence was slightly disconcerting to her therapist, who had grown accustomed to Meredith's straight-to-the-point style of starting every session. As the minutes ticked past and Meredith still didn't speak, Karen grew concerned about whatever it was that was on Meredith's mind.

"You know, Meredith, this works much better if you and I actually talk," Karen finally said. "As much as I don't mind just sitting here and relaxing, I'm fairly certain that isn't what you're paying me to do."

"I…I went to the hospital this morning," Meredith said.

"Is anything wrong?" Karen asked in concern.

"Oh, no, not like that," Meredith assured her. "I was bored, so I was visiting my friends. My sister Lexie, she had this patient…this little girl. It was just…she was so…I'm sorry, I don't know what exactly I'm trying to say here."

"This patient, did she upset you?" Karen asked.

"In a way," Meredith said. "She was just…it was liking looking at me when I was younger."

"She looked like you, then," Karen said questioningly.

"No, not physically…she just, she reminds me of who I used to be," Meredith said. "She's a foster kid, you know. Ten years old and she already thinks having hope is pointless."

"So which part reminds you of yourself?" Karen asked.

"All of it," Meredith admitted. "Except I was seven when I was a foster child."

Karen sat back as she absorbed the information Meredith had just shared. Even she, who was used to seeing people with a myriad of past issues, hadn't seen this revelation coming.

"You've never mentioned being in the foster care system," Karen commented.

"Yeah, well, what fun would this be if I told you everything all at once?" Meredith asked. "I just…over the years, I've gotten really good at pretending those six months never happened. I talked to that little girl today and told her about how I was in the system. That's the first time I've said it out loud since, well, ever."

"You've never talked about it with anyone?" Karen asked.

Meredith shook her head. "I've told you how my mother was hardly ever around. And when she was home, she acted as though nothing had ever happened. As though a court had never deemed her temporarily unfit to care for me, as though a social worker had never had to drag me kicking and screaming out of the hospital. She…honestly, I don't think she really cared what I went through. She made it perfectly clear that it wasn't something she ever wanted to talk about, so I never brought it up."

"Do you know why you were removed from your mother?" Karen asked. "There must have been a compelling reason."

"She tried to kill herself," Meredith said. "The next day, she checked into an inpatient psychiatric facility. There weren't really any relatives to take care of me – my mom had an aunt in New Hampshire, but she was something like eighty years old and living in a retirement home. Not exactly the best environment for a seven year old."

"What about…"

"My father?" Meredith filled in, laughing dryly and shaking her head. "He didn't want me."

"Do you know that for sure?" Karen asked.

Meredith nodded. "He had more important things in his life by that time. They called him but he wouldn't take me…"

"_Now, Meredith, you have to calm down," Greta, the social worker assigned to Meredith's case, said as she set her in a chair outside her office._

"_Call my daddy," Meredith sobbed. "He'll come get me. My daddy loves me, he'll come get me. I know he will. Just call my daddy."_

"_Meredith, I need you to calm down, okay?" Greta pleaded. "One of the other social workers, she found your daddy's phone number for me. So you wait here, and I'm going to go call him. Everything will be fine, sweetie."_

_Meredith sat alone outside the office for several minutes before she heard Greta's voice carrying out her end of the conversation._

"_Yes, Mr. Grey, I'm with the Massachusetts Department of Social Services."_

"_No, Mr. Grey, this is about your daughter, Meredith."_

"_Sir, your ex-wife has been deemed temporarily unfit to care for your daughter. As her father, custody reverts to you. We just need you to come to Boston to pick her up."_

"_What do you mean, what happens if you don't take her? Mr. Grey, this is your child we're talking about!"_

"_Look, Mr. Grey, if this is about coming out here, we can arrange it so that Meredith is flown out to Seattle and you can pick her up there."_

"_Sir, I don't think you understand. We can't do that. Sending her back to your ex-wife is not an option at the moment. If you don't take her, she'll be placed in the foster care system, but it could be weeks before we find an available home. In the meantime, she'd have to live in a group home."_

"_Mr. Grey, what are you talking about? What could possibly be more important right now than caring for your child? Mr. Grey? Are you there? Hello? Hello?"_

_Meredith heard Greta sigh heavily and slam the phone down on her desk. A few minutes later, she walked out into the hall, a fake smile pasted on her face, and took Meredith by the hand, leading her back to her car and then on to the Boston Children's Home, Meredith's temporary place of residence._

"That's the real reason you've always insisted your father didn't fight for you, isn't it?" Karen surmised.

Meredith nodded. "I think I could forgive him for not fighting for custody in the divorce…I mean, he's not exactly the strongest personality, and my mother was a pretty terrifying woman a lot of the time. Even if I didn't agree with his decision, I can sort of understand it."

"But you can't understand this one," Karen observed.

"What kind of father just lets them send his daughter into the foster care system? What kind of a person just walks away when their child needs them the most?" Meredith asked. "I don't care what was going on in his life, there's no excuse for that. None whatsoever. And as much as I try to move past it, I hate him for it. I tried to forgive him…when Susan was around, she made me want to be able to forgive him, but even them, I just couldn't do it."

"Did you ever talk to him about this?" Karen asked. "Hear his side of the story? Find out what prevented him from coming?"

"No," Meredith admitted. "But after I met Lexie, I didn't have to ask. I knew."

"You think your sister is the reason he wouldn't take you?" Karen asked.

"That phone call I told you about, that happened on February 2nd," Meredith said. "Lexie was born on February 9th. I was seven when it happened, and Lexie is seven years younger than I am. It didn't take me long to do the math once I found out how old she was."

"How do you feel about that?" Karen asked.

"I think it's a pretty lame reason to abandon your child," Meredith said. "If anything, you'd think having another baby would make you want to be closer to the one who was in trouble, not shut her out. I just can't understand it."

"Sometimes other people do things that will never make sense to the rest of us," Karen said. "I'm going to assume that neither of your sisters is aware of what happened, correct?"

"They don't have any idea," Meredith agreed. "And they can't know. They can never find out."

"Why not?" Karen asked.

"I don't want them to feel sorry for me," Meredith said. "And I don't want Lexie to feel guilty. She takes things very personally, and this…there's no way she wouldn't think that it was her fault. She might even think that I blame her."

"Do you?" Karen asked.

"No, I don't," Meredith said. "Not anymore."

"But you did," Karen observed.

"When I first found out, yeah, I tried to," Meredith said. "I wanted to think that somehow, it had been her fault. I don't know why, but everything almost made more sense when I blamed this sister I didn't even know than it did when I just blamed Thatcher."

"That actually makes a lot of sense," Karen said.

"How?" Meredith asked. "Because it doesn't make any sense to me."

"Because you have good memories of your father," Karen said. "You remember a time when your father was a man who loved you, who was always there for you. You remember a father who held you when you cried, sang to you when you were scared and who made you feel safe. Even if he had proved again and again throughout the years that he wasn't the same man as the one you remembered, it was easier to put your blame on someone you had no emotional connection to than it was to try to reconcile the father you remember with the father who failed you when you needed him most."

"So that's why you make the big bucks," Meredith sighed. "I don't blame her anymore, though. There wasn't anything to forgive, but I still forgave her and I stopped being angry with her."

"What made you do that?" Karen asked.

"The more I got to know her, the harder it was to be angry with her," Meredith said. "I guess you'd probably say it was because, as much as I tried not to, I was forming an emotional connection with her. And then there was the accident…the accident changed everything."

"Because she was there for you?" Karen asked.

"Maybe," Meredith said. "But I don't think that was it. It was more that the accident was a wake-up call for me. I didn't even realize it as it was happening, but I was turning into my mother – I was burying myself in work, I was pushing away my friends and family, I was holding on to all sorts of irrational anger. I didn't want to be my mother, so I had to forgive Lexie."

"Because your mother wasn't the type to forgive," Karen said.

"Partly, yes," Meredith said. "But more than that, I think it was because my mother was never able to forgive _me_. She never got over the fact that Richard didn't leave his wife after she left Thatcher, and she blamed it on the fact that she had a child. She never did forgive me for existing. I loved her, but I don't know that she really was capable of loving me, because she couldn't get past the anger."

"And you recognized the parallels to your own situation with Lexie," Karen observed. "She loved you, but you weren't fully able to love her because you were holding on to this irrational anger. You were blaming her for someone else's actions because that was easier, just like it was easier for your mother to blame you than to accept that Richard's love for her wasn't as strong as what he felt to his wife."

"Well, I don't think I thought it through that much when I was lying in my hospital bed," Meredith laughed. "But yeah, that was pretty much it."

* * *

Meredith smiled in relief as she slipped into the front seat of Callie's car and took the hot fudge sundae Callie was holding out for her.

"You look like you could use this," Callie said.

"How did you know?" Meredith asked, eagerly grabbing the spoon and digging in.

Callie laughed as she started the car and headed toward the highway. "Molly called and told me that's what you ate after a tough session. You seemed a little off at the hospital earlier, so I guessed that today was going to be a hot fudge day. And from the way you're going at that sundae, I guessed right. Just try not to get any on the seats."

"I'll do my best," Meredith laughed. "Did you eat yours already?"

"Nah, I didn't get one," Callie said.

"Um, since when do you turn down an opportunity for ice cream?" Meredith asked. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Of course," Callie insisted. "I'm just trying to eat healthier for a while, that's all."

"Why?" Meredith asked. "And please don't tell me you're trying to lose weight, because that's ridiculous, you look great."

"Well, thank you for that," Callie said. "And no, I'm not trying to lose weight. I just…I'm trying to be a bit healthier, that's all."

"Nope, that's not all," Meredith said. "Come on, I can see you're dying to tell me, just spill already, would you?"

"Fine, but if George finds out you know, you didn't hear it from me," Callie warned. "We're trying not to say anything this time, not until there's anything to tell."

"What's going on?" Meredith asked.

"We're just getting ready, just in case," Callie said. "We're thinking, maybe – and it's still a big maybe right now – but maybe in a few months, after the holidays, we might try to get pregnant. I just want to do everything right, and they say if the mother is healthy before she gets pregnant, everything is easier."

"This is so exciting," Meredith gushed. "Everyone's having babies these days, it seems."

"Who else is having a baby?" Callie asked.

"Well, one of Derek's sisters delivered this morning, and two more of them are pregnant," Meredith said. "Plus my sister is pregnant."

"Lexie's pregnant?" Callie asked in surprise.

"No, no, Molly, not Lexie," Meredith laughed. "Don't go spreading that rumor around, you might give Pierce a heart attack."

"They'd make a cute baby, though," Callie observed. "I still can't get over how perfect they are together."

"They really are, aren't they?" Meredith smiled. "It took me a while to get used to him with Lexie, but he's really good for her. They're definitely not ready for a kid, though."

"Definitely not," Callie laughed.

"So, is George excited?" Meredith asked.

"He really is," Callie said, smiling softly. "Last time we tried, before the separation and all of that, I knew he was only doing it because it's what I wanted. But this time, he's really getting excited about the idea of being a father. Of course, we're definitely not telling his mother for a while, because the last thing I need is another box full of her hand-knitted neutral color baby clothes, infant through toddler sized."

"I'm so happy for you guys," Meredith said. "What made you decide to try this time?"

"The timing just seems so perfect," Callie said. "By the time we get pregnant and the baby arrives, George will be a third year, so even though he'll still be crazy busy, it'll be a bit easier for him to get time off to help with the baby. And now that I'm an attending, my schedule is so much more reasonable for raising a child. Plus, being an attending also means that my surgeries are not at someone else's whim, so I don't have to worry nearly as much about being mommy-tracked."

"Well, for the record, I think you and George are going to have gorgeous babies," Meredith said.

"Thank you," Callie said happily.

"Hey, have you talked to Addison at all today?" Meredith asked. "Is she freaking out yet?"

"Surprisingly, no," Callie said. "I don't know how she's so calm – maybe she's freaking out and just sounds calm on the phone. I know I wouldn't be calm if I were getting married in less than three days."

"Especially if the wedding was going to be at my house," Meredith said, shaking her head. "I don't know how she's managing that. I think when Derek and I get married, I'll be so nervous that keeping my house clean will be the last thing I want to think about."

"_When_ you and Derek get married?" Callie asked, slightly taken aback by Meredith's statement. "Is there something you want to tell me, Meredith?"

"Did I really just say that?" Meredith asked, more than a bit embarrassed by her slip-up. "No, there's nothing to tell, Callie. Just a slip of the tongue, that's all."

"You're clearly thinking about it, though, even if he hasn't asked," Callie said.

"Maybe I am," Meredith said. "But that's a long way off in the future. We're taking things slowly, getting to know each other again. There are still a lot of steps between where we are and marriage, or even an engagement."

"But you think you'll get there?" Callie asked. "It's a matter of when, not if?"

"Yeah, I think we'll get there," Meredith conceded. "I think we're going to have a lot of things to work through, but I do think that someday, we'll reach that step."

"I'd just like to state now, for the record, that I will not wear a pink bridesmaids' dress ever again," Callie said. "So don't even think of asking me to be in the wedding if you're going with pink."

"Um, yuck," Meredith laughed. "I haven't actually thought of colors, but there will be no pink bridesmaids at my wedding, thank you very much. But you know you'd wear it if I asked."

"Only if I got to kill you first," Callie teased.

"You're wearing it for Addison," Meredith argued. "And I talked to her last night, I know she's not dead."

"Only because she was two states away when she told me I'd be wearing pink," Callie said. "Besides, it's not really pink, more of a light burgundy than an actual pink."

"Burgundy?" Meredith scoffed. "Uh huh, you just keep telling yourself that, Callie."


	5. Getting It Right

**A/N:** Thank you again for all of the reviews! I'm so relieved that the emails seem to be working again. I hope you all enjoy the new chapter! I know a lot of you are eager to see more Mer/Der moments, and I promise, there will be plenty in the coming chapters. Right now, though, it's time for Addison's wedding!

* * *

"It's about time you got here," Addison exclaimed the next evening as she hugged Callie and Meredith. "I was expecting you hours ago. I thought maybe you were lost in the desert or something."

"Nah," Callie laughed. "We just had to make a few more stops than expected, that's all."

"Well, come on in," Addison said. "Everyone's hanging out on the deck right now. I'll have Kevin come out and take your bags next door to Sam's."

"George is coming Saturday morning, right?" Addison asked as she and Callie headed out toward the deck while Meredith took a slight detour to use the bathroom.

"His flight gets in around eight," Callie confirmed. "He says he's sorry he couldn't be here sooner, but he couldn't get any more than two days off."

"Hey, I remember what it's like to be a second year," Addison said. "I'm just glad he'll be here for the ceremony. Oh, I hope you don't mind not staying here…Kevin and I just thought it would be a little too much to have people here and host the reception at the same time."

"Don't worry about it," Callie assured her. "Sam's just next door, right? We'll be fine."

"I had him give Meredith the guest room and you and George will have the sofa bed in his living room…I figured as much as Meredith insists she's fine, the real bed would be easier on her body."

"She's not fine," Callie said. "She likes to think she is, but she's not. We had to stop every hour during the drive so that she could move around, because if we didn't, her leg would freeze up. She wants to return to work, but if she can't sit a car for more than an hour without freezing up, how's she going to stand in an OR for hours on end? And do you know why we drove down here?"

"I think Meredith said something about wanting to see the coastline," Addison said.

"She can't fly," Callie said. "She went to pick her sister and brother-in-law up at the airport in June and had a panic attacking just walking through the doors to baggage claim."

"My God," Addison whispered. "I had no idea."

"She doesn't talk about it," Callie said. "I think she's embarrassed. I only know because when Meredith first asked me to drive her down, I wasn't going to do it. Molly called and told me the real reason she wanted to drive. She's getting better, but she's definitely still got a lot of work ahead of her."

* * *

"I've got fifty bucks on 'not a chance in hell,'" Alex said as he pulled out his wallet and handed Debbie a crisp fifty dollar bill.

"Anyone else care to wager?" Debbie asked, holding up the envelope containing the cash so far. "The pot's looking fairly decent already."

"I'll take that bet," Izzie said. "My fifty bucks says Alex is wrong, and they were telling the truth."

"No way," Mark said. "I hate to say this…Lord knows, I really hate to say this…but I agree with Karev on this one. Addie would never do something like that. My money's on Grey and Torres pulling our legs."

"What are we betting on?" Derek asked as he approached the group. "Anything worth getting in on?"

"It's just a small wager on Dr. Montgomery's wedding," Debbie said.

"You're kidding me, right?" Derek asked, looking over at Mark. "You're betting on Addie's wedding? At least tell me you're not betting on the outcome."

"Of course not," Mark insisted. "Come on, Derek, you know that I've got more class than that, thank you very much. We're just betting on the reception."

"What's so exciting about that?" Derek asked in confusion.

"Well, you know Dr. Montgomery better than most people," Alex said. "Meredith and Callie told us that she's planning on having a barbeque on her back deck as her reception. The bet's on whether or not they're telling the truth."

"No way," Derek said. "Addison definitely would never go for something like that. When we got married, we had three hundred guests at the Waldorf-Astoria for our reception. You don't go from caviar and champagne to ribs and steaks. I'll put my fifty on no barbeque."

* * *

"Okay, what the hell is a bachelorette brunch?" Meredith asked as she and Callie followed Addison into an upscale downtown restaurant the next morning.

"It's my version of a bachelorette party," Addison explained. "This is my way of making sure no one tries to throw me a party tonight."

"What's wrong with a bachelorette party?" Meredith asked. "Those toilet paper dress games are pretty funny."

"I'm 39 years old, I've been married before, I don't need to go out and drunk out off my ass just because I'm getting married tomorrow," Addison said as they approached the table.

"Not that I didn't suggest it," a woman piped up from the other side of the table. "Because it sure was a lot of fun the first time around."

Addison laughed as she walked over and hugged the woman. "Everyone, these are my friends from Seattle, Meredith Grey and Callie Torres-O'Malley."

Meredith and Callie smiled and nodded as they slipped into their seats.

"Callie, Mer, this is Naomi Bennett, my maid of honor," Addison said, motioning to the woman who had spoken earlier.

"For the second time," Naomi laughed. "And there had better not be a third, because after tomorrow, I do not intend to ever wear another pink dress so long as I live."

"Very funny," Addison said, turning to introduce the rest of the group. "Guys, this is Violet Turner, Violet works with Naomi and I at the clinic."

"I'm the shrink," Violet said as she shook their hands.

Meredith and Callie smiled politely as Addison introduced her soon-to-be mother-in-law and a few other friends before everyone sat down to enjoy their food.

"So Meredith," Naomi said a few minutes later. "Are you the friend who had Addison practically living over at St. Ambrose last January?"

"That would be me," Meredith confirmed. "Thanks for sharing her."

"So what exactly happened?" Violet asked. "Were you really in a plane crash?"

"What?" Violet asked in surprise as Naomi elbowed her in the ribs and Addison shot her a disapproving glare. "I'm just curious!"

"It's alright," Meredith assured them. "Yes, I was in a plane crash, but I'm fine now."

"So are you back at work yet?" Naomi asked. "I imagine it must have been hard, losing those hours in the middle of your residency."

"Actually, I'm still on leave," Meredith said. "Because _somebody_," she stressed with a glance in Callie's direction, "won't clear me to return."

"When you're ready, you'll be cleared, but not before," Callie replied. "Besides, it's not like it's just me. Even your physical therapists agree that you aren't ready. I'm pretty sure you're the only one who thinks that you're ready to work again."

"Regardless, as long as I can start back by the end of January, I should be fine," Meredith said. "The chief of surgery says if I'm back by then, I can just pick up where I left off and finish out my second year, so that I'll just be one year behind the rest of my original intern class."

"So you mean to tell me that you've been off work for seven months?" Naomi asked. "How have you not gone insane? I mean, what do you do with yourself all day?"

Meredith shrugged. "I keep busy enough, I guess. The first few months after the accident were pretty much filled with doctors' appointments and physical therapy all week long, but things have calmed down quite a bit. I usually spend three or four days every week staying with my sister, helping her with her daughter. Her husband is in the middle of his third deployment in Iraq, so I think she likes the company."

"What do you do the other half of the week?" Addison asked. "Somehow I can't see you just sitting around."

"Oh, you know, a little bit of this, a little bit of that," Meredith said. "I still have physical therapy three days a week, weekly appointments with my doctors, plus therapy twice a week. And I spend a lot of time hanging out at the hospital watching surgeries. Just because I can't cut doesn't mean I can't follow my friends around and try to diagnose their patients for them before they get annoyed and kick me out. And I've found lots of projects around the house to keep me busy, too. I actually just finished redoing the basement."

"Yeah, that one was interesting," Callie laughed. "George and I came by a few months ago and the whole house was in shambles. I was afraid it was going to fall down around me."

"Hey, it is not my fault you stopped by on a construction day without calling," Meredith said.

"Construction?" Addison asked. "Good Lord, Meredith, what are you doing to your house?"

"Callie's exaggerating, it wasn't that bad," Meredith insisted. "I had one wall on the first floor moved to make the study bigger so that Lexie could use it as a bedroom. Then, I figured since I already had the construction guys in the house, I might as well make good use of them. The basement's always been unfinished, so I had them finish it and put a few rooms in down there, because the space was huge. So I had a guest bedroom and full bathroom put in, since my house seems to still attract people like a magnet, so they might as well have someplace to sleep. And then the rest of the space is the new TV room."

"Which even I have to admit is a pretty kick-ass room," Callie said.

"It's nothing fancy," Meredith explained. "Just a couple of couches, a small bar, a plasma TV and shelves full of my mother's surgery tapes."

* * *

The next day went by in a whirl for everyone involved. Addison had opted for a surprisingly low-key wedding, but that didn't mean there weren't dozens of last-minute things to keep everyone running around until the very last second.

Finally, with the sun setting over the ocean behind them, Addison and Kevin exchanged vows and were married on the beach near the house they now shared. After the simple ceremony, the thirty or so guests retreated to the comfort of Addison's large deck for a barbeque reception.

"So, how does it feel to married?" Meredith asked as Addison walked up beside her as she leaned against the edge of the deck and stared out at the ocean.

"Amazing," Addison smiled. "And, somehow different than I expected."

"What were you expecting?" Meredith asked, turning to face her friend.

"Well, I thought I knew what I'd feel right now," Addison said. "You know, because I've been married before. But this feels so different than right after I married Derek."

"Different how?" Meredith asked.

"I'm not sure I can put my finger on it, exactly," Addison said. "After I married Derek, I felt exhausted from everything that had been leading up to that day. Don't get me wrong, I was happy to be married, but I was just so relieved that it was all over. But today, today just feels so natural…I feel exhilarated, not exhausted. It's amazing the difference."

"You know, no one back in Seattle believed me when I told them you were having a barbeque on your back deck as a reception," Meredith said.

"Hey, it's good food," Addison said. "And really, when you're marrying a man whose parents own one of the most popular restaurants in Los Angeles, how can you refuse their offer to cater the reception?"

"I guess you can't," Meredith said.

"It's not my fault if that restaurant happens to be a barbeque restaurant," Addison laughed.

"I'm just glad you changed out of your dress," Meredith said. "I had these horrible visions of sauce going straight down the front of that white dress."

"I had those same nightmares," Addison said. "That's why I got this one too."

"Hey, not to interrupt or anything," George said as he walked up to the two women. "But Meredith, did you know that those people over there have been glaring at you most of the evening?"

"I noticed," Meredith said. "But I don't know them, so I'm choosing to ignore them."

Addison groaned as she followed George and Meredith's gaze. "Damn," she muttered. "I'm sorry, Mer, those are my parents."

"Ah, that makes sense now," Meredith laughed. "I guess someone told them I'm the slutty intern who stole their first son-in-law away from you?"

"Probably. I'll talk to them, but don't worry, they weren't ever horribly fond of Derek, so I don't know what their problem is," Addison assured her.

"I'll bet they liked him more than they like the idea of their little girl having a barbeque on the beach as a wedding reception," Meredith commented.

"You know, I stopped caring about what my parents thought when I moved to Seattle," Addison said. "For my first wedding, I did everything my mother suggested, from the flowers to the guest list to the cake. This time, I didn't even tell her I was planning a wedding, I just sent off an invitation."

"I think my mother would have beheaded me if I did that," George said.

"George, you _did_ do that," Meredith reminded her. "Except you didn't even send an invitation, you just left a message on her answering machine telling her you got married in Vegas."

"Good point," George laughed. "I don't think she forgave me until Callie and I renewed our vows and let her plan the ceremony. And she wasn't half as bad as Callie's mother, who wouldn't even speak to us until we let her plan the reception. That's really why we did the vow renewal, so that our mothers would speak to us again."

"What about you, Meredith?" Addison asked. "Is there a big fancy wedding in your future?"

"Nah," Meredith said. "I think I'd be too nervous with hundreds of people there. I'll probably just want family and close friends. Although, with the size of Derek's family, that could still put the guest list into the hundreds."

Addison laughed. "I take it things are going well between you two, then?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Meredith said. "We're sort of dating again. It hasn't been that long, though. Actually, only about a week. So nothing's official yet. But I think we're going to make it work this time. We're different people than we were before. He knows what he wants, I'm starting to figure out what I want. It's nice. It's just weird you know, having a relationship where we actually have to make plans to see each other. I'm not used to that."

"Well, it's not like you don't spend almost as much time at the hospital as the rest of us," George said. "She's not working right now, but you'd never know by the way she follows us around and tries to steal our cases."

"I'm not stealing cases," Meredith insisted. "I'm just trying to help. You know, speeding the diagnostic process along, things like that."

"The interns are terrified of her," George laughed. "They think she's insane."

"Isn't she?" Addison teased.

"You two are not very nice," Meredith pouted. "I can be very helpful even if I can't cut."

"It's true sometimes," George agreed. "Callie still can't get over the way you got through to that Samantha kid the other day. That girl was an absolute nightmare."

"She was not," Meredith said. "She was just scared. Besides, she was only ten, you might not want to make it too widely known how much she scared you."

"A ten year old scared you off, O'Malley?" Addison laughed.

"You didn't meet this ten year old," George said. "I mean, I get that being in foster care sucks, but still, there was no need for her to be so nasty."

"You don't get it," Meredith said, shaking her head.

"Don't get what?" George asked.

"You say you get that being in foster care sucks, but you don't," Meredith said. "And that's not your fault, it isn't. But you don't get it. You can't get it, because you grew up with two parents who were always there. You don't know what it's like to wake up every morning not knowing if you're going to go to sleep in the same bed that night. You don't know what it's like to avoid making friends so that it won't hurt so much when the people you're living with decide you're too much trouble and send you back to the group home. You don't know what it's like to have nothing to call your own other than a few pairs of clothes in a black plastic bag. Unless you've lived it, you can't even begin to comprehend it."

"So how did you manage to get through to her?" Addison asked.

Meredith sighed. "I've lived it," she said softly.

"You what?" George asked in shock.

"I was a foster child when I was seven," Meredith said.

"I thought you were raised by your mother," Addison said in confusion.

"I was, for the most part. It was just a few months when I was younger. It's a long story," Meredith said. "One that I'd rather not talk about tonight. We're supposed to be celebrating your wedding, not dwelling on my depressing past. So, let's celebrate…is it time for that cake yet? Because I could sure use some sugar right about now."

"You know you can talk to me if you need to," Addison said compassionately.

"Me too," George added.

"I know, and I appreciate it, I really do," Meredith said. "Just not tonight, okay?"

"Alright," Addison smiled. "I'll go get Kevin, because cake sure does sound good right about now."


	6. Confessions and Confidence

**A/N:** I'm so glad that you all are enjoying this story! I'm trying to get the updates finished as quickly as I can - just as a warning, I'll be leaving town Friday morning and will very limited internet access for a week and a half, so during that time, I won't be able to update or respond to your reviews - but I'm sure I'll have plenty written when I get back! In the meantime, I'm hoping to get two more updates up after this one before I leave.

For those of you who've been waiting for more Mer/Der moments, this is the chapter for you!

* * *

"Hello, all you doubters," Izzie laughed as she walked up to the nurses' station Monday morning, spotting Derek reviewing a chart and Mark and Alex discussing a patient. "Debbie, would you care to take a look at some pictures?"

"Pictures, Dr. Stevens?" Debbie asked in confusion.

"Meredith took them," Izzie said. "They're of Dr. Montgomery's….excuse me, it's now Dr. Nelson's…wedding reception."

"If they'll settle the bet, I'd be delighted," Debbie said, taking the envelope out of Izzie's hands. "Well, I'll be damned," she muttered as she pulled out the pictures of Addison's wedding reception and started laughing. "Looks like the men lose again, Dr. Stevens."

"Lose what?" Alex asked, snatching the pictures out of Debbie's hands. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me!"

"Oh my God," Mark laughed, grabbing one particular picture out of Alex's hand. "Derek, you have got to see this one."

Derek walked over and took a look at the image. "Is that Marlene and Jared?" he asked in shock.

"Dude, those two look pissed off," Alex said as he glanced at the picture. "Who are they?"

"Jared and Marlene Montgomery," Mark said. "Basically, the kind and queen of upper class society in Manhattan."

"Also my former in-laws," Derek said. "And if there was one thing about that marriage I was definitely not sorry to lose, it was Jared and Marlene. Those two are a pain in the neck."

"Well, they certainly don't look too happy about Addie's new marriage," Mark laughed.

"Oh, is that the one of Addison's parents?" Callie asked as she walked up behind them. "Yeah, they weren't exactly the happiest people that night. I don't they realized how much leaving Manhattan had changed Addison. Personally, I think it's a good change, but apparently they don't agree."

"Jared and Marlene aren't exactly change people," Derek laughed. "I mean, I'm not exactly a street bum, but they made it quite clear when Addison and I got married that they considered me beneath them."

"Well, if you really want priceless," Callie said, pausing as she rifled through the pictures before pulling one out and handing it to Derek. "This one's my personal favorite."

"Oh. My. God," Mark gasped as he looked over Derek's shoulder at the image of Marlene Montgomery with wedding cake smeared down the front of her powder blue Vivienne Westwood dress. "The look on Marlene's face, oh Derek, you have to save that one for Mom."

"Marlene had to have had a fit about this one," Derek laughed. "And you're right, Mom will love this…I'm pretty sure it took all her self control not to shove cake at Marlene at my wedding. Who's the kid with the plate?"

"Kevin's nephew," Callie said. "Cute kid, really funny. Fast, too, when he needs to be. I mean, that kid must have set a world record with how fast he sprinted away when Mrs. Montgomery started yelling at him."

"Well, it was lucky that someone was nearby to capture Marlene's face on film," Derek said. "I think this accident may have just made my week."

George laughed as he came up to the nurses' station. "You really think the cake thing was an accident?" he scoffed.

"Wasn't it?" Derek asked.

"No way," George laughed.

"Why would the kid do that?" Mark asked. "Marlene couldn't possibly have annoyed him that much, she thinks it's beneath her to speak to anyone without a net worth of at least seven figures."

George shrugged. "No idea," he said. "But I've seen enough klutzy behavior in my life to know the difference between a kid actually tripping and a kid pretending to trip. That kid, he was definitely aiming for the dress."

* * *

It was Thursday afternoon before Derek finally got a chance to see Meredith again. Standing outside her house, he smiled as she stepped out on the porch and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"You ready to go?" she asked, holding out her hand to lead the way to the car.

"I'm always ready," Derek replied.

"Sure you are," Meredith laughed. "You forget I've seen you in the morning. You take longer to do your hair than Izzie."

"Hey, don't mess with the hair routine," Derek argued. "You don't want to see me without it."

"Oh, I've seen you without it," Meredith said. "In fact, I'm fairly certain I've got a picture somewhere. Might need to dig that one out for blackmail someday."

"Not funny," Derek scolded jokingly. "Although if you really wanted to blackmail someone, I'm sure you could get quite a bit of cash out of Marlene Montgomery for the negatives of that cake picture you took last weekend."

"Are you kidding me?" Meredith laughed. "No way in hell am I giving those negatives up. That was the best forty bucks I've spent in a long time, Derek."

"Forty bucks?" Derek asked incredulously. "Wait, you paid the kid to smash his cake into Marlene's dress?"

"Hey, even Addison thought it was funny," Meredith said. "And Kevin's nephew was priceless, you should have heard him. 'Gee, Mrs. Montgomery, I'm awful sorry, I didn't see you there. Are you sure you didn't move? Maybe you shouldn't have any more champagne.' I thought I was going to die laughing."

"Not that I don't also think it was hilarious, but what on earth possessed you to do that?" Derek asked.

"She was extremely annoying, Derek," Meredith protested. "I mean, it was her daughter's wedding, you'd think the least the woman could do was crack a smile. But no, she spent the evening glaring at me and telling anyone who'd listen that her daughter was marrying even further beneath her than before."

"Why was she glaring at you?" Derek asked.

"I think it had something to do with the fact that I'm dating her ex-son-in-law," Meredith said. "I don't know for sure, though, because I really wasn't interested in asking."

"So we're dating?" Derek asked hopefully. "I don't want to push…I'm just curious, wondering if we were putting a name on what we're doing."

"Yeah, we're dating," Meredith said. "Is that alright?"

"That is more than alright," Derek said. "I like dating you. More dates, I say."

"Well, I'm sure there will be plenty more dates," Meredith said as Derek smiled over at her. "We're taking steps and that starts with dating."

* * *

"You're insane, Meredith," Cristina sighed as they sat in the hospital cafeteria two days later. "You know that, right?"

"I am not insane," Meredith insisted. "In fact, I think this will be really good for me."

"Surgery, Meredith," Cristina said. "Surgery is what is good for you, not this touchy-feely crap."

"I'm not giving up surgery, Cristina," Meredith argued. "But I can't just sit around the house until Callie says I can operate again. It's going to make me crazy if I don't do something."

"No, _this_," Cristina said, emphasizing the word. "This idea of yours is crazy. And you are crazy for saying 'yes' to this thing."

"For the last time, I am not crazy," Meredith said.

"Who says you're crazy?" Derek asked, walking up to the table and slipping into the seat next to Meredith.

"I do," Cristina said as she quickly stood up to leave them alone. "She's insane. I don't like you McDreamy, but I might dislike you a little less if you talk her out of this."

"Do I even want to ask what that was about?" Derek laughed as Cristina walked away.

"I love Cristina, I really do," Meredith said. "She's my person, after all. But she sucks at being supportive."

"I can be supportive," Derek offered.

"Okay, but you have to promise not flip out on me like Cristina did," Meredith said.

"I cross my heart," Derek said, making an 'x' over his chest for effect.

"Fine," Meredith said, smiling slightly. "I had this interview thing yesterday morning, and I sort of got a job."

"A job?" Derek asked. "As in, something other than surgery?"

"I'm not giving up being a surgeon," Meredith said quickly. "That's not what this is about, despite what Cristina may think. It's just, the way things are progressing, it's going to be at least a few more months before I'm cleared to return to work here. And if I'm not cleared by the end of January, the board says I have to wait until the staff year resets in June. I put it off as long as could, but I'll go crazy without something to do for the next few months. There's only so many rooms in the house I can redecorate before it gets a little bit ridiculous."

"So, you got a job," Derek repeated.

"It's just a part time thing," Meredith said. "It'll be three days a week, but my hours are going to be really flexible. I can basically just pick when I want to work. The pay's not much, but I don't really need the money. And my therapist thinks this job could be a really great healing experience for me. She's almost more excited about it than I am."

"Well, I for one think it's great," Derek said.

"You do?" Meredith asked eagerly.

"I do," Derek confirmed. "And whatever it is, I'm sure you'll be great at it."

"Thanks," Meredith said. "That means a lot to me, Derek."

"So, what is the big job?" Derek asked.

"I'm going to work for the Seattle Children's Home," Meredith said. "I'll be doing a lot of different things – teaching classes for new foster parents, advising current foster families, helping the kids adjust to their new homes or readjust when they come back to the group home. Plus I'll be doing some community relations work, soliciting donors, getting volunteers involved in the programs, things like that."

"Wow," Derek said. "That sounds like some pretty amazing work."

"I think it'll be good for me," Meredith said. "I had to do a little sweet talking to get the job, because usually they want someone with a background in social work, but I convinced them to make an exception for me."

"Because of your medical background?" Derek asked.

Meredith paused for a minute before slowly shaking her head. "More because of my…well, my personal background."

Meredith hesitated slightly at the look of confusion on Derek's face, but realized it was too late to back out of telling him the truth now. If they were going to build a healthy relationship, it was time for him to know the truth of her background.

"Could we maybe go somewhere more private to talk about this?" she asked nervously.

"Sure," Derek said, his voice giving away his concern. "Why don't we go up to my office?"

* * *

"So, your personal background?" Derek asked as he shut and locked the door to his office.

Meredith sighed and sank down onto the couch, motioning for Derek to sit next to her.

"I was a foster child when I was younger," Meredith said. "That's why I was able to convince them to give me this job."

"But I thought…what about Ellis?" Derek asked. "I thought she had custody of you?"

"It's a long story," Meredith said.

"I've got time, if you want to talk about it," Derek offered. "If not, I'm always here when you're ready."

Meredith nodded and looked down at their interlaced fingers. "I was seven," she began slowly. "My mother tried to kill herself."

"Oh Meredith," Derek sighed, reaching out and grabbing her hand. "I had no idea."

"I can still remember it, everything about that afternoon," Meredith said. "A lot of what happened after that is a blur, but I can still see those few hours just like they were yesterday. I knew something was wrong when she came home early. My mother never came home early, not ever. But she did that day, and then she sent the babysitter home, which was another thing she never did. I was in the kitchen, making a sandwich, when she came in. She sat down on the floor and told me to come sit next to her. I think I thought we were going to play a game or something, until she pulled a scalpel out of her purse. She looked at me, looked me right in the eyes. She looked so empty, emptier than I'd ever seen her eyes look. As if all her hope was gone. And then she told me that whatever I did, I was not to call 911."

Meredith paused and took a deep breath as Derek squeezed her hand and kissed her gently on the forehead. "We can stop if you want," he whispered.

"No, I'm okay," Meredith assured him. "I guess you figured out by now, she slit her wrists. And I just sat there, frozen, right next to her. Just staring, watching her blood pool around my feet. She did the same thing, just stared at me, until she finally passed out. Then I climbed on the counter, grabbed the phone and called 911. They wouldn't let me come in the ambulance with her, so one of the neighbors drove me to the hospital. The nurses, they all knew me, so they let me sleep in an on call room instead of staying in the waiting room. All I could think about was how angry my mother was going to be when she woke up and found out that I had called 911. I never did find out if she was mad, though, because one of the nurses called social services after I told her I didn't have any family in Boston. I didn't see my mother again for six and half months."

"You were in for that long?" Derek asked.

"Yeah, I was," Meredith confirmed. "They sent Ellis to an inpatient psychiatric center, so there really wasn't anyone to take care of me. She was in there for about five months, but then it took another month and a half to convince the courts that she was stable enough to take custody of me. I was getting used to the thought that I'd never see her again, and all of a sudden, she was back. When I first went in, I thought she was mad at me. I thought she didn't want me anymore because I hadn't listened to her."

As Derek held her hand and they sat there in silence, Meredith finally felt herself letting go and slowly, the tears began to fall. Derek pulled her closer, holding her in his arms as she cried the tears she'd held back for all those years.

"I wish I could make it all go away, Meredith," Derek whispered as he kissed her hair.

"I know," she said sadly. "But for better or for worse, it's part of who I am. And you know what? This new job is a chance for me to make it something good. I've spent so many years trying to forget it, trying to pretend it never happened…but it's not something I can just wish away. So I might as well do something with my experience, right?"

"I am so proud of you, you know that?" Derek said. "You constantly amaze me with how strong you are."

"Thanks for listening," Meredith said.

"Anytime," Derek said. "Day or night, I'm here."

"I love you," Meredith whispered softly as she laid her head on his shoulder.

Pulling her a little bit tighter, Derek wondered if she could feel the way his heart raced at her words. "I love you too," he whispered back as he closed his eyes, holding Meredith just a little bit tighter and wishing the moment never had to end.


	7. Cue The Freaking Out

**A/N:** Thank you all for the reviews on the last chapter! I will try to respond to all your reviews before I leave Friday morning, but if I don't, know that I really do appreciate it! I'm anticipating that I'll be able to get up one more chapter before I leave, but if not, I guess this isn't too bad of a note to leave you all on for a little while (although the next chapter ends much more happily, I think, so I'll work extra hard to get it up tomorrow!).

* * *

"So, are you deliberately ignoring the family again?" Mark asked as he flopped down on the couch in Derek's office and began working on the charts he had brought with him.

"You know, the hospital gave you your own office to do those in," Derek pointed in.

"Yeah, but they gave you the comfortable couch," Mark said. "And I certainly can't be expected to do work at a desk, or on the rock they've tried to pass off as my couch, which means the only place left is right here. Now, can we get back to you ignoring the family, please?"

"I'm not ignoring them," Derek insisted. "I've just been busy."

"I'm busy too," Mark said. "And yet, I've had the time to take three calls from Mom, two from Beth, one from Kathleen, four from Abby and even one from Nancy. All of them wanted to know if you were dead, because apparently you haven't called home in three weeks."

"I told you, I'm busy," Derek said.

"And cranky, apparently," Mark observed. "Grey not putting out like she used to?"

"You're a pig, Mark," Derek said. "I don't know why I keep you around."

"I'm too charming to kick to the curb," Mark said. "So, the sex not as good as you remember it? Is that why you're cranky and avoiding the family?"

"You don't know what you're talking about," Derek insisted.

"So enlighten me," Mark urged.

"You really want to know, fine. I don't call home because every time I talk to Mom she wants to know if I'm bringing Meredith home for Thanksgiving and I just don't feel like explaining, yet again, that I don't know if we're at that point in the relationship."

"And your sexually frustrated anger stems from…"

"I'm not sexually frustrated," Derek argued. "We're waiting. She's not ready for that step, so we're taking it slowly."

"You've been back together for two whole months and you're still not getting any?" Mark asked in shock.

"I waited seven months without her, Mark," Derek said. "I'll wait as long as she needs. Another few months aren't going to kill me."

* * *

"I still haven't slept with Derek," Meredith said as she walked into her therapist's office that afternoon.

"Is he pressuring you to?" Karen asked.

"No, he's been really great about it," Meredith said. "My friends are teasing me about it, and I'm sure Mark is giving Derek a hard time. I know Derek wants to, he's definitely ready, but he says he'll wait as long as it takes for me to be ready."

"And what is it that makes you feel unready?" Karen asked.

"I don't know," Meredith admitted. "I mean, it's not that I don't want to sleep with him. That was always the part of the relationship we were good at, no matter what else was going on. That was like the one thing that held us together."

"Are you afraid to go back to that?" Karen asked. "Do you think that if you sleep with him, you're risking going back to a relationship defined solely by sex?"

Meredith sighed. "The thought has crossed my mind, yes. We've made so much progress lately. I feel like we're connecting on so many different levels – we can talk about anything, and he's so supportive of me. He's the only one who hasn't once questioned my decision to take the job at the children's home. I think we've talked more in the last two months than we did in the entire two years before."

"Do you think physical intimacy will replace this emotional intimacy?" Karen asked.

"Honestly, I don't think it will," Meredith said. "I guess there's always the risk…in my life, I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop, so I guess I can anticipate that risk…but I don't think that'll happen to us."

"So what's holding you back?" Karen asked.

"It's just…I can remember the last time we did it," Meredith said. "I can still see the way he looked at me, the way his hands slid over my body in that way that made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen."

"And you're afraid that it won't be the same," Karen filled in.

"It won't be," Meredith said. "There's no way it could be the same…I mean, everything has changed since then."

"What's changed, Meredith?" Karen asked.

"Just, everything," Meredith said.

"Let's get specific, Meredith," Karen insisted. "I need for you to tell me exactly what's changed."

"I'm not the same person I was the last time we were together," Meredith said. "I don't have the same job, I don't have the same family, I don't look the same, I don't act the same…everything's different."

"Are you concerned about how you look?" Karen asked. "We've had a few discussions in the past about how your scars affect you…is that part of what's holding you back?"

"People cringe when they see the scars on my neck," Meredith said. "Derek says he doesn't care about those, but he has no idea…no clue how bad they are in other places. My back, my leg, my stomach…he doesn't know."

"Are you worried that he'll think differently of you because them?" Karen asked.

"He'd never say anything," Meredith said. "It's just, it's his eyes."

"His eyes?" Karen asked in confusion.

"The way he looks at me, he's always had this way of making me feel like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world just by the way he looks at me," Meredith said. "Even if he says the scars don't bother him, I just want to hold on to that look a little while longer. I'm scared that once he sees the scars that'll go away. That last little bit of how everything used to be, it'll go away."

* * *

"Whatcha doing?" Izzie asked as she walked into Meredith's room and flopped down beside her on the bed, straining to see the laptop balanced on Meredith's stomach.

"Working," Meredith said distractedly, not looking up from her screen.

"On what?" Izzie asked.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Meredith asked.

"Nope," Izzie laughed. "It's Wednesday night, Alex and Lexie are on call and you are not with McDreamy. That means I get to hang out with you. So stop working and hang out."

"I can't, I have to finish this by the end of the week," Meredith said.

"What is it?" Izzie asked.

"I'm writing a grant proposal for the community outreach program," Meredith said. "I want to start a course that we can offer to organizations that might come into contact with foster kids, so that they can have staff that are equipped to better interact with the kids."

"What sort of organizations?" Izzie asked.

"Oh, you know, schools, hospitals, places like that," Meredith said. "We need the grant money to get the program off the ground in terms of getting materials ready, and then the next step would be to sell it to the organizations. The hope is that at some point the class becomes profitable, because the children's home can use all the extra income it can get."

"Well, I'd take your course," Izzie said.

"Thank you, Izzie," Meredith smiled. "I'm glad you feel that way, because once I get the grant, my first stop is going to be a meeting with the board of trustees at Seattle Grace to convince them that they should pay to send all hospital staff to my class."

"Yay us," Izzie said, hoping her fake enthusiasm was enough for Meredith.

"Yeah, yeah, just try not to fall asleep when you're in the program," Meredith laughed.

* * *

"So, my mom called last night," Derek said nervously as he sat across from Meredith in the hospital cafeteria the next afternoon.

"Oh, that's nice," Meredith said, not quite sure why that would make him so nervous.

"Yeah…she um, she said to say hello to you," Derek said.

Meredith looked up from her sandwich, unfazed by Derek's statement. "Oh, well, tell your mother that I say hello back."

"She sort of wants to say it in person," Derek admitted.

"She what?" Meredith asked.

"She wants to meet you," Derek said.

"Oh," Meredith said, pausing for just a moment. "Well, I guess that might not be so bad. Yeah, that could be nice."

"You're not freaked out?" Derek asked in shock.

Meredith smiled. "She's your mother, Derek. We're in love, we're building a relationship with a definite future. I've got meet her at some point, and I'm sure she's eager to meet me."

"I just thought you'd freak out more," Derek marveled. "She'll be thrilled when I tell her."

"So, when is she coming?" Meredith asked.

"Coming?" Derek repeated.

"Yes, when is your mother coming to visit you?" Meredith asked. "How else do you expect me to meet her?"

"Oh, um, well you see," Derek stuttered. "She wanted…well, it just seemed like it might be a good idea…I know it's only late September, so we've got time to work on travel plans, but, well, she thought maybe we could go to her place for Thanksgiving."

"With the whole family?" Meredith asked.

"Yes," Derek said.

"Your four sisters, including the one who hates me?" Meredith asked.

"Yes, and Nancy doesn't hate you, Meredith," Derek assured her.

"And your four brothers-in-law?" Meredith continued.

"Three," Derek corrected. "Nancy's getting a divorce, so her husband obviously won't be around."

"And the fifteen nieces and nephews?" Meredith asked.

"Seventeen now," Derek said. "Beth had her twins last week. But it'll be eighteen by Thanksgiving…Abby's due in three or four weeks."

"Any aunts or uncles coming to this family Thanksgiving?" Meredith asked. "Any cousins to add to the family count?"

"Not this year," Derek said. "At least, not that I know of. You never really know in my family, though. As far as I know, it's my family, Mark, and hopefully you and I."

"Well, I guess it might not be that bad if you and Mark are both there to run interference for me," Meredith admitted.

"You won't need it, they'll love you, Mer," Derek insisted.

"Twenty-six people, Derek," Meredith reminded him. "Someone's bound to not like me."

"I promise, I will disown anyone who doesn't love you by the end of the weekend," Derek assured her. "So, will you come?"

"I don't know, Derek," Meredith said. "There's just so many of them, and I…I don't really know how to do big families. What if I forget someone's name?"

"You'll be fine," Derek insisted. "It'll be fun, even. I can ask the chief for a few extra days off, we could spend a few days in the city, see a few plays, I could show you all my old haunts…we could fly out on Wednesday and stay a whole week if you wanted."

"I…I don't think I can, Derek," Meredith said, her face paling several shades at Derek's last statement.

"Meredith, I know you're nervous, but we…" Derek began, reaching out to grab her hand.

"No!" Meredith exclaimed, shaking off his hand. "I can't…Derek, I can't…I'm sorry, I just can't."

And with that, Derek watched in stunned silence as Meredith stood quickly up and rushed out of the cafeteria, grabbing Izzie as she walked into the room and dragging her back out with her.

* * *

"Easy, Meredith," Izzie laughed as Meredith grabbed her by the elbow and dragged her into the hall. Looking over at her friend, she noticed the tears streaming down her face and heard her labored breathing. "God, Mer, what's going on? Are you alright?"

"Are you off?" Meredith asked, noting the street clothes Izzie was wearing.

"Yeah, my shift just ended," Izzie said in confusion. "Are you okay?"

"I need you to drive me home," Meredith said, moving toward the exit with Izzie in tow.

"Did you and Dr. Shepherd have a fight?" Izzie asked, her voice full of concern. "Because I can go all trailer park on his ass if you need me to."

Meredith shook her head as they walked in silence out into the parking lot.

"Are you sure?" Izzie asked, glancing over her shoulder as she pulled open her car door. "Because he's following us, so if you don't want to talk to him, you might want to hurry up and get in the car."

"Drive," Meredith instructed as soon as they were both buckled in.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk to him?" Izzie asked. "I thought things were going well between you two."

"They are…or they were," Meredith said sadly. "It's complicated."

"Well, as much as I think you should just face whatever's going on and talk about it as soon as possible, as your friend it's my job to point out that if I take you home, he's going to be there minutes after we get there, banging on the front door and bugging the heck out of Lexie," Izzie said. "Do you want to go somewhere else? Cristina's, maybe?"

Meredith thought for a moment, trying to think who she could go to who would understand what was going on in her head. "Molly," she said finally. "Take me to Molly's."

* * *

"Dr. Shepherd?" Lexie asked in surprise as she opened the door and found Derek standing on the front porch.

"Lexie," Derek said, feeling guilty as he noticed just how tired she looked. It was only then that he remembered Meredith telling him that her sister had been working a thirty-six hour shift. "I'm sorry to bother you, I just need to talk to Meredith."

"Well, call her, then," Lexie said. "I'm sorry…that sounded mean. I didn't mean it that way. She's not here. Actually, I thought she was having lunch with you."

"She was," Derek sighed.

Lexie instantly wakened at the look of guilt on Derek's face. Putting her hands on her hips, she stared intently at him. "What the hell did you do to her, Shepherd?"

"Nothing, I swear," Derek insisted, taking a quick step backward.

"What happened?" Lexie asked.

"I think I said something that freaked her out, and she just rushed off," Derek said. "I don't know…I thought she was ready, I really did. Maybe I just pushed too fast."

"What did you say?" Lexie asked.

"I asked her to come home with me at Thanksgiving to meet my family," Derek first. "She seemed fine with it at first, but then she just flipped out when I mentioned that we could stay an extra few days and explore Manhattan."

Lexie sighed. "That doesn't sound like something that would freak her out," she said. "What exactly did you say? I mean, what were the exact words?"

"Um, I think I said something about how we could fly out on Wednesday and stay for a week," Derek said.

"She flipped out right after you said that sentence?" Lexie asked.

Derek nodded as Lexie sighed and leaned heavily against the door frame, thinking for a moment before realization seemed to dawn on her. She stood upright immediately and smacked her forehead with the palm of her hand. "Of course!" she exclaimed.

"What?" Derek asked in confusion.

"This has nothing to do with her wanting or not wanting to meet you family, Derek," Lexie said.

"So what's it about?" he asked.

"Flying."


	8. Warming Up

**A/N:** So, I'm leaving at 4am tomorrow morning, which means this will be the last update for a while. I'll most likely have the next update ready a few days after I return, so look for it probably around the 16th. In the meantime, please review and let me know what you think of the story so far!

* * *

Meredith sighed as she sat on the front steps of Derek's house, clutching her knees to her chest and ignoring the Seattle rain that had already soaked her hair and jacket. Her talk with Molly had convinced her that she needed to talk to Derek as soon as possible, but she hadn't taken into account the possibility that he wouldn't be home when she got there. She knew she should have known better. After all, during the drive over the radio announcer had been going on about a six car pile up not too far from Seattle Grace. Of course he'd still be at the hospital. With her luck, he'd be there all night, performing surgeries and saving lives, leaving Meredith cold and alone on his front porch.

And it was just Meredith's luck that, at the very moment she had decided to call it a night, call someone to come take her home and call Derek in the morning, she had discovered that she couldn't leave. Pulling her cell phone from her pocket, she contemplated who she could call to come pry her from the steps. Cristina would tell her she was an idiot for even wanting to talk to Derek. Alex would laugh at her situation but not really understand. Izzie and Lexie, they walked on eggshells around her as it was, thinking she was going to break at any moment. The last thing she needed was to give them another reason to worry. She knew George was in the middle of a thirty-six hour shift and wouldn't be able to get away from the hospital. She could call Callie, she'd understand the problem, but Meredith had spent so long trying to convince Callie that she was fine and could return to work that she couldn't stand to admit to her that she was wrong. The only person she could think of to call was Molly, but she knew she'd already be home by now. Her morning sickness had been wearing her out, so although Meredith knew she'd come if she called, she figured she'd bothered her sister enough for one night.

_Stupid, defective legs,_ Meredith thought to herself, her therapist's warnings about negative self talk flying out the window. She bit her lower lip to hold back the tears she felt building up in her eyes and pulled her jacket closer around her as she shivered slightly from the cold.

* * *

Derek Shepherd was exhausted. He'd spent most of the afternoon trying to figure out where Meredith could have gone. Just as he was leaving the hospital for the night, he'd been called back in for a massive head trauma from a pile up on the highway. After spending nearly three hours working at a feverish pace to remove clots from the man's brain, Derek had been forced to call time of death. The worst part for him, though, was having to tell the man's wife, to see her grief-stricken face as she clutched his arm, breaking down completely when he said those words that every doctor hates to say, 'Ma'am, I'm so sorry. We did everything we could.' Because to Derek, it was never everything he could have done. If past experiences were any indication, he'd spend the night going over and over the surgery in his head, desperately trying to figure out something, anything that he could have done differently. At least, he figured, it would take his mind off of Meredith, because as much as he hated to admit it, he was terrified by the fact that he couldn't find her.

Parking his car in his drive way and jumping out, Derek thought he must be hallucinating when he saw a small figure sitting on his front steps, shaking from the cold but not making any move to get out of the rain.

"Meredith?" Derek's shocked voice pulled her back to reality. She'd zoned out so completely that she hadn't even seen the headlights as he pulled into the driveway.

"My God, Meredith," Derek muttered as he rushed over and knelt next to her. "You're soaked. What are you doing out here?"

"W…waiting," Meredith stuttered through the shivering and the tears. "I was…w…waiting for you. It wa…wasn't raining…not when I sat down."

Derek laughed slightly. "Well, why didn't you get up when it started? The porch is covered, you know."

"C…can't," Meredith said, dropping her head in shame. "C…can't move the legs…stupid legs."

The smiled dropped from Derek's face as he realized that she literally couldn't move. "Hold on," he said, taking off his jacket and wrapping it around his shoulders before he hurried up to the front door and opened it. Returning to Meredith, he wordlessly scooped her up in his arms and carried her into the house.

After only a moment of hesitation as he considered what to do with her, Derek carried her up the stairs and into the large master bathroom, setting her down on the edge of the large Jacuzzi tub and turning the water on to warm up.

"Are you okay for a few minutes?" Derek asked. Meredith nodded and managed a weak smile for him.

"Okay, I'll be right back," Derek assured her.

Sure enough, after listening to him rustle through his dresser for a few minutes, Derek returned with a pair of sweatpants, an old t-shirt and a sweatshirt.

"We need to get you out of those wet clothes…um…do you need me to help?" Derek asked, not sure how she would react to the idea. This certainly wasn't what he had envisioned when he had thought about the first time he would have her in this part of the new house, but he knew with them, things rarely went as planned.

Meredith wasn't quite sure whether it was the exhaustion, or the pain in her legs, or maybe the effects of the cold blocking rational thought, but she found herself nodding in agreement. Truth be told, she was definitely not ready for him to see her, not like this. As much as she tried not to, as many therapy sessions as she had devoted to the subject, she couldn't help but resent the scars that now marked her body, and Derek's possible reaction to them terrified her.

"Okay then," Derek said, reaching over and gently pulling off her jacket and then lifting her shirt over her head. It took all his self-control to stop the gasp he felt forming in his throat as he took in the reddish lines snaking across her torso. He knew now was definitely not the time to do anything to make Meredith uncomfortable or self-conscious.

"Can you stand up so I can get the pants?" Derek asked nervously as he gently wrapped an arm around Meredith's waist, lifting her to her feet as she steadied herself with a hand on the towel rack. Derek quickly had the buttons of her jeans undone and gently pulled them off. Without a word, he picked her up gently and lowered her into the warm waters of the tub.

"Do you need me to stay?" Derek asked. "I mean, I can leave and then come back if you need help getting up or something."

"I…I think I'm okay now," Meredith whispered, feeling the warmth returning to her body. "Thank you."

"Okay, well, there's a towel here when you're ready, and some dry clothes, too," Derek said. "I'm going to take your clothes downstairs and put them in the dryer for you. Just holler if you need anything, okay?"

* * *

Forty-five minutes later, Derek sat nervously on the edge of his bed, staring at the closed door that led to his bathroom. He wasn't quite sure how much longer he should wait before doing something to ensure that she was still alright in there, so he was relieved when he finally heard movement from within and saw the door open slowly a few moments later.

Meredith emerged, clad in Derek's sweatpants and his Columbia sweatshirt, her damp hair hanging around her shoulder. "Hi," she said softly, nervously playing with ties on the hood of the sweatshirt.

"I've got some soup down in the kitchen," Derek said. "If you're hungry, that is. If you're not, that's fine too. I just figured, it's warm and you're probably still cold, so…"

"Soup would be nice," Meredith said, smiling shyly at him.

Derek nodded as the two of them headed down to the kitchen. He quickly pulled out a bowl and spooned out some of the vegetable soup he'd heated up while she was taking her bath. Placing it in front of her, he smiled as he watched her eagerly eat.

"Good soup?" he asked in amusement.

Meredith nodded. "I had dinner at Molly's…her cooking skills are only slightly better than mine. She can at least make pasta, but we generally just eat pizza and takeout."

Derek shook his head. "One of these days, I am going to teach you to cook," he said.

"I don't know, your kitchen is awfully nice," Meredith said. "I would hate to ruin it."

"The kitchen at your house seems to still be in good shape," Derek observed.

"That's because Izzie never lets me go in there," Meredith said. "Now, Molly's kitchen, on the other hand…well, let's just say we're going to have to repaint the ceiling before her husband comes home."

"Okay, maybe I'll just do all the cooking," Derek laughed.

"That would be good," Meredith agreed.

"Can I ask you a question?" Derek asked.

"Yeah, go ahead," Meredith said.

"How long were you sitting out there before I got here?" Derek asked.

"Um, maybe an hour or two," Meredith said sheepishly. "I'm not really sure…Molly dropped me off. It didn't really feel like that long."

"Why didn't you call me?" Derek asked. "Or at least call someone?"

Meredith sighed. "I don't know," she admitted. "I don't really like to ask for help, you know that. The only one I could think of who wouldn't make a big deal out of it is Molly, and she would have been nearly home by then, so it would have taken her an hour and a half to get here. Besides, it doesn't usually last that long. I figured why bother calling someone if by the time they got out here the legs would probably be fine again. I guess I just didn't factor in how the cold would affect them."

"Does this happen often? The thing with your legs?" Derek asked in concern.

"I wouldn't say often," Meredith said. "Once every week or two, maybe a little less often now. It's usually after I've been sitting in one position for a long time. They just decide they aren't going to work, although it's mostly the right leg that I have problems with. Apparently it's one of the things they're learning about the surgery they did on the leg, that this sort of thing happens. I can usually get them going after a few minutes, or at least as soon as someone helps to my feet and I can remind the legs what they're supposed to do. But it is one of the reasons Callie won't clear me for surgery yet…she says I have to be able to stand still for four hours without them locking up before she'll clear me."

"I'm sorry I wasn't home earlier," Derek said, feeling guilty that he had left her sitting out there for so long. "We had a lot of traumas come in tonight, so I was pretty busy for a while there."

"Derek, you don't have to apologize," Meredith insisted. "You didn't even know I'd be here. I should have called first…I just, I knew that I needed to talk to you, so I came out here."

"Look, if this is about earlier," Derek said. "It's okay. I understand that you're not ready."

"I want to meet your family," Meredith said. "I mean, yeah, the possibility of your other sisters being just like Nancy kind of terrifies me, but they're your family, and they're important to you, so I want to meet them. I just…"

"I know," Derek said. "You don't want to fly."

"Who'd you talk to you?" Meredith asked.

"Excuse me?" Derek asked. "Talk to?"

"Lexie or Callie?" Meredith asked. "Which one did you talk to after I left?"

"Um, Lexie," Derek admitted.

"She told you about the flying thing," Meredith said.

"She did," Derek said. "And it totally makes sense, I didn't even think of it, but I should have."

"It isn't that I don't want to fly," Meredith explained. "I do want to. I want to be able to get on an airplane and fly, just like a regular person…like I used to be able to. I want to have that back. It's not a matter of not wanting it. I actually, physically cannot get on an airplane. I know it's a mental thing, I get that, but it feels physical. The last time I went to an airport, I actually passed out from hyperventilating during the panic attack I had walking through the doors. And I wasn't even flying – I was there to pick up Molly."

"Well, aren't there things that you can do about that?" Derek asked. "I mean, like mental exercises or something?"

"I'm working on it," Meredith said. "My therapist's been helping me, and we're working toward it. I'm just…I'm not ready yet, Derek."

"We don't have to fly," Derek said. "There are other ways to get to Connecticut, you know. It might be fun to drive – I've never really seen the Midwest, you know."

"You want to drive to Connecticut?" Meredith asked. "Doesn't that take too long? Can you get the time off for that?"

"Well, considering I've taken maybe two weeks off in the two and a half years I've worked at Seattle Grace…not to mention the fact that I've worked every single holiday during those two and a half years…I think I can get plenty of time off. We could even rent an RV and make a real vacation out of it."

"Um, Derek?" Meredith giggled. "I think the trailer was quite enough to convince your family that you've dropped out of their social sphere. I'm not sure your sisters' hearts could handle the shock of us pulling up in a giant RV."

"Fine, no RV," Derek agreed. "But what about just driving in car? We could stop along the way for the nights."

"Okay then," Meredith said. "If we're going to Connecticut, you'll need to make me a list of all your family members…I don't want to forget anyone's name."

"Can it wait until morning?" Derek asked, laughing as he noticed Meredith stifling a yawn. "It's pretty late…you could stay here tonight, if you wanted to."

"Well, I guess you do have plenty of room here," Meredith teased.

Derek laughed. "Yeah, um…I still don't actually have furniture in most of the rooms, though. I was thinking you could stay in my room and I'll take the couch."

"Derek, I don't want to impose," Meredith said. "You shouldn't have to sleep on the couch just because of me."

"Meredith, there's certainly no way I'm letting you sleep on the couch, so I'm afraid this time, I'm going to have to put my foot down and say that you don't have a choice," Derek said, trying to sound light as he tried to get her to see things his way.

"Okay," Meredith said. "But you don't have to sleep on the couch. It's not like we've never shared a bed before."

"Are you sure?" Derek asked.

"I'm not having sex with you tonight, if that's what you're asking," Meredith said. "But I don't think either of us should have to sleep on the couch when you have a king sized bed in your room."

* * *

As Derek climbed into bed that night, he couldn't help but smile at the sight of Meredith curled up on the other side of his bed, just as he'd pictured on so many nights since he had moved in. As her light snores began to fill the room, he wondered if he would be out of line to wrap a protective arm around her while she slept.

Deciding it would be best not to risk all the steady progress they'd been making, Derek sighed as he kept his arms to himself and gradually began to fall asleep.

He stirred only slightly as Meredith rolled over in her sleep and rested her head against his chest while she draped her arm loosely over his waist. Instinctively, Derek slipped an arm down around her shoulders, holding her close as he drifted off to sleep, a small smile playing at his lips.


	9. All In The Family

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay in getting this up! Do you ever get that feeling when you come back from vacation and feel like you need a vacation to get over it? Or that everyone else in your office simply forgot how to function while you were gone? Getting back to "normal" is harder than it sounds!

Anyway, enough excuses and on with the story! This chapter starts immediately after the last; it's one that I've been wanting to write for quite some time, exploring more of Derek's history and the things that have happened to him.

* * *

Derek smiled as he woke up to find Meredith sound asleep in his arms. He was relieved to find that it hadn't been a dream, that she really was right there, right where he wanted her for the rest of his life. He silently ran his fingers through her hair, listening to the light snores that filled the room. In spite of the noise that had once kept him up at night, Derek had to admit that he had had the best night of sleep he'd had in more months than he could count.

Hearing the phone ringing down in the kitchen, he reluctantly slipped out of bed, being careful not to disturb Meredith. Hurrying downstairs, he grabbed the cordless phone off the wall just before the answering machine picked up.

"Hello?"

"Ah, Derek, it's so good of you to finally pick up your phone," a female voice said on the other end of the line.

Derek laughed as he carried the phone into the living room and settled in on the couch.

"Hi, Mom," he said. "You do realize it's only 6:30 in the morning here in Seattle, right?"

"It's not my fault you moved to another time zone," Maggie Shepherd said. "It's a perfectly reasonable hour here in Connecticut. In fact, I've been at work for nearly two hours. Besides, you're a doctor, aren't you supposed to be up early?"

"Not on my day off," Derek pointed out.

"Oh," Maggie said guiltily. "Sorry. But how was I supposed to know if you haven't called me in weeks?"

"I'm sorry, Mom," Derek said. "I just got really busy with work and things. I was going to call you today, I really was."

"Of course you were," Maggie said disbelievingly.

"I was," Derek insisted. "I wanted to let you know that Meredith is going to be coming back to Connecticut with me at Thanksgiving."

"Oh, you mean I'll finally get to meet her?" Maggie said. "I was beginning to think that perhaps she didn't really exist."

"And just how would you explain the fact that both Nancy and Kathleen have met her?"

"Kathleen would say anything you asked her to, I can't take her word for it," Maggie argued. "And I have no doubt that there was, at one point, a slutty intern who Nancy met. That doesn't mean she's still around. For all I knew, you were making this relationship up to cover your guilt at throwing your marriage away for a gold digger."

"Mother!" Derek exclaimed.

"Don't get me wrong, Derek, I want you to be happy," Maggie insisted. "But really, I don't know how I feel about this on-off girlfriend of yours. I mean, how can you expect something that started as adultery to become a lasting relationship?"

"Mom, I love her," Derek said. "I love her more than I thought it was possible to love someone. Without her…well, there is no without her for me anymore. That's not an option. So either you and the rest of the family accept her, or…"

"You'd better not be threatening me, Derek," Maggie cautioned.

"Just promise me you'll be nice to her when you meet her, Mom," Derek sighed.

"I'm always nice, Derek, you know that."

"Right," Derek scoffed. "Which is why you made Addison cry the first time you met her? Or why you refused to allow Tom in your house for an entire year after he and Kathleen got married? Or why you referred to Nick as 'that real estate guy' the entire five years he and Nancy were together?"

"I'm protective, Derek," Maggie argued. "There's nothing wrong with that. I'm looking out for my family. I just want you all to be happy."

"Well, Meredith makes me happy, so you're just going to have to get used to it," Derek said. "And so help me, if you do anything to scare her off while we're visiting…"

"Don't you dare use that tone with me, young man," Maggie interrupted. "I can and will return the gift that's sitting on my kitchen table."

"Mom, threatening me with my birthday presents stopped working when I was a teenager," Derek laughed.

"Fine, well, I'd better go, I'm at work," Maggie said. "I just wanted to check in. I really am glad that I'll finally get to meet this girlfriend of yours."

"I love you, Mom," Derek said.

"I love you too, dear," Maggie said. "Have a good day."

"You too," Derek said. "Try not to be too hard on the kids today."

"You take all the fun out of it, Derek," Maggie laughed. "I'll talk to you soon."

"Bye, Mom," Derek said, hitting the 'end' button to hang up the phone.

"Am I causing problems?"

Derek jumped slightly at the unexpected voice behind him. "Good Lord, Mer, you scared me," he laughed.

"I'm sorry," Meredith said quickly. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop…I just woke up and heard you down here, so I came down…and I was going to go back upstairs, I really was…but I heard my name, and I know that doesn't give me the right to listen in, but I just couldn't help it…and I need to know, because it sounded like you were arguing with your mom…am I causing problems in your family, Derek?"

"Come here," Derek said softly, holding out his arms and motioning for Meredith to join him on the couch. As soon as she was settled in his arms, Derek kissed her forehead and continued. "You are absolutely not causing problems. My mom's just…well, she's always been a little overprotective. That's all this is, just Mom being a mom. Trust me, as soon as she meets you, and she sees how amazing you are and how happy you make me, she'll welcome you with open arms. I promise."

"You can't promise that, Derek," Meredith said. "You can't guarantee that your mom is going to like me. And what about your sisters? I mean, Nancy already hates me…what are the others going to think?"

"I know my mom, Meredith," Derek said. "So, while you're right that I can't absolutely guarantee that's how it will go, I'm fairly certain it'll be that way. She's like this any time one of her kids brings home someone new. And my sisters, well, Nancy's the toughest. She can be the most caring person – if she likes you, she'd go to the ends of the earth and back to help you. But the problem with Nancy is that she doesn't really like all that many people. She's got these walls that she puts up, and she doesn't like to let people in. She's sarcastic and mean and sometimes downright rude, but that's just who she is. To be honest, if she wasn't my sister, I probably wouldn't have much to do with her, but she is my sister, and even if I don't always like the way she acts, I love her."

"I think I can handle one sister hating me," Meredith said. "But how are the others going to react?"

"Well, I think we've established that Kathleen adores you," Derek pointed out. "Abby's a sweetheart. She can be a bit catty sometimes, but she basically likes everybody, so I don't think you'll have a problem with her. Beth might be a bit tougher; she's got the whole overprotective mother thing going on, even though she's younger than I am. Give her a little time, though, and she'll adore you too. It'll help a lot that Mark likes you, because Beth and Mark have always been pretty close."

"Okay, but if they all hate, you have to protect me, because I don't want anyone killing me in the middle of the night," Meredith teased.

"You've got a deal," Derek laughed.

"So, other than the fact that she's overprotective, tell me about your mom," Meredith said.

"What do you want to know?" Derek asked.

"I don't know," Meredith admitted. "I just feel like, you know all about my mother, and Thatcher, and you know all sorts of things about my childhood that no one else knows. I just want to know the same stuff…what's your mom like, what sort of childhood did you have, stuff like that."

"You want details," Derek surmised.

"And no leaving out any secret wives this time," Meredith teased.

"You wound me," Derek laughed, placing a hand over his heart in a melodramatic fashion. "Let's see…well, my mom comes from a big Irish Catholic family in Manhattan, as did my dad. Mom's the principal at the local high school in our town in Connecticut."

"The same high school you went to?" Meredith asked.

"Yes, but she wasn't the principal when I went there," Derek said. "Back then, she was just a teacher. She taught biology and chemistry for nearly twenty years before she went into the administration side of things."

"I guess science runs in your family," Meredith observed. "Was your dad into science as well?"

"No," Derek said, his voice suddenly become very quiet. "Dad was definitely not into science."

"Derek?" Meredith asked cautiously. "You can talk to me about him, you know. You can talk to me about anything. I don't always have to be the one who needs supporting…I think maybe I could do supportive pretty well too, if you want to talk about it."

"You're rambling again."

"Sorry."

Derek nodded and took a deep breath. "He was a construction worker," he said softly, holding Meredith's hand tightly in his for support. "He finished high school, but never went to college. He was one of nine kids, and my grandparents didn't make a ton of money, so college was out of the question, they just couldn't afford it. He was a hard worker, though. He never complained and he was proud of the work he did. Sometimes, I think he felt guilty that he didn't make more money, just because my mother came from a family that had so much more than his family ever had. When they got married, my mom's parents bought them a brownstone on the Upper West Side. Granted, it wasn't the greatest part of Manhattan back then, but still, it was a lot more than his family could afford to give them. So I think he sometimes felt badly about that, that he wasn't able to provide that for us on his own…but he was always happy around my sisters and I. He worked long hours, but he always made time for us. We always knew, nothing was more important to our dad than us."

"He sounds like a great guy," Meredith commented.

"He really was," Derek agreed. "The house we're going to, the one my mom lives in now in Connecticut, he actually built that house himself. They wanted to have a place with a yard, the whole white picket fence, American dream thing. It was supposed to be a weekend house until they retired, and then they were going to move out there full-time. After Dad died, though, I think it was just too hard for Mom to be in Manhattan. Too many memories or something like that. So, she moved us out to Connecticut full-time about six months after he passed."

"I don't want to push or anything," Meredith said slowly. "I just…what happened to your dad, Derek?"

Derek sighed. "To be honest, I don't really know a lot of the details. He was working on an apartment complex in Brooklyn and there was some sort of accident. The building…it just collapsed. Eight workers died. I didn't really ask questions, so I don't know exactly what happened, but I know the owners ended up paying my mom and the other widows a pretty huge settlement, so I guess there was probably some sort of negligence involved."

"Oh, Derek," Meredith whispered, reaching out to wipe the tears from his face. She couldn't remember ever seeing him really cry before, and the sight of it was breaking her heart.

"I'll never forget the look on my mom's face when she called us all into the living room to tell us," he continued. "I never once saw her cry, not even at the funeral. It might have been easier if she had. Instead, she just looked…I don't even know how to describe it…empty, I guess. Like a piece of her was missing and she wasn't sure how to fill the hole. Even now, all these years later, I can still see it sometimes. She still gets that look from time to time."

"She lost her soul mate," Meredith observed quietly.

"I thought you didn't believe in that stuff," Derek said questioningly.

"I didn't," Meredith admitted. "I never had anything in my life to make me even want to believe. Then, out of nowhere, you came along…I guess you might say you turned my world upside down. And you made me believe in all of it…soul mates, fairy tales, happily ever after. You made believe."

"Even after everything we've been through?" Derek asked.

"_Especially_ after everything we've been through," Meredith emphasized. "Derek, if soul mates didn't exist, if there was no such thing as 'meant to be'…well, don't take this the wrong way, but we definitely wouldn't be where we are today. I'd have written you off a long time ago, probably the moment Addison walked into this hospital. And you, well, you'd have been able to let me go, to work it out with Addison, or to fall in love with Rose. But we couldn't do those things, even if we thought we wanted to. I don't know if everyone finds their soul mate, or if everyone even has a soul mate, but I do know that if you do find that person, the one who makes your whole world flip, who fills a whole in your life you didn't even know existed...when you find that person, you can't let go, you can't move on, no matter what happens."

"My mom's never moved on," Derek said. "It's been 28 years, but she's never moved on."

"Tell me about your dad, Derek," Meredith asked. "Not how he died…tell me about how he lived."

Derek smiled wistfully. "He was an amazing man. I wish you could have met him, Meredith. On the surface, he was a man's man…he went to local bar every Friday night to hang out with his brothers and his friends, but he'd always be home before my mom went to bed. He loved sports, especially baseball. That was our thing; he took me to games at Yankee Stadium every chance he got. Kathleen usually went too – she never really went for the girly stuff. She was always a bit of a tomboy, and we both loved going to those games with Dad. He'd have never let it get out to the guys he worked with, but Dad had this huge soft spot when it came to my sisters. I can still remember laughing at him when I'd find him sitting on the floor with Abby and her teddy bears, having a tea party, or helping Beth dress her dolls, or taking Nancy to the theater. He had this big jar that he kept in his closet, and he'd throw all his change in it every day, and then every three months he'd cash it in, and use the money to take my four sisters shopping."

"Just him and the girls?" Meredith asked.

"It was quite a sight," Derek agreed. "My dad wasn't exactly a small guy – you couldn't be, not in his profession. So to see him carrying Abby and having the other three trailing along behind him…I used to ask him why he did all that girly stuff, and he'd just laugh and tell me that one day, I'd fall in love and maybe have a few daughters of my own, and all that girly stuff would be the best thing in the world."

"Did your dad teach you how to fish?" Meredith asked.

"No, he didn't," Derek admitted. "My uncle Joe taught me to fish when I was in high school. My dad was one of nine kids, five boys and four girls. After he died, my uncles tried to fill his shoes, I guess. They took me camping, talked to me about girls, they taught me how to drive a car, hammer a nail, change the oil…all those things they thought a guy should know how to do. And they did a great job, they were always there – birthday parties, graduations, everything. They tried to do everything my dad would've done, but…"

"But it just wasn't the same," Meredith filled in.

"No, it wasn't," Derek agreed. "It wasn't their fault, of course…they just weren't him. Uncle John always tried to take me to baseball games, but I'd never go. I actually haven't been back to Yankee Stadium since the last game my dad took me to. In college, Kathleen and her husband tried to drag me out, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. She even tried again when I was there over the summer, because they're going to tear it down at the end of the season. I probably should have gone…I guess it's too late now, there's only playoff games left. I missed my chance to go back."

Meredith just nodded and laid her head on his shoulder as an idea began swirling around in her mind.

"So," she said slowly, a coy smile playing at her lips as she changed the subject. "What's this I heard about a birthday?"


	10. Don't Make A Big Deal

**A/N: **Sorry this chapter is a little bit shorter than usual - I think it still packs a punch as far as content is concerned, and I wanted to get it up before you all had to wait any longer. Updates may be a bit slower for a few days - I'm starting jury duty tomorrow, and I tend to get picked for trials, so if that happens, I sadly won't have as much time to write as I normally do. Fortunately, I'm one of the few people I know who actually enjoy jury duty, so at least I won't be bored!

* * *

"Lexie! Have you seen my hairbrush?" Meredith shouted down the stairs while she was getting ready for her latest date with Derek. It had been over two months since they had officially gotten back together, and even Meredith was surprised at how smoothly things seemed to be going for them. To her, it felt as if maybe, just maybe things were finally falling into place in her life. She just wished she could stop wondering when the other shoe was going to drop.

"Sorry, I borrowed it this morning," Lexie said, sticking her head in the door and holding out the brush. "I've got to run now, Pierce is here. You alright by yourself?"

"I'll be fine, Lexie," Meredith assured her. "Besides, Derek will be here soon, so it's not like I'll even be here that long."

"Alright, well, have fun tonight," Lexie said as she dashed down the stairs. Meredith cringed slightly as she heard her crash into a table. "I'm alright!" she shouted up the stairs.

Meredith shook her head as she heard the door slam shut behind her sister. Some days she wondered how a girl as accident-prone as Lexie managed to hold her hands so steady in the OR.

When the doorbell rang a few minutes later, Meredith smiled as she headed down the stairs, assuming that Lexie had, once again, either forgotten her keys or managed to lock them in the car.

"Cristina?" she asked in surprise as she opened the door. "What are you doing here? Everyone else is at the hospital, and I've got a date with Derek in just a few minutes."

"McDreamy can wait," Cristina said, pushing past Meredith into the living room, ignoring her friend's protests. "Now, red or blue?"

"Um, red or blue what?" Meredith asked, quickly shutting the door and following Cristina into the living room.

Cristina sighed as she reached into the large shopping bag she was carrying and pulled out a red top and a blue top, along with a pair of skinny jeans. "Red or blue?" she repeated.

"It depends," Meredith said. "What are you wearing it for?"

"Oh, come on," Cristina snapped. "It's not rocket science, Meredith, just pick one."

"They're completely different looks," Meredith said. "I can't pick unless you tell me where you'll be wearing this outfit."

"Oh for crying out loud," Cristina sighed. "This isn't a night with the president, Mer, it's just dinner with coffee shop guy."

"Coffee shop guy?" Meredith asked in confusion. "Hold it right there…Cristina Yang, are you going on a date?"

"It is not a date," Cristina insisted.

"What is it then?" Meredith asked.

"Just dinner," Cristina said. "It is just dinner."

"Uh huh," Meredith mused. "And who'll be paying for this dinner?"

"I guess he is," Cristina said. "But that doesn't make it a date, I buy your dinner sometimes."

"Are you going to kiss him?" Meredith asked.

"That is none of your business," Cristina said.

"You are so going out on a date," Meredith laughed.

"It is not a date," Cristina insisted.

"Is to," Meredith argued.

"Fine, it's a date," Cristina admitted. "Whatever. Don't make a big deal. Just pick a damn shirt, will you?"

Meredith was about to make another comment, but was interrupted by the doorbell. "That's probably Derek," she said. "Go upstairs and put the jeans and the red one on, I want to see it. I'll be up in just a minute."

Cristina nodded and trudged up the stairs, mumbling the whole way about the ridiculousness of the evening.

"Hi," Meredith said as she opened the door. "Why don't you come in? I'm going to be a little while longer."

"Is everything alright?" Derek asked.

"Oh yeah, things are fine," Meredith said. "Cristina's just upstairs having a bit of a fashion emergency."

Derek looked at Meredith in confusion. "Mer, I'm fairly certain that Cristina isn't the type of woman who has fashion emergencies."

"Keep your eyes open, I'm fairly certain the apocalypse is near," Meredith laughed. "Just wait in the living room, I'll try to make this quick."

* * *

"This is a first date, right?" Meredith asked as she walked into her bedroom to find Cristina looking at her reflection in the mirror.

"Of course it is," Cristina said.

"Wear the blue," Meredith said. "The red's too low cut for a first date. And please tell me you brought other shoes."

"What's wrong with my shoes?" Cristina asked indignantly.

"You can't wear sneakers with an outfit like that," Meredith said, stepping into her closet and digging through a pile of shoes. "Here," she said, producing a pair of black stiletto boots. "Wear these, I don't get any use out of them these days."

"I'm going to kill myself in these," Cristina grumbled, pulling off the red shirt and quickly pulling on the blue. "Better?" she asked as she slipped into the boots.

"Much better," Meredith agreed. "So, tell me all about coffee shop guy."

"No," Cristina said. "We don't do the talking thing, remember?"

"Fine," Meredith said, pulling out her cell phone and dialing a number.

"What are you doing?" Cristina asked.

"Calling Izzie to let her know that you want her to come over and do your hair and makeup," Meredith said. "Unless you'd rather just talk to me."

"You wouldn't dare," Cristina hissed.

"Hi Izzie," Meredith said cheerily. "How's work?"

"Fine!" Cristina shouted. "Hang up the damn phone and we'll talk."

"Got to run, Izzie," Meredith said. "Cristina's having a breakdown. Talk to you later."

"What do you want to know?" Cristina asked.

"Does he have a name?" Meredith asked.

"Rick Dalley."

"And how did you two meet?" Meredith asked. "Obviously, there's a coffee shop involved somewhere along the line."

"We met at that coffee shop down the street from my apartment," Cristina said.

"Ooh, the place with the amazing blueberry scones?" Meredith asked.

"Yes," Cristina said. "Now, stop interrupting or I won't talk."

"Sorry," Meredith muttered.

"Anyway, I was on cardio that day," Cristina said. "And that stupid fancy-schmancy coffee maker Burke spent so much money on broke, _again_. So I had to go out of my way to get coffee at that shop, which meant that I was running late. I ran into him on my way out the door."

"Ran into him?" Meredith asked.

"Spilled my coffee all down the front of his white shirt," Cristina said. "I gave him my number so he could call me when he had the dry cleaning bill and then I left. We didn't even have an actual conversation, but two days later he called and asked me out. He called every day for a week before I said yes just to get him to shut up."

"When was this?" Meredith asked.

"Three weeks ago," Cristina said.

"What the hell took you so long to go on the first date?" Meredith laughed. "I mean, three weeks?"

"We both have very busy schedules," Cristina said. "He understands."

"What does he do that makes him so understanding?" Meredith asked. "Is he a surgeon?"

"He is," Cristina confirmed.

"Do I know him?" Meredith asked. "Does he work at Seattle Grace?"

Cristina shook her head. "Mercy West."

"What was he doing at a coffee shop near your apartment?" Meredith asked. "That's no where near Mercy West."

"His place was being treated for termites," Cristina said. "He was staying with his brother for a few days."

"I see," Meredith said. "And let me guess, he's a cardio attending, right?"

"Wrong," Cristina said. "Do you really think I'm that predictable?"

"Um, yes," Meredith said.

"I think I should be insulted," Cristina pouted.

"Let's look at the evidence," Meredith said. "You've had what, two or three serious relationships in your life? You dated Colin Marlow for three years. You nearly married Preston Burke. You seem to have a thing for cardio guys."

"And look where that got me," Cristina said. "Besides, I don't need to date a cardio god now, I'm only 4 days away from being on my way to becoming one myself."

"Okay, so he's not in cardio," Meredith said. "What exactly does the good doctor specialize in? He is still an attending, I'm guessing."

"You suck at guessing," Cristina smirked. "He's a fourth year resident, thank you very much. He's specializing in pediatric surgery."

"Pediatrics?" Meredith asked in shock. "Who are you and what have you done with Cristina Yang?"

"Oh shut up and zip the back of this shirt up, would you?" Cristina said.

* * *

Derek sat in the living room, listening to Meredith and Cristina moving around upstairs and wondering just what the two of them were up to.

After what seemed like hours, Derek's wait was interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell. He heard the noise upstairs increase almost immediately, which only piqued his curiosity further. Assuming it was just one of Meredith's roommates who had forgotten their keys, Derek walked into the entryway and opened the door.

"Can I help you?" Derek asked as he looked at the unfamiliar man now standing on Meredith's front porch.

"I'm looking for Cristina," the man said. "Is she here?"

"Um, I think she's upstairs right now, but I can let her know that you're here," Derek said as he turned toward the stairs, only to come face to face with Cristina.

"Rick, that's McDreamy," Cristina said as she pushed past him. "Don't talk to him, he's an ass."

"Hey, that's my boyfriend you're talking about!" Meredith protested as she joined Cristina in the entryway.

"Sorry, Mer, boyfriend or not, I still think he's a pompous ass," Cristina said. "Come on, Rick, let's go."

"Is Cristina ever going to think I'm anything other than an ass?" Derek asked as Meredith stood in the doorway watching Cristina and Rick drive away on his motorcycle.

"Probably not," Meredith shrugged. "But it's Cristina, she doesn't like anyone, so I wouldn't take it too personally."

"She likes you," Derek said.

"What can I say?" Meredith said. "She's my person. We get each other…well, sometimes we get each other. And she doesn't hate you, which is good. She's just sort of ambivalent, that's all. If she hated you, you'd really know it."

* * *

"It's time, it's time, it's finally time!" Cristina shouted as she waltzed into Meredith's kitchen the following Tuesday.

Izzie laughed as she grabbed another mug and poured Cristina a cup of coffee. "Not that you need the caffeine," she remarked as she handed the mug to Cristina.

"Oh come on, Barbie," Cristina scoffed. "Today of all days I might excuse you being perky, so perk up a little. Today is the first day of the rest of our careers!"

"Only you would get this excited about declaring," Alex grumbled as he trudged into the kitchen, still barely awake.

"Where's Meredith?" Cristina asked as she looked around. "Don't tell me I've got to wake her up."

"It's five in the morning," Lexie whined as she walked into the kitchen, heading straight for the coffee pot. "Sane people sleep in when they don't have to get up at this hour. Meredith is sane."

"No she's not, she's upstairs talking on her phone," Alex pointed out. As if to prove the point, Meredith came up from behind him, lightly pushing him out of her way as she made her way into the kitchen, her phone still pressed firmly to her ear.

"No, Mike, I need two for both," Meredith said, her voice dripping with frustration.

"Who's she talking to?" Cristina asked, earning confused shrugs from the other residents.

Meredith sighed heavily at whatever she heard on the other end of the line. "Look, I didn't want to have to bring it up, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to call in the holidays...let's say, one Thanksgiving and that awful weekend when your mother showed up unexpectedly."

"What the hell is she taking about?" Alex asked.

"Don't look at me," Cristina said dismissively. "I don't know what's going on."

"Mike, I've never asked you for anything for what I did, and I wouldn't ask now if it wasn't ridiculously important," Meredith said, still on the phone. "Yes, I know what I'm asking is a lot, but I also know you can pull it off if you really want to. Just give me yours, you don't even like New York."

"You will?" Meredith said excitedly. "Mike, you're the greatest. I'll give you a call to work out the details if they take the pennant. Thank you so much."

"Who's Mike?" Cristina asked as Meredith hung up the phone.

"Just a guy I used to work with in Boston," Meredith shrugged.

"And what exactly is Mike giving you that's so important?" Lexie asked.

Meredith smiled. "The perfect birthday present for Derek."

* * *

"Are they out yet?" Debbie asked as she walked up behind the nurses' station where Meredith, Lexie and George were waiting for their friends to return from signing their official specialty declaration forms.

"Nope," Meredith said. "I hope they're not fighting or something…because I think if Hahn refuses to sign off on Cristina's forms, well, Cristina just might lose it in there."

"Hahn wouldn't really refuse, would she?" George asked nervously, definitely not excited at the prospect of dealing with a devastated Cristina.

"I wouldn't put it past her," Callie said, shaking her head as she joined the group. "I don't get it sometimes…Erica's a really nice person, but she just seems to have this rough spot when it comes to Cristina."

"No, she has to sign," Meredith insisted. "Because if she doesn't, I may just have to have to start sharing my therapist with Cristina, and I know neither of us wants that to happen."

"Ooh, here they come," Debbie said, excitedly motioning to the now open conference room door at the end of the hall.

"Well?" Meredith and Lexie asked in unison as Izzie, Alex and Cristina approached them.

"Cardio, baby," Cristina said, something almost akin to a smile playing at her lips.

"Pediatrics," Izzie said excitedly. "I know you guys think I'm going to get burned out, and I appreciate your concern, I really do. It's just…I'd rather do something I love for a few years, than do something I only sort of love for the rest of my career. Besides, if worse comes to worse, I've still got the clinic."

"I'm happy for you, Iz," Meredith said, quickly hugging her friend. "And Alex?"

"Neonatal," Alex muttered, looking down at his feet as though he were afraid to see everyone's reaction.

"Come again, Karev?" Callie asked.

"I said neonatal, alright?" Alex snapped. "Neonatal."

Meredith grinned broadly. "I knew it," she said happily. "Congratulations, Alex. You're going to be great in neonatal."

"Yeah, well, I'd have been great in anything," Alex smirked as Meredith smacked him on the shoulder before hugging him.

"I'm disappointed, Karev, very disappointed," Mark said as he, Derek and Erica Hahn approached the group. "I thought you were plastics all the way, man."

Alex shrugged. "Things change, Dr. Sloan," he said. "I guess I wanted a little more out of my career than silicone and cappuccinos."

"Ouch," Derek laughed.

"Yang," Erica said, still somewhat harshly. "Get an intern to prep Mrs. Richardson in 4212, then go scrub in. We start at one sharp, don't be late."

"Yes, Dr. Hahn," Cristina said happily, as both women turned and walked away from the group.

"Does she seem abnormally…well, not happy, but maybe less bitter lately?" Lexie asked as they watched Cristina hurry down the hall.

Meredith shrugged. "She goes through cycles, I think," she commented. "Enjoy it while it lasts."

* * *

"I've got some time before my next surgery," Derek commented to Meredith as the group gradually drifted off to carry on with the day. "Care to join me for lunch?"

Meredith glanced at her watch and sighed. "I wish I could, but Molly's going to be here to pick me up in about five minutes. We've got a lot of work to do this afternoon."

"What sort of work?" Derek asked.

Meredith grinned slightly. "Well, you'd be very proud…I'm going to be domestic. I'm in charge of repainting the kitchen, cleaning the windows and doing all the laundry. Molly's in charge of vacuuming, dusting, making the beds when I finish the laundry and doing the dishes. Then tomorrow, her mother-in-law is coming over to make a bunch of dishes that she's going to freeze so Molly can just heat them up – she's actually got an entire freezer just for that. Eric fills it up before he deploys, and then when it runs low, Mrs. Thompson comes over and fills it up again. When she's done, Molly and I are going to clean the kitchen, top to bottom. That house is going to sparkle."

Derek laughed. "Sounds like quite the enterprise. What's the occasion?"

"Eric's coming home soon," Meredith said. "We don't know exactly when yet. They usually don't get a specific day until just a few days in advance, but they've told her it should be sometime in the next two weeks."

"So you've got to hide how messy your sister is when she's away?" Derek teased.

"Molly isn't messy," Meredith insisted. "Really all we need to hide are the smoke marks on the ceiling from the time we tried to make lasagna a few months ago. The rest is really just to give Molly something to do so she doesn't go crazy in anticipation - after all, we are dealing with pregnancy hormones."


	11. Surprises

**A/N:** First of all, I am so sorry for taking so long to get this chapter up. Second, I want to offer another apology - this chapter is quite a bit shorter than usual, and I really don't think it's one of my best, so I'm sorry if it doesn't live up to expectations. I just really wanted to get something up for you all who have been so loyal to this story. This chapter is a transition, moving us into some of the really interesting things I want to get into starting with the next chapter.

And as a warning: updates will probably be slower than usual for a few weeks. I'm serving on a jury right now, and it's a very big criminal case, so I'm having to devote a lot of attention to that, and I don't have any of the downtime I usually have during the week to write!

* * *

"Okay, spill," Meredith said, walking up behind Cristina as she stood near the nurses' station one morning a few weeks later, startling her slightly.

"Good Lord, you almost gave me a heart attack," Cristina snapped. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"I wanted to talk to you," Meredith said. "And you wouldn't answer my calls, so I thought I'd just go straight to the source. So, tell me all about last night."

"No," Cristina said, quickly grabbing her charts and walking away.

"I don't want to have to do this," Meredith said as she hurried after Cristina.

"Do what?" Cristina asked.

"Blackmail you again," Meredith said. "I'm your person, you should be able to talk to be without a threat over your head, but if you won't, I'm not beneath it, just remember that."

"You've got nothing to blackmail me with," Cristina argued.

"So you wouldn't mind if I went over there and told Debbie and Olivia that you had a hot date last night?" Meredith asked mischievously.

Cristina sighed as she grabbed Meredith's arm and pulled her into an empty on call room.

"Are you trying to destroy my reputation?" she hissed.

"No, I just want to know how your date was," Meredith said. "I suppose I could just call over to Mercy West and ask Rick."

"There's nothing to talk about," Cristina insisted.

"So it didn't go well?" Meredith asked. "I mean, this was what, the fourth time you've been out with him in two weeks?"

"He's just too damn confusing for me," Cristina said. "I mean, the man spends his days working with snot-nosed brats, yet his motorcycle is more bad-ass than mine. And he has a tattoo, Meredith. A freaking tattoo. Not some sissy tattoo, either. The man has a cobra on his arm. What the hell? I mean, one minute I think he's just another sappy guy, an Izzie-type, and then the next minute he's all hard core again. I mean, did you know he doesn't even want kids? He works on them all day, but he doesn't want them? I don't get him."

"You've talked about kids?" Meredith asked incredulously. "In four dates, you've already talked about more than you ever talked about with Burke?"

"It's weird, right?" Cristina asked. "I don't think I'm going to see him again."

"Really?" Meredith asked. "So you don't already have another date set up?"

"Okay, so maybe one more date," Cristina said. "But then I'm done."

"You like him," Meredith laughed.

"I do not," Cristina insisted.

"But you're going to see him again," Meredith said.

"Only because I can't figure him out," Cristina said. "Then we're done."

"Sure you are," Meredith laughed as Cristina walked away from her. "You just keep telling yourself that."

* * *

Meredith smiled as she slipped into Derek's office. She knew he was still in surgery, but she figured she'd surprise him when he finished. She still hadn't let on that she'd found out today was his birthday – he'd refused to give her the date when she'd questioned him a few weeks earlier, other than to tell her it was soon, and he didn't want any big deal made of it. Meredith had quickly figured out, though, that there was an advantage to being on good terms with at least one of Derek's sisters, as it hadn't taken any more than a five minute phone call to get the information out of Kathleen.

Settling into Derek's desk chair, Meredith smiled to herself as she looked at the pictures sitting on his desk. She'd never noticed before, but she was in three of the four pictures sitting there. The fourth was a photo of Derek and his family at what appeared to be the wedding of one of his sisters. Picking it up, Meredith tried in vain to figure out who everyone was. Sighing, she wondered just how she was going to manage learning all those names when she met Derek's family the following month.

"Nice looking bunch, aren't we?" a male voice asked from the doorway.

Meredith smiled as she looked up. "Well, I wasn't exactly looking at you, Mark," she laughed.

"You wound me, Grey," Mark pouted as he flopped down on the couch. "So, you getting nervous about meeting the clan?"

"About meeting them, not really," Meredith said. "About remembering all of their names? Absolutely."

"There are quite a few, aren't there?" Mark laughed. "Good luck with that one."

"Which one is the one getting married in this picture?" Meredith asked, turning the photograph so Mark could see it.

"That's Beth," Mark said with a smile. "She's my favorite. You'll like her."

"She the one with the ridiculous number of kids, right?" Meredith asked.

"If by ridiculous you mean seven, then yes," Mark said. "She just had twins last month."

"I'm never going to be able to figure this all out," Meredith complained. "And then they're going to hate me because I mix up their kids' names."

"They're not going to hate you," Mark assured her. "But don't let Derek fool you, they might not be all that nice to you at first, either."

"What do you mean?" Meredith asked nervously.

"Well, the Shepherds are somewhat overprotective, especially Maggie. They tend to be a bit, um, harsh, when one of their own brings home someone new," Mark admitted. "They're really great people, I swear, they just might take a while to warm up to you."

"Great," Meredith sighed. "So, what are you doing in Derek's office, anyway?"

"I could ask you the same question," Mark replied.

"I asked you first," Meredith retorted.

"The couch in my office sucks," Mark shrugged. "So when I want to sit on a couch, I use Derek's."

"And you suddenly felt like sitting on a couch this afternoon?" Meredith asked skeptically.

"Well, I may have also wanted to give your boyfriend a hard time," Mark admitted. "You know, tell him how he's getting really old, things like that."

"Teasing him on his birthday is not nice," Meredith scolded. "Besides, you're older than he is, so you really shouldn't be talking."

"I can't believe he actually told you that today's his birthday," Mark said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"He didn't," Meredith said.

"And yet somehow you know," Mark pointed out.

"I asked Kathleen," Meredith said.

"You talk to Kathy?" Mark asked. "I didn't know that."

"I wouldn't say we're best friends, but yeah, I talk to her," Meredith said.

"So, what exactly did you get him?" Mark asked. "Or did you actually listen when he said he didn't want presents?"

"Oh, I definitely got him a present," Meredith said, smiling broadly. "And I suck at gift-giving, but I'm fairly certain I hit this one out of the park, so to speak."

"What did you get?" Mark asked.

"Like I'd tell you," Meredith scoffed.

"Tell him what?" Derek asked, standing in the doorway of his office.

"What she got you for your birthday," Mark told him. "But apparently it's good."

"Oh, it's good," Meredith assured them. "Now go away, Mark, so I can give it to him."

"It's that kind of present?" Mark laughed. "Are you sure I can't watch?"

"Pull your mind out of the gutter, Sloan," Meredith admonished him as he headed out of the room. "And close the door behind you!"

"So, what exactly is this big present?" Derek asked as he sat down on his couch and watched Meredith twirling in his desk chair.

"You want it now?" Meredith asked.

"Yes," Derek said. "And it's my birthday, so aren't I supposed to get what I want?"

"I suppose so," Meredith said, smiling as she stood up and walked over to the couch, pulling a thin white envelope out of the back pocket of her jeans. "Here it is."

Taking the envelope out of her hands, Derek glanced at it in confusion. "This is it?" he asked. "The big present is this envelope?"

"No, silly, it's what's inside the envelope," Meredith laughed. "You know, if you don't want it, I'm sure I can find a dozen people who'd be thrilled to have it just by walking out that door."

Derek laughed and ran his finger along the edge to break the seal. Reaching into the envelope, he pulled out four long, rectangular slips of paper. When Derek finally realized just what he was looking at, his jaw dropped.

"Meredith…" he muttered. "Oh my God."

"Do you like it?" Meredith asked nervously. "I mean, you said you hadn't been back…and I thought, well, here's your last chance, right? If you don't want them, I guess I can just send them to Kathleen and Tom…but I just thought it might be something you'd like."

"Mer, it's perfect," Derek whispered. "But how the hell did you manage to get World Series tickets? I mean, Kathleen said she and Tom stood in line for hours and couldn't even get nosebleed seats."

"Yeah, well, I called in a favor or two," Meredith said nonchalantly. "It wasn't that big of a deal."

"So what'd she get you?" Mark asked as he burst back through the door. "I couldn't hear from the other side of the door."

Derek smiled and held up the tickets for Mark to see.

"Crap," Mark muttered. "How…my God, Grey, what'd you do, sleep with the commissioner to get these? I mean, I enhanced the wives of two Yankee starters and even that didn't give me enough strings to pull to get tickets!"

"Guess I'm just better connected than you are, Mark," Meredith smirked.

"No, seriously Grey, how did you these?" Mark asked as he pulled the tickets out of Derek's hand to examine them. "Derek, did you even look at these? Home plate, man!"

"Home plate?" Derek asked in shock, grabbing the tickets back from Mark. "Meredith, these are…these must have cost a fortune!"

"Well, I didn't exactly pay for them," Meredith admitted. "As I said, I just called in a few favors."

"From who, Yogi Berra?" Mark asked. "Come on, spill it, Grey."

"Alright, fine," Meredith conceded. "My friend Mike is vice president in charge of public affairs at Major League Baseball. Those are his seats."

"He just gave you his seats?" Derek asked.

"What can I say?" Meredith shrugged. "I can be very persuasive, especially when someone owes me a few favors."

* * *

"I still can't believe you managed to get World Series tickets," Derek said, shaking his head as he and Meredith walked into her house that evening.

"What can I say?" Meredith grinned. "I'm very resourceful. It should be a good couple of games, too. I think you'll really enjoy it."

"You're…you're not coming too?" Derek asked.

"Derek, you're already taking a ridiculous amount of time off to drive me to Connecticut in November," Meredith pointed out. "I don't have any way to get there. You can take whoever you want, but I sort of thought maybe you'd like to take Kathleen? I mean, you don't have to, it's just…you said you two used to go with your dad, so I thought maybe it would be, I don't know, therapeutic or something to go back together."

"Therapeutic to spend time with my therapist sister?" Derek teased.

"Well, I wasn't going to say anything, seeing as it's your birthday…" Meredith joked.

"I think it'll be nice to go with Kathleen," Derek agreed. "I just feel badly that you went to all the trouble to get the tickets, and you can't even go."

"Don't worry about me, Derek," Meredith insisted. "Trust me, it's fine."

"You don't like baseball, do you?" Derek guessed. "That's why it's fine, isn't it? How do I not even know that you don't like sports?"

Meredith laughed at Derek's anxiety. "Derek, I like sports," she said. "Probably more than you do, actually. I'm not upset, though, because you and Kathleen, you've never been to a World Series game. Me, I've been, more than once, actually."

"More than once?" Derek asked. "Seriously?"

"'98, '99, 2000 and 2002," Meredith said, laughing at the look of shock on Derek's face. "Trust me, you're not going to see anything I haven't seen before. So I want you to have fun and not worry that I'm missing it."

"Well, I'll still miss you…is that alright?" Derek asked with a smirk.

Meredith giggled as he leaned in and kissed her. "That, Dr. Shepherd, is more than alright."


	12. Hit The Road

**A/N:** Here we are, finally jumping forward a bit to the big Thanksgiving trip. Originally, I wasn't going to write the actual road trip, but there were some things that I just couldn't logically fit into the actual scenes at the Shepherd house, so I decided to have a little fun and show you guys some snippets from Derek and Meredith's road trip.

Thank you all for continuing to read and review! I appreciate your patience with the delay in getting up the chapters. Jury duty will probably last at least another week and a half, so it'll be at least that long before the updates become regular again. Thanks for sticking with me!

* * *

"Seriously, Meredith, did you pack rocks in this thing?" Alex groaned as he lugged Meredith's suitcase down the stairs early one morning a few weeks later.

"I thought you were supposed to be the jock, Alex," Meredith laughed. "Where's all that wrestling strength?"

"You're just lucky you're not flying," Alex pointed out. "This thing would never meet the weight limits."

"Oh, stop complaining and go put it in Derek's car," Meredith instructed as Alex dragged her bag out the door.

"Are you sure you have everything?" Lexie asked.

"We've been over this a dozen times," Meredith pointed out. "I'll be fine, Lexie. And yes, if I'm not, I'll call you so you can fly out and kick their asses."

"Hey!" Derek protested. "Not that I approve of anyone being mean, but that's my family!"

"And Meredith's my family," Lexie said. "What's your point?"

"I'd do the same if Pierce's family was mean to Lexie," Meredith said.

"Please don't remind me that I have to do this meet the family thing too," Lexie said. "His mother is more than enough, and I've only talked to her on the phone."

"And now you get to meet his brother," Meredith teased. "And his sisters, and his father, and his cousins, and…"

"Would you just go already!" Lexie laughed.

"Seriously, have fun, Lex," Meredith said, hugging her sister goodbye.

"You too, Mer," Lexie replied.

* * *

"So, Lexie's off to meet the family too, is she?" Derek asked as they started their long drive to his mother's house.

"She's so scared," Meredith said, shaking her head. "She's probably more nervous than I am. I don't think she really wants to meet them at all."

"So why is she going?" Derek asked.

"Because he's met her family," Meredith said. "And they've been together for almost eight months. He's ready for her to meet his family, so she's going. It was sort of a trade off for them. She does Thanksgiving with his family, he does Christmas with us."

"Us?" Derek asked.

"Well, I was kind of hoping you'd want to stay in Seattle for Christmas," Meredith admitted. "I mean, I know you love your family, and I'm sure they do a great Christmas, but I already promised Molly I'd be there for Christmas – actually, I told her we could have it my house – and if you want to go be with your family, I'll understand, but if you stay, well, it'll be our first Christmas together. And I don't usually care about sappy things like that, so I hope you're happy, you've turned me into a sap."

"You are not a sap," Derek laughed. "You listen to Cristina too much, you could never be a sap. And I would love to have Christmas with you and Lexie. I think it's only fair, Thanksgiving with my family, Christmas with yours."

"Well, it won't just be Lexie," Meredith said cautiously.

"How many people are we talking here?" Derek asked.

"Probably close to twenty," Meredith said.

"Where exactly are you going seat everyone at your house?" Derek asked.

"I have no idea," Meredith admitted. "But my house is much bigger than Molly's or George's, and since pretty much everyone else lives with me, that sort of limited our options."

"We could have it at my house," Derek suggested.

"I don't know, I wouldn't want to force us all on you," Meredith said nervously.

"Meredith, you wouldn't be forcing anything," Derek assured her. "I'd love to have you and your family at my house for Christmas."

"Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you," Meredith agreed. "There are going to be a lot of us. Maybe even on par with your family."

"Who exactly are you inviting to this Christmas party?" Derek asked.

"Well, obviously Molly's coming, and her husband Eric, and of course Laura. Plus Eric's parents are coming, and Molly wants to invite her aunt – Susan's sister, not Thatcher's, mind you. Then there's Lexie and Pierce, plus Alex, Izzie and Cristina. I'm sort of hoping Cristina will bring Rick along, since she's still seeing him, even if she won't admit it to anyone. George and Callie are coming, and we were thinking of inviting Mark, plus Dr. Bailey and her family. And Addison and Kevin are coming too."

"I think I can handle that," Derek said.

* * *

"Meredith," Derek whispered, nudging her shoulder as she leaned against the window, sound asleep. "Meredith, wake up."

"Mmm," she muttered sleepily. "What time is it?"

"It's about 8 o'clock," Derek said. "Your cell phone's been ringing off the hook for about ten minutes. I wasn't sure you'd appreciate me answering it, but it's driving me nuts."

"Hold on, I'll get it," Meredith said, still a bit groggy from her short nap. Pulling out her ringing phone, she flipped it open without checking the caller ID.

"Hello?" she said.

"Took you long enough to answer the phone, Grey," the female voice on the other end of the line replied.

"Hi, Addison," Meredith said. "I can't help it if too much time in a confined space with Derek puts me to sleep."

Meredith grinned as Derek pretended to be deeply hurt by her insinuations.

"Well, I'm just glad you picked up," Addison said. "Because I have some big news."

"Is that so?" Meredith said. "And just what is this big news?"

"We're adopting," Addison said happily. "Kevin and I are adopting a little girl."

"Oh my God," Meredith exclaimed. "Addie, that's fantastic! I didn't even know you guys were talking about that yet."

"Well, we'd talked about it, but we hadn't done anything concrete about it," Addison admitted. "But this opportunity came along, and we just couldn't pass it up."

"What happened?" Meredith asked.

"Kevin was working this drug raid about two weeks ago," Addison explained. "He and his partner found this poor little girl in this run-down apartment, completely abandoned. She's fifteen months old. Social services has spent the last two weeks trying to track down any relatives she might have, but there's no one, other than her drug-addicted mother, who was more than willing to sign away her rights when they asked. She said she never wanted a baby in the first place, which is crazy, because Meredith, this little girl is the most gorgeous baby I've ever seen. Kevin and I just got approved as emergency foster parents, and they're going to fast-track our petition to adopt her."

"Oh, Addie, that's wonderful," Meredith said. "Is she alright, physically at least, you know, after everything?"

"She was pretty malnourished, so they've had her in the hospital as a precaution, but we get to bring her home tomorrow," Addison said. "She's going to need to be monitored closely as she gets older, just to make sure there aren't any lingering side effects, but things look good right now. I'm just glad we found her now, before she was old enough to remember any of this. Would you believe that her mother didn't even have a name for her? She just called her 'the kid'."

"That's awful," Meredith said. "Some people really have no business having children. Did you and Kevin give her a name?"

"Jessica Eileen," Addison said. "After Kevin's mother and grandmother."

"It's beautiful, Addie," Meredith said. "Now, I hope you've got pictures to send me."

"Already waiting in your inbox," Addison said.

"And you'll be bringing her up for Christmas, right?" Meredith asked.

"We wouldn't miss it," Addison assured her. "Listen, Mer, I've got to go…have a great time with the Shepherds, okay? Don't let the girls give you too much crap, and try to stand your ground with Maggie, she's not nearly as bad as she comes off at first."

"That's comforting, really, Addie," Meredith laughed. "Say hi to Kevin for me, and give Jessie a kiss from me."

"I will," Addison said. "Bye, Meredith."

"Bye, Addison."

As Meredith hung up the phone, she couldn't help but notice the strange looks Derek was giving her. "What?" she asked as she slipped the phone back into her back. "You know Addison and I are friends."

"I know that," Derek agreed. "But it's still just a little bit weird to hear you talking to her on the phone like you would anyone else."

"Okay, this?" Meredith said. "This is why I was concerned about Christmas at your house. Addison is going to be there. Please tell me you can do that without making everyone feel awkward."

"Of course I can," Derek assured her. "And look, I think it's great that you're friends with Addison. We didn't work out – hell, we probably never should have even gotten married, but that doesn't mean I don't like her. Trust me, Meredith, if I can be around Mark all day without killing him, I can handle a holiday with Addison."

"And her husband and daughter?" Meredith asked.

"And her husband and…wait, how does Addison have a daughter?" Derek asked. "When was she pregnant?"

"She wasn't," Meredith said. "They adopted. That's why she called, they just got approved to take Jessica home."

* * *

"Seriously, Derek," Meredith whined the next morning. "Does Montana ever end? This state goes on forever!"

Derek laughed. "We're about an hour away from the border, Meredith. We'll be in North Dakota soon enough."

"Are we going to make it through to Minnesota today?" Meredith asked.

"We'd better," Derek said. "Our hotel reservations tonight are in Minneapolis."

"Good," Meredith said as she turned to look at the passing landscape.

"Hey Meredith?" Derek asked a few minutes later, breaking the silence that had fallen over the car.

"Yeah?"

"Are you nervous?" Derek asked.

"Not really," Meredith admitted.

"Oh," Derek said in surprise. "That's good."

Another few minutes of silence ticked past before Meredith finally spoke up. "Should I be nervous, Derek?"

"No, no, of course not," Derek assured her. "It's just, I thought you might be."

"Mark said your mom can be a bit harsh at first," Meredith said.

Derek sighed. "I guess she can be, just a bit."

"Addison said she made her cry the first time you brought her home," Meredith pointed out.

"She told you that?" Derek asked nervously.

Meredith nodded.

"But you're not nervous?" Derek asked.

"But I'm not nervous," Meredith agreed. "I can handle your mother. I think I can even handle your sisters."

"Where'd this burst of confidence come from?" Derek asked in confusion.

"My therapist is a very smart woman," Meredith said. "She really knows how to put things in perspective for me."

"She put my family in perspective?"

"She did," Meredith said. "Think of it this way – you've met my mother and Thatcher, right?"

"Memories I will not soon forget, yes," Derek said.

"Okay, well, can you think of anything that your family could possibly say or do that would be worse than anything my own parents have said or done?" Meredith asked. "Beyond actually murdering me in my sleep, of course."

"Well when you put it that way," Derek agreed. "No, I guess I can't."

"So, as long as I don't forget too many peoples' names, I'll be fine," Meredith said.

"I never did make you that list," Derek realized. "I'm sorry about that."

"Don't worry, I think I've got it figured out," Meredith said.

"How?" Derek asked.

Meredith grinned and reached down into her bag, pulling out a thick stack of flash cards.

"You made flash cards of my family?" Derek laughed.

"No, Mark made them," Meredith said. "He thought I might like to study up before the big trip."

"So do you have it figured out?" Derek asked.

"I think I do," Meredith said proudly. "Want to hear it?"

"Go right ahead," Derek invited.

"Nancy's an OB, married to Nick but they're getting a divorce," Meredith said. "She's got two boys from a previous marriage. Kathleen's a psychiatrist, married to Tom, who's a history professor at Columbia. They've got four girls, one boy. Beth's a pediatrician, married to Sean, who's an ER doctor. They've got four girls, three boys, which is way to many kids, if you ask me. Abby's a stay at home mom, married to Matt, the genius who saved my leg. They've got three girls, one boy."

"Impressive," Derek said. "But when we get there, don't call Matt a genius. It'll go straight to his head."

* * *

"Derek Shepherd, if you put that Clash CD in again, so help me God, I will kill you," Meredith snapped as she noticed Derek reaching into the center console as they passed through Pennsylvania Tuesday morning.

"Well, what would you prefer to listen to?" Derek asked as he closed the console.

"I have no idea," Meredith said. "But I've heard that CD at least a dozen times in the last four days and I do not intend to hear it again for the rest of this trip. If I have to, I will snap it in half."

"You're very bossy, you know that?" Derek laughed.

"You like me bossy," Meredith grinned, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. "How far away are we?"

"Maybe an hour," Derek said. "Probably a little less. Do you need to stop again?"

"Nah, I'm good," Meredith said. "Let's just get there."

"Are you sure?" Derek asked. "I don't mind stopping if you need to."

"I'm fine," Meredith insisted, wiggling her legs to prove it. "See? No need to slow us down any more. I kind of just want to hurry up and get there. Four days is a long time to be in a car."


	13. Meet The Family

**A/N:** Well, it's finally time to meet the Shepherds! The next few chapters should get written fairly quickly, despite my warnings about possible delays, because a lot of the material for them is stuff that I wrote while this story was still in the planning stages - some of the stuff I've been most eager to post will show up in the next chapter or two, so I'm really excited to get those scenes posted! In the meantime, I hope you enjoy Meredith and Derek's arrival at the Shepherd home!

* * *

"Well, here we are," Derek said as they pulled up in front of a large white colonial house.

"Good Lord, Derek, it's huge," Meredith commented as she got her first look at the expansive home Maggie Shepherd lived in. "Does your mom really live here all by herself?"

"Well, there were five kids living here at one point," Derek pointed out. "Six, if you include how often Mark was over, not to mention the fact that my sisters always had friends over, day and night. The house was always full of people. The size still comes in handy now, because all the grandkids can congregate in one house, and no one ever needs a hotel. Plus, my mother is extremely social, so she's always got people dropping in from all over to stay for a few days."

Meredith smiled as Derek parked the car. The house certainly was beautiful, and she could now see exactly where Derek got the inspiration for the house he'd built on his land.

As soon as Derek cut the engine, the front door of the house flew open and people began pouring out to greet them. Derek didn't make it more than two steps toward the passenger side to help Meredith before he was practically ambushed by his sisters and nieces.

Meredith sighed as she pushed open her door, only to realize that while Derek was trapped by his sisters, she couldn't move her leg. Slowly lifting it out of the car and turning her body, she sat with her legs dangling off the edge of the seat, wondering just how she was going to manage to get out of the car on her own.

As quickly as the thoughts ran through her mind, a strong arm wrapped itself around her waist and gently lifted her to her feet, holding her steady as she found her balance and regained the feeling in her leg.

"I'm Matt," the man said, smiling as she awkwardly leaned against the car.

"Hi," Meredith said sheepishly. "I guess I should have made Derek take that last stop after all, huh?"

"It's happened to almost all of my patients," Matt assured her. "It seems to be a fairly common side effect of the surgery."

"Hey, I'll take it over never walking again," Meredith said.

"You alright now?" Matt asked as he tentatively withdrew his arm from her waist. "I don't want Derek to turn around and clock me one or something if he gets the wrong idea."

"I think he saves that kind of aggression for Mark," Meredith laughed.

"Nevertheless, can't be too careful, or so they say," Matt smiled. "Come on, the girls will be all over him for a while, happens every time. Why don't you come inside? I'll introduce you to the rest of the in-laws."

* * *

Meredith couldn't help but smile as she and Matt walked into the living room to find a small crowd huddled around the television set, watching what she recognized as the previous Thanksgiving's Dallas Cowboys' football game.

"Studying?" Meredith asked curiously as they approached the group.

Matt laughed. "They do this every year, you should be warned," he said, shaking his head. "They think it's going to help them with their bets for this year's games."

"It won't," Meredith said, smiling knowingly. "Dallas is a completely different team this year, which you'd know if you caught the way they dropped the ball in the draft, not mention their idiotic trades. Last year's lineup may have been able to cream the Jets, but they're going to get their butts handed to them by the Seahawks, and I'm not just saying that because I'm a Seattle girl."

"I like her, Uncle Matt," a teenage boy said. "Who is she?"

"Oh, right," Matt said apologetically. "Where are my manners?"

"You have manners?" a younger boy asked. "That's news."

"Very funny," Matt said. "Guys, this is Derek's girlfriend, Meredith."

"Hi," Meredith said, smiling nervously as she shook the teenagers hand.

"Meredith, this is Karl, Nancy's oldest son," Matt introduced, motioning to the older of the two teenagers. "And that's Brian, Nancy's other son. Then this is Tom, Kathy's husband, and Sean, Beth's husband."

Matt paused for a moment before pointing to the one remaining man, a tall brown-haired man, slightly graying at the roots, who hung back from the rest of the group. "That's Nick," Matt said dismissively.

Meredith smiled awkwardly as she shook his hand, shooting a confused glance at the others, who shrugged as if to say, 'ask me later'. The only Nick Meredith remembered from the family flash cards was Nancy's soon-to-be ex-husband, but she figured this couldn't possibly be the same Nick.

"Nick, why don't you go get Derek and Meredith's bags from the car?" Tom suggested. "See if you can't extract Derek from the girls while you're at it."

As Nick left the room, Meredith turned to the others. "Okay, I'm pretty confused right now."

"Aren't we all?" Sean said. "Karl, you'd better tell her."

"Nick moved out last December, right before Christmas," Karl said. "It was very sudden. Usually I can tell when Mom's relationships are going sour, but not this time. There was no warning, no fights, nothing, he just up and left one day. If Mom knows why, she's not saying."

"She hardly spoke for months after he left," Brian added. "Only left her room to go to work or the store."

"It was pretty bad," Karl agreed. "Worse than I've ever seen her, and I've seen her facing divorce twice before, not to mention the boyfriends who never made it that far. Anyway, they finally started the divorce proceedings a few months ago. Then, all of a sudden, he's back. He moved back in about two weeks ago. Again, no warning, no explanations, he's just back."

"But he's not really," Brian said. "I mean, he's back, but they hardly speak to each other, and they don't even sleep in the same room. Nick's sleeping in the guest room."

"Welcome to the Shepherds, Meredith," Tom said. "The drama never ceases."

* * *

"Good Lord, it took you long enough," Nancy laughed as she pulled Abby away from Derek so that she could hug him. "Why on earth would you choose to drive all the way from Seattle? Really, Derek, do they not pay you enough to afford a plane ticket?"

"Hey, it was a beautiful trip, Nancy," Derek said. "Just because you can't appreciate the beauty of this country doesn't meant that I can't."

"Hands off my son!" a tall gray-haired woman shouted from behind Nancy. "I haven't seen him in months, give the boy some room to come hug his mother, would you?"

"Hi, Mom," Derek smiled. "You look great, as usual."

"Of course I do," Maggie smiled. "What did you expect?"

"Nothing less, Mom, nothing less," Derek assured her.

"So, Derek, where's your little intern?" Nancy asked.

"Her name is Meredith," Kathleen corrected her sister. "But yeah, Derek, where is Meredith?"

"Um…she was here just a minute ago," Derek said, looking around in confusion as he realized that Meredith was no longer in the car.

"Less than ten minutes and she's already running for the hills?" Beth laughed. "That's got to be a new record, even for us!"

"Don't get your hopes up," Nick commented as he walked by carrying the suitcases out of the trunk of Derek's car. "The boys took her inside while you all were fawning over Derek."

"Well, we'd better go see if the boys have scared her off yet," Maggie said, turning and motioning for her son and daughters to follow her into the house.

* * *

"No way, the Giants run the best defense in the league!" Derek heard his nephew, Karl, exclaim as he and his sisters followed their mother into the house.

"I'm just saying, even if I concede that they've got the best defense - which I don't, by the way - but even if I did, that doesn't mean they can't be beaten by an appropriately run offense," Meredith replied. "There's no such thing as an unbeatable team, especially not in football. Everybody's got a weakness."

"Boys, do you talk about anything other than football?" Maggie asked as she entered the room. "I'm certain that Derek's lady friend would find almost anything else more interesting."

"Grandma, that's not true," Brian protested. "Uncle Derek's girlfriend is totally awesome – she's been to the Super Bowl, and she's met Joe Montana _and_ Steve Young!"

"Who?" Maggie asked.

"Maggie, come on," Tom laughed. "Two of the best players of the modern age? Seriously, have you been living under a rock?"

"Don't you sass me, young man," Maggie scolded playfully. "Just because I don't pay attention to sports does not mean I'm ignorant."

"Mom, can we go to Seattle?" Karl asked.

"Why on earth would you want to go there?" Nancy asked in disgust. "It's a horrible city. Quite dreary."

"Hey, I happen to love Seattle," Derek protested. "Don't listen to her, Karl, it's a great city. I could take you fishing if you came out."

"Um, maybe. But Meredith says she knows the head coach of the Seahawks and she thinks she could get us into the locker room after a game," Karl said excitedly.

Nancy glared at Meredith. "Well, isn't that charming?"

"To be fair, I know the head coach of the Jets, too," Meredith said. "So I could probably get you in a locker room without you having to come all the way to Seattle."

"Do you know the coach of the Giants?" Karl asked.

"Actually, yeah, I do," Meredith admitted.

"What, were you a professional athlete in a past life?" Sean asked in awe.

"No, dear, she's probably just slept with half their lineups," Beth said.

"Elizabeth!" Derek and Sean exclaimed at the same time.

"Beth, really," Derek sighed. "That was uncalled for."

"I think it was highly appropriate," Nancy said. "Look at her history, Derek. If she didn't sleep with them, how exactly does she know them?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but I met them through work," Meredith said, standing up to go stand next to Derek.

"Right, because surgical interns come into contact with so many high profile people," Nancy scoffed.

"Not that work, Nancy," Meredith replied calmly. "I worked for five years after college before I started medical school."

"And just what did you do?" Nancy asked disdainfully.

"I was a writer," Meredith said, aware that even Derek was staring at her with a bit of disbelief. She realized for the first time that they'd never really talked about that time in her life. "I did a number of different freelance jobs, but my steady gig was writing a weekly sports column for the Boston Herald. I also did all of their special events coverage, so I went to all the playoffs, the championships, things like that."

"That's how you got the World Series tickets," Kathleen said. "I wondered about that."

"Yeah, a friend of mine from the paper works in the commissioner's office now, so I called in a few favors," Meredith said.

* * *

"They hate me," Meredith commented as she and Derek walked into their room upstairs to change out of their travel clothes.

"They don't hate you," Derek assured her.

"The guys don't, sure," Meredith said. "But the guys were easy, all I had to do was mention sports and they were practically eating out of my hand. And I know Kathy likes me. But Derek, your mother wouldn't even look at me, and Nancy and Beth think I'm the biggest slut on the West Coast."

"Abby doesn't hate you," Derek offered, trying to be helpful.

"Oh good, I'm two for five," Meredith sighed. "Are they always going to hate me or is this something that fades?"

"Mom will take a few days, but she'll end up adoring you, I'm sure of it," Derek said. "She's a little harsh at first, but once she gets to know you, I think you'll both really like each other. Same goes for Beth. Nancy, well, give it time, if nothing else, she'll get used to you. Although, to be honest, she's not really all that nice to anyone."

"So I shouldn't hold out hope for her?" Meredith asked.

"Meredith, if you can get Nancy to like you in the six days we're here, I will personally write to the pope and nominate you for sainthood," Derek teased. "Sometimes, I think the only people she really lets herself like are her kids."

"She liked Addison," Meredith pointed out.

"Not at first," Derek assured her. "She would barely speak to Addison until after the wedding."

"Seriously?" Meredith asked.

"I thought they were going to hate each other forever," Derek said. "I mean, they eventually became friends, but I wouldn't say they were ever terribly close friends. I'm not sure Nancy's ever had a very close relationship with any of our sisters, let alone with Addison. She's friendly, but there's always, I don't know, sort of a wall, like she doesn't want to let anyone get close."

"Well that's comforting," Meredith said sarcastically. "Does she have a close relationship with anyone?"

"Her kids, of course," Derek said. "She and Mark were close for a while, but I don't think they've been nearly so close since, well, probably since her first divorce, actually, so it's been what, twenty years? And she always seemed pretty close to Nick, but apparently that didn't work out."

"He moved back in," Meredith said. "That's got to count for something."

"Honestly, I stopped trying to figure out what was going on in Nancy's love life after the second divorce," Derek said. "You ready to go back down?"

"Why not?" Meredith shrugged. "I've got to face the lions' den sometime, right?"


	14. My Miracle

**A/N:** Thank you all so much for the reviews! I understand that some of you were a bit disappointed with the initial introduction of the Shepherds, especially Nancy and Beth. Keep in mind that the characters are evolving, and that first impressions aren't always accurate. Also, keep in mind that Derek really didn't have much chance to stand up for Meredith - sure, he could have done a bit more, but Meredith pretty much stuck up for herself before he even had the chance. Things are changing in this chapter, though, so I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

"Derek, the kids are outside with the guys, but Mom and the girls are in the kitchen, if you'd like a word with them," Kathleen said knowingly, coming up behind Derek and Meredith as they entered the now-deserted living room.

Derek looked anxiously over at Meredith to gauge her reaction to him leaving her alone.

"Go, Derek," she laughed. "I can handle being on my own with your sister for a while. I've done it before and I didn't break. Besides, Kathy's the nice one."

"Yeah, Derek, I'm the nice one," Kathy emphasized, laughing as she said it.

"Sure you are," Derek laughed. "I won't be too long."

"Take as long as you want," Meredith smiled. "I'll be here with Kathy, getting all the embarrassing stories about your youth."

"Traitor," Derek teased, kissing Meredith on the cheek before heading down the hall to the kitchen.

"I'm sorry about my sisters," Kathleen said as Meredith took a seat beside her on the couch.

"You really don't have to apologize, Kathy," Meredith assured her.

"I sort of do," Kathleen said. "I think it might be partly my fault."

"How do you figure that?" Meredith asked in confusion. "Maybe it was a bit presumptuous, but I kind of thought you at least liked me."

"Oh, no, it's not that. I do like you," Kathleen assured Meredith. "I think you're wonderful, and absolutely perfect for Derek. It's just, the rest of the family doesn't really know that. All those months before you and Derek got back together, he didn't really talk much about you. I think he was trying to protect your privacy."

"I'm not seeing how this makes the rest of them dislike me," Meredith said.

"I didn't really think it was my place to tell them much about you," Kathleen admitted. "I wasn't sure I could separate what they would want to know from things that you told me in confidence, so I just kept my mouth shut. So basically most of what they know about you comes from Nancy, who, as you can imagine, isn't exactly the kindest judge of character. I've tried to tell them they ought to keep an open mind, but I probably could have tried harder."

* * *

Derek sighed as he stood in the doorway to the kitchen, watching his mother and three sisters gathered around the center island.

"Alright, one of you had better have a damn good explanation for what the hell you thought you were doing," Derek snapped as he walked over to join them. "Because if you were trying to piss me off, well, congratulations, it worked."

"What are you talking about, Derek?" Abby asked.

"What am I talking about? I'm talking about dear little Elizabeth here calling my girlfriend a whore in front of the entire family. I'm talking about Nancy agreeing with her. I'm talking about why you think it's alright to treat my girlfriend like dirt," Derek practically seethed. "I didn't want to make a scene about it in front of the kids, and Meredith did a damn good job of standing up for herself in there, but you better damn well believe I'm going to make a scene about it now. What the hell is your problem with Meredith, Beth? Nancy? Mom?"

"I wasn't mentioned in there. Can I go?" Abby asked nervously, slowly slipping off the barstool she was perched on.

"No, you sit," Derek said. "I want you to hear this too, because right now it seems like the only person in this family who cares about my happiness is Kathleen."

"Derek, how can you say that?" his mother protested. "You know we love you, and we only want you to be happy."

"You want me to be happy? You think insulting my girlfriend like that makes me happy?" Derek asked. "I love Meredith, and if you'd get off your high horses and give her a even half a chance, you'd be able to see that."

"You loved Addison," Nancy pointed out.

"Not like I love Meredith," Derek said. "I've never loved anyone like I love Meredith."

"Derek, we know nothing about her," Maggie pointed out. "How do you expect us to behave when you've told us practically nothing about her?"

"I've told you I love her," Derek pointed out. "I think over the past year I've made it abundantly clear that I am head over in heels in love with Meredith Grey. You're my family, that ought to be all you need to know to want to get to know her. Knowing just how much I love her, it's really the least you could do, getting to know her before you pass judgment on her."

"Derek…" Maggie began.

"No, Mom, I'm not done," Derek interrupted, ignoring the look of shock on his mother's face at being interrupted by one of her children. "You say you don't know anything about her, but have you even bothered to ask? Because I'll tell anyone who'll listen, Meredith is the most amazing woman I've ever met. She is brilliant, talented, caring, funny, compassionate…I could go on for hours. She's got this quiet strength about her that constantly surprises me. If you knew even half of what she's had to overcome in her life, you'd know just how much of a miracle it is that she's the woman that she is. And that's really what she is – she's a miracle. She's _my_ miracle."

"Derek, that's a bit over the top, don't you think?" Nancy asked.

"That's not even close to the top, Nancy," Derek countered, shaking his head. "She makes my world spin. When she walks into a room, I can feel her before I see her, as if we were somehow connected. All she has to do is smile and my world turns upside down. She fills a hole in my heart that I didn't even know was empty until she came along. When she's not in my life, it stops making sense. She makes my world make sense. Maybe you've never felt that, Nance, but that's how I feel."

"I've felt it," Nancy muttered too quietly for anyone to hear, her voice laced with sadness.

"I don't know why you all are so determined to not like Meredith," Derek continued. "Maybe it's some twisted sense of loyalty to Addison, I don't know. Quite frankly, I don't really care what your reasons are, because if you keep this up, the end result will be the same no matter why you're doing it. If you keep pushing like this, if you make this the four of you versus her, there will be consequences, and none of you will like them."

"Derek Christopher, are you threatening me?" Maggie asked indignantly. "You can't honestly be implying that you'd pick that girl over your family?"

"That's not a threat, Mother, that's a promise," Derek said forcefully. "I love you, and I love my sisters. It's not a choice I want to make, but if you force the issue, if there's a choice that has to be made, I will pick Meredith, make no mistake about that. It's what I've been trying to tell you for months – she's not just some girl. Meredith's it for me, she's the love of my life, one day she'll be my wife, the mother of my children, the woman I grow old with. Meredith stays in my life, that's non-negotiable. The only people whose presence in my life is in question right now would be the four of you. Keep that in mind the next time you feel the need to judge my girlfriend."

Derek quickly pushed away from the counter and headed out of the kitchen, leaving his mother and sisters to stare after him in shock.

"I guess he really did fall in love with her," Abby said, smiling slightly.

"Oh, shut up, Abby," Nancy snapped as she reached for the plate of oatmeal raisin cookies her mother had left on the counter.

"Sheesh, this girl's got you all stressed out," Beth commented. "You never eat cookies, Nancy."

"So what?" Nancy asked defensively.

"You don't even like raisins," Abby pointed out.

"Well, I like them today. Is that a crime?" Nancy asked. "You'd think you all were the freaking food police!"

* * *

Meredith's smile faltered a bit as she watched Derek walk into the living room looking as though he was likely to punch the next person or thing to cross his path.

"Come here," she instructed, motioning to a spot on the floor in front of the couch, just between her legs. Derek sighed as he slumped to the ground in front of her and she immediately began kneading his shoulders.

"That bad, huh?" Kathleen asked.

"I'd rather not discuss it," Derek said. "What have you two been talking about? Or do I not want to know?"

"Kathy was just telling about the time you stole her motorcycle," Meredith said.

"Hey, mine was in the shop," Derek protested. "And she wasn't using it."

"I was nine months pregnant and in labor that day, you moron," Kathleen pointed out. "Of course I wasn't using it. Usually, though, people ask before they take someone else's motorcycle out for a spin."

"Right," Derek scoffed. "Because you really would have appreciated me calling your hospital room in the middle of one of your contractions to ask if I could take your bike to come see you?"

"I would have appreciated it a lot more than being interrupted by an ER nurse wanting to know if I actually knew the idiot who'd just wrapped a motorcycle around a light post," Kathleen pointed out.

"Wait, that was when you crashed?" Meredith asked, her hands momentarily pausing in the air above Derek's shoulders. "You stole your sister's motorcycle and then you crashed it? That's bad manners, Derek."

"I was trying to get to the hospital so I wouldn't miss the birth of my first niece. I really should never leave the two of you alone," Derek laughed. "I have a feeling this could get dangerous."

"Hey, it's not like I told her about the time Mom had to bail us out of jail," Kathleen said.

"Jail?" Meredith asked, leaning down to look at Derek's face. "Derek Shepherd, what on earth did you do to get arrested?"

"I think I'm going to plead the fifth on this one," Derek said. "Other than to say that it was entirely Mark's fault."

"Kathy?" Meredith asked.

"We may have been arrested on suspicion of misdemeanor loitering," Kathy admitted. "I still maintain my innocence on all charges, though, as do Mark and Derek. In all honesty, we were only arrested because Derek here pissed off the police chief by breaking up with his daughter two weeks before prom."

"That girl was insane, and her father wasn't much better. The man had it in for me," Derek agreed. "I honestly thought Mom was going to kill us when she showed up to bail us out, though."

"Mom says she went gray prematurely because of the two of us," Kathy said. "She's laughing her butt off now that I've got a teenager. She keeps telling me she's eagerly awaiting my karma for what I put her through."

"Nicole's too nice to be your karma," Derek said.

"True," Kathleen agreed. "Amy, too. I can already see trouble after that, though. I think I'm really going to get it when Shannon and Connor get older, though. Shan's only nine, and you know what she asked Tom the other day? She wanted to know when she could start dating!"

"I hope he told her she had to wait a long time," Derek said.

"I believe Tom's suggestion was that thirty-five was a good age to start," Kathleen laughed.

* * *

Meredith spent most of the afternoon in the living room with Kathy and Derek and outside with the boys, who seemed to have taken an instant liking to her. She couldn't help but smile as she sat on the back steps, watching Derek attempt to teach Kathy's son Connor to throw a football.

"He's really great with the kids, isn't he?"

Meredith looked up to see Abby standing behind her, a small baby cradled in her arms. "Yeah, he really is," she agreed.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Abby asked nervously.

"Go ahead," Meredith said.

"Thanks," Abby smiled as she settled in and adjusted the baby on her lap. "I can't believe he's still asleep. He hardly ever sleeps this long."

"How old is he?" Meredith asked.

"Three weeks," Abby said. "I guess you noticed that it's baby central around here right now?"

"I saw a few clues, yeah," Meredith laughed, thinking of the toys and pacifiers that seemed to occupy the most unexpected corners of the house.

"That's what happens when you add four babies in less than four months," Abby said. "Brad here is probably the last addition we'll have in the Shepherd family for a while. At least we got even numbers this time, two girls, two boys. I think the men were starting to feel a bit outnumbered."

"I can imagine," Meredith said as an awkward silence descended on the two women.

"Look, Meredith, I'm really sorry about earlier," Abby said. "I don't want you to get the wrong impression about our family, because I swear, my sisters are not usually like that. They're good people, they just, well, they're not good with first impressions."

"So I've heard," Meredith said, earning a confused look from Abby. "Addison told me your mother made her cry the first time they met."

"She told you that?" Abby asked.

"She did," Meredith confirmed.

"I really thought she wasn't going to come back after that visit," Abby recalled. "She was tougher than she seemed, though. And if she hadn't come back, well, then they never would have gotten married. And really, maybe they shouldn't have gotten married, but I'm glad they did, if only for the purely selfish reason that I met my husband at their wedding reception."

"Really?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah," Abby nodded. "But what am I doing? You probably don't want to sit here talking about Derek's ex."

"It's okay," Meredith said. "She was part of your family, I get that. Besides, as strange as it might seem, Addison's my friend."

"Seriously?" Abby asked in surprise.

"Crazy, right?" Meredith asked. "It wasn't something I'd expected to happen, but it did. I think it's easier now that she's really moved on."

"I guess we all need to move on," Abby said. "It's just, Derek's not really great at communicating, so we don't know much about you. I think it's been hard for Mom and my sisters to get used to the idea of Derek with someone new. I know it's not exactly comforting, but they just need time."

"I'm in no rush," Meredith said. "I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

As Meredith and Abby continued to chat on the back porch, they were interrupted by the sounds of screaming babies coming from inside the kitchen.

"At least I know it's not mine," Abby said, bouncing Brad in her arms to keep him quiet. "Sound like Beth's twins, actually. Her kids have always had incredible lungs on them."

"Maybe I should go see if she needs a hand?" Meredith asked cautiously, as though seeking permission to approach another Shepherd sister.

"She'd probably be grateful," Abby encouraged. "Sean ran out to get a few things at the store. She's done the twin thing before, but I think it still overwhelms her a bit when they're this young."

Meredith nodded and grabbed hold of the railing, slowly pulling herself up from her spot on the steps.

As she walked into the kitchen, she found Beth pacing back and forth, one baby screaming in her arms and another screaming from her spot in the infant swing.

"Do you want me to grab her?" Meredith asked as she came up behind Beth.

Eyeing Meredith up and down, Beth sighed reluctantly. "Give it your best shot," she offered. "But she won't stop, she doesn't really do well with…" Beth's voice trailed off as she heard the baby's cries quiet down. "…other people."

Whirling around, Beth stared in awe as she saw Meredith standing next to the swing, the baby girl in her arms smiling up at her.

"How…" Beth stammered. "She's not crying."

"I guess not," Meredith said nervously. "Um…what's her name?"

"Bridget," Beth said, not taking her eyes off Meredith and the baby.

"Hi Bridget," Meredith cooed at the baby. "You're such a good girl, yes you are, yes."

"Hey, babe, they were out of broccoli," Sean called out as he walked into the kitchen, the bags of groceries slipping unnoticed onto the counter as he took in the scene before him.

"Sean, she's not crying," Beth pointed out, a smile creeping onto her face.

"She's not crying?" Sean asked, as though seeing it were not enough to believe it.

"She's not crying," Beth confirmed.

"I told you Derek got himself a good one," Sean said.

"Is something wrong?" Meredith asked anxiously.

"No, no, definitely not," Sean assured her. "It's just, Bridget isn't really a people person yet."

"What Sean is trying to say is that Bridget screams bloody murder any time anyone other than me tries to pick her up," Beth said.

"Even I can't hold her for more than a minute or two," Sean said. "It was the same thing with our daughter Clara when she was born. She didn't grow out of it until she was almost seven months old."

"I guess Bridget grew out of it earlier," Meredith offered.

"I don't think so," Beth said, sticking her head out the door. "Hey Abs, come here for a sec, please."

Abby walked into the kitchen, settling her son into the carrier on the table. "What's up?" she asked.

"Go hold Bridget," Beth instructed.

"The screamer?" Abby asked. "No way."

"Just do it," Beth insisted.

"Fine, fine," Abby muttered, turning to take the baby from Meredith. "Wait, why isn't she crying with Meredith?"

"That's why we need you to hold her," Beth said. "To see if she's grown out of it, or if she just really likes Meredith."

Abby nodded and took the baby out of Meredith's arms. Almost immediately, a loud scream filled the room. "She's got a good set of lungs on her, that's for sure," Abby laughed as she handed Bridget back to Meredith, noting in shock the way the baby calmed down almost as soon as she was in Meredith's arms. "Congratulations, Meredith, I think you just became Beth's new favorite person."

"You can't go back to Seattle," Beth said. "I'll kidnap you if I have to."

"What are you doing now, Beth?" Derek asked as he entered the room. "I thought we talked about this."

"Oh, you can go back if you want, Derek," Beth assured him. "But I'm keeping your girlfriend. Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to be the only person who can hold your baby? There's no break, no downtime, not even when my husband's home. As Abby said, Meredith's my new favorite person."

"I think I missed something," Derek said in confusion as everyone else burst into laughter.


	15. For All They Know

**A/N:** Thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews! Jury duty is now over (after all that time, we ended up as a hung jury), so once I get caught up with all the work I missed while being out for three weeks, I'll hopefully be able to get updates up at more regular intervals.

* * *

"Hi Lexie," Meredith said as she flipped open her phone and closed the door to the bedroom she was sharing with Derek. After having finally convinced Beth to take her daughter back, Meredith has slipped upstairs to answer her phone and freshen up before dinner.

"How's Connecticut?" Lexie asked.

"It's interesting," Meredith said. "How's Oregon?"

"Interesting is one word for it," Lexie said. "Pierce's sisters are driving me insane, though."

"They don't like you?" Meredith asked. "Do I need to come kick some ass for you?"

Lexie laughed. "No, I think I can handle them," she said. "It isn't that they aren't nice. No, I actually think I might prefer mean but still intelligent to very sweet but just plain stupid."

"Stupid?" Meredith asked in confusion. "Isn't that a bit immature, Lexie?"

"I kid you not, the two of them have a combined IQ of fifty, maybe a little less," Lexie said. "You know those blonde airheads they always have in TV shows? The ones who you always look at and think that women that dumb cannot actually exist? Well, they exist, they live in Portland, and they're my boyfriend's younger sisters. The worst part is they aren't even blonde!"

"They can't be that bad," Meredith tried to reassure her sister.

"There was broccoli on the counter while their mother was making dinner last night, and one of them asked Mrs. Greene why she was cooking unripe cauliflower," Lexie said.

"Unripe cauliflower?" Meredith repeated as she tried to hold back her laughter.

"I thought I was going to die laughing," Lexie said. "I can't have a conversation with them because every other sentence out of their mouths makes me want to burst out laughing, but I can't, because they don't realize that they're idiots. I just don't get it, because Pierce is so smart. I mean, he had a full ride academic scholarship for undergrad and graduated first in his class at Cornell Med. How can he have sisters who are so clueless?"

"His parents poured all their IQ genes into their first child and didn't have any left for the others?" Meredith guessed.

"Something like that," Lexie laughed. "So, how are McBitch and the wicked witches of the east?"

"You've been spending way too much time with Cristina," Meredith said, shaking her head at her sister's description of Derek's family.

"Actually that one came from Izzie," Lexie said. "Seeing as she's the only one who actually met the nasty sister when she visited, other than you, of course."

"Of course," Meredith said. "Still, you probably shouldn't call them that."

"Have they been nice?" Lexie asked.

"Nice probably isn't the word I'd use for it," Meredith said. "Kathleen is great, obviously, but you've met her. Abby's a little quiet, but she's been generally nice. I think Derek had to have a stern conversation with his mother and the other two, though."

"What did they do?" Lexie asked.

"Well, Beth called me a whore in front of the entire family," Meredith said. "And Nancy backed her up."

"You're kidding," Lexie gasped. "I can be on a flight in an hour, two tops, Mer. I've been working on my right hook. I'll bet I could snap the two of them without breaking a sweat."

"I appreciate the offer, Lexie," Meredith said. "But I think this is something I have to handle on my own. Whatever Derek said to them seems to have at least had some effect. Mrs. Shepherd's just stopped speaking to me, which isn't all that bad, actually. I haven't really seen Nancy in a few hours, so maybe she's avoiding me. And Beth seems to actually be coming around, although that could have something to do with the fact that her baby likes me."

"Her baby?" Lexie asked.

"She's got seven kids," Meredith said. "Including two and a half month old boy-girl twins. The girl apparently doesn't like people, and screams her head off when anyone except Beth holds her. Well, actually, now it seems that it's anyone other than Beth or me."

"You're the baby whisperer," Lexie laughed.

"Shut up," Meredith giggled. "And don't you dare tell Cristina that nickname."

"Oh, I think it's cute, Mer," Lexie said. "We could get it embroidered on your lab coat: Meredith Grey, Baby Whisperer."

* * *

"How's Lexie?" Derek asked as Meredith once again entered the living room, where Derek was sitting with Abby, Beth, Kathleen and their husbands and new babies.

"She's good," Meredith said. "A little frustrated with the Greenes, but she's dealing."

"Who's Lexie?" Abby asked. "And who are the Greenes?"

"Oh, um, Lexie is my sister," Meredith said. "The Greenes are her boyfriend's family. She's visiting them for a few days for the holiday."

"Does your sister have the same last name you do?" Beth asked curiously.

Meredith smiled, knowing exactly where Beth was going with that question. "Yeah, she does," Meredith said. "And yes, the nurses call them the 'color couple' because of their names."

"They do?" Derek asked in surprise. "I hadn't heard that."

"Seriously, Derek," Meredith laughed, shaking her head. "I'm not even there most days right now and I hear these things. Sometimes I wonder if you work at the same hospital the rest of us do."

"He's generally rather clueless," Kathleen pointed out. "But I'm sure you've figured that out by now."

"I thought you were supposed to be the nice one," Derek pouted.

"Nice to Meredith," Kathleen countered. "No one said I had to be nice to you, baby brother."

"Speaking of not nice, has anyone seen Nancy this afternoon?" Sean asked, realizing that they were missing a sister.

"Nope, but I can found out where she is," Beth said confidently.

"How?" Sean asked.

Beth smiled and walked to the back door. "Hey Karl, get your butt in here!" she shouted before returning to the room.

"Do you have to be so loud?" Beth asked.

Sean shook his head and laughed. "And you wonder where Bridget gets her lungs?"

"What's up, Aunt Beth?" Karl asked as he came into the room.

"Where's your mother?" Beth asked. "No one's seen her since just after lunch."

"She said she wasn't feeling well, so Nick took her home," Karl said. "He said they'd try to come back in time for dinner."

* * *

"Well, this is nice," Abby said, trying to break the awkward silence that had descended on the group as soon as soon as they had all sat down around the dinner table. "It's been a few months since we had everyone all together."

"We're not all together," Beth pointed out. "Mark's not here yet."

"Wasn't he supposed to be here at five?" Nancy asked.

"He called while you were gone," Abby said. "His flight got delayed. Apparently it was raining in Seattle. Which, of course, we know _never_ happens."

"Hey, we don't get any more rain that the rest of the country," Meredith said. "Our rain is just spread out over more days than it is in most places. And enough rain to delay a flight is very unusual in Seattle."

"Well, I personally think that was just an excuse and Mark met some girl in the airport bar, like he did last summer," Beth said. "That's probably the real delay."

"Beth, cut the man some slack," Abby said. "It's possible he really was delayed by the rain."

"How do you two handle all that rain?" Beth asked.

"You'd be surprised how quickly you can get used to it," Meredith said. "There's an old joke in Seattle that if you live there long enough, you'll eventually get to the point where you won't need an umbrella because you'll learn to walk between the raindrops."

"Did you grow up in Seattle, Meredith?" Maggie asked, finally breaking her hours-long silence and speaking to the woman her son had brought home.

"For a little while, yes," Meredith said. "I was born in Seattle, but I moved to Boston when I was five. I only came back home after I joined the residency program at Seattle Grace."

"You're in your third year now, right?" Beth asked.

"Not exactly," Meredith admitted. "I'm actually on leave from the hospital right now, so because of the time I've missed, when I start back I'll be a second year resident again."

"What'd you do to get yourself suspended?" Nancy asked.

"Nancy," Derek said in a cautionary tone. "I wouldn't go there if I were you."

"I think it's a legitimate question," Maggie defended her daughter. "People don't just up and leave their residency programs, that much I've learned with all of you being doctors. I mean, Beth only got four weeks when she had Ben, remember? And when she had the twins, it was hardly any better, they only let her take eight weeks."

"I think this was a little different, Maggie," Matt said. "Meredith wasn't suspended."

"And just how would you know that?" Nancy asked.

"Because he helped with her case," Abby said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world, before looking at the confusion on the faces of her mother and Beth and Nancy. "Did I not mention that when it happened?" she asked sheepishly. "Oops."

"Her case?" Beth asked curiously.

"I was in an accident," Meredith said. "Matt helped one of our orthopedic surgeons at Seattle Grace with an experimental surgery on my leg. The surgery was a success, but it's been a long recovery process and I still haven't been cleared to return to work yet."

"How long have you been out?" Sean asked.

"Since the mid-January," Meredith said.

"That's quite a long time to be not working," Maggie commented. "It must be difficult for you, financially speaking. I guess it helps that you've managed to find a well-off man to take care of that for you."

"Mom, that is completely inappropriate," Derek scolded. "I thought we discussed your behavior?"

"It's a simple observation, Derek," Nancy said. "No need to jump down Mom's throat. We all know what it's like to have med school debts, to have expenses, to be scraping by on a resident's salary. To suddenly have no income at all? I guess we all have our reasons for staying in relationships."

"That's more than enough, Nancy," Derek said, throwing his napkin onto the table and standing abruptly. "I will not sit here and listen to the two of you go on like this. Meredith, come on, we're leaving."

Meredith sighed as Derek stormed out of the room. Shooting an apologetic smile at Kathleen and Abby, Meredith stood up and followed Derek upstairs.

* * *

"Derek, you need to calm down," Meredith said as she walked into their room. "Just give them some time."

"Give them time?" Derek asked. "This is ridiculous, Meredith, absolutely ridiculous. I've told them what you mean to me, I've told them that they can't behave like this. Why can't they get the message?"

"I don't know," Meredith sighed, taking a seat on the edge of the bed and motioning for Derek to join her. "But you can't control what other people do, Derek. Believe me, if there was a way, I would have figured it out a long time ago and spared myself a lot of pain and heartache over the years."

"How can you be so calm about this?" Derek asked as he flopped down next to Meredith on the edge of the bed. "They're being horrid to you and it's bugging the hell out of me. How can you just let it slide?"

"I'm not saying it's okay, Derek, and I'm not saying I like it," Meredith said, placing her hand on Derek's arm to steady his nerves. "But maybe on some level I can sort of see where they're coming from."

"You can?" Derek asked in surprise.

"Try to look at it from their perspective," Meredith offered. "They know nothing about me. All they see is a woman who's dating her wealthy boss, someone who started seeing you while you were still married. Do they even know that I didn't know about Addison?"

"I don't know," Derek admitted.

"For all they know, I have no regard for marriage," Meredith said. "They know we were together after Addison came to Seattle, but do they know it was only once? They probably assume we were having an affair behind Addison's back for months before she caught us. And they don't know that I don't have med school debts, they don't know that I wasn't struggling to get by on a second year resident's salary. They don't even know that we weren't seeing each other during my recovery, so they have no way of knowing that you haven't been handing me rent money or something like that."

"Still, they shouldn't just assume that you're some gold-digger or whatever it is they're thinking," Derek sighed. "I just wish I could make them see everything that I see when I look at you."

* * *

"Mrs. Shepherd?" Meredith said nervously as she walked into the kitchen later that evening to find Maggie washing dishes in the kitchen. "Do you think we could talk for a minute?"

Maggie paused for a moment, her hands hovering over the sink full of soapy water as she seemed to ponder Meredith's request. Finally, she grabbed a dish towel off the counter and held it out for Meredith as she nodded. "You can dry," she said simply.

Meredith accepted the towel and quickly took the spot on the other side of the sink, falling into a silent routine as Maggie washed and handed the dishes off to Meredith for drying.

"I love your son, Mrs. Shepherd," Meredith said eventually. "I know you and Nancy don't believe that, you think I have some ulterior motive for being with him, but it's not true. I'm with Derek because I love him more than I've ever loved anyone."

Maggie sighed heavily. "I'm not stupid, Meredith," she said. "Derek's pushing 40, he's professionally successful and very well off. You think I can't see how that would attract you? I mean, you're what? Ten, twelve years younger than he is? You're barely two and a half years out of med school, you're probably still in massive debt. You can't tell me the idea of landing a nice rich man doesn't appeal to you. Not to mention the fact that he's your boss."

Meredith smiled slightly at the ridiculousness of Maggie's assumptions.

"You think this is funny?" Maggie asked incredulously.

"No, no, of course not," Meredith assured her. "I guess I can see how, not knowing anything about me, you might make those assumptions."

"And you think if I knew something about you, I would think something else?" Maggie asked. "Because if that's the case, please, by all means, enlighten me."

"How old do you think I am, Mrs. Shepherd?" Meredith asked.

"I don't know, 26, 27 maybe," Maggie guessed.

Meredith smiled. "I guess it's good that I still look young, but I'll be 33 in January," she said. "I'm only about 6 years younger than Derek."

"I see," Maggie said, a bit perplexed by how easily her basic assumptions of Meredith were being deflated. "That doesn't change anything else, though."

"I don't have any debt," Meredith said. "Not from college, not from medical school, not from any point before or after that. My mother paid my tuition, and I worked to pay my expenses. When my mother got sick, she gave me her power of attorney and everything she had passed to me. As a result, I own my house in Seattle free and clear, no mortgage or anything like that. I also own a house in Boston and two apartment buildings in Utah. The rent from those alone would be enough to support me while I'm not working at the hospital, not even considering the other sources of income that I have. I don't need Derek's money, Mrs. Shepherd."

Maggie nodded silently, scrubbing furiously at a skillet in the sink.

"And I didn't know he was my boss," Meredith continued. "When we met, I didn't know Derek was my boss, and I certainly didn't know he was married. After I found out he was my boss, I tried to stop seeing him, but Derek can be quite persistent."

"He pursued you?" Maggie asked.

"He did," Meredith confirmed. "And I still didn't know he was married. If I had known that, I never would have let myself fall in love with him like I did."

"And once you knew? What about then?" Maggie asked.

Meredith cast a confused glance at Maggie. "What exactly do you think happened when Addison moved to Seattle?"

"From what I've heard, while Derek was supposedly working on his marriage, he was carrying on an affair with you behind Addison's back," Maggie said.

"When I found out he married, I ended it," Meredith said. "If I could have transferred my internship, moved somewhere else, I would have. I was already in love with him at that point, but at the same time, I spent all those months hating him, wishing he would just go away so I could move on. There was no months-long secret affair. There was one moment of weakness, one mistake. I'm not saying that excuses it, I'm not saying I don't regret having hurt Addison like that. I'm just saying, it wasn't what you think it was."

Maggie nodded silently as she pulled the plug from the sink and watched the water drain out.

"I think that will do for tonight," Maggie said, setting her towel down beside the sink and leaving the room without another word, leaving Meredith to stand there, wondering whether she'd finally gotten through, or if she'd just managed to once again somehow offend Derek's mother. Sighing, she grabbed Derek's jacket from the bench by the back door and slipped out to get some fresh air.


	16. Unexpected

**A/N:** I guess you could say that this chapter is sort of like my baby. I wrote the bulk of it before I even finished writing 'Lost & Found', so I've spent several months adding to it, editing it and fine tuning it. Because I've been working on it for so long, everything else that I've written in this story, especially the chapters since Meredith and Derek arrived in Connecticut, has pretty much been leading to this chapter. I think because of that I'm more nervous posting this than I've been about any other chapter in anything I've published here. I have a feeling you're either going to love it or hate it. Either way, I'm extremely eager to read what you all think of it, so please leave a review!

* * *

Meredith sighed as she pulled Derek's jacket a little bit tighter around her shoulders and leaned heavily against the porch swing, chilled by the wind blowing across Maggie Shepherd's back porch. She knew she ought to go back in soon – she certainly didn't want Derek or his family thinking she'd run off – but she was enjoying the respite from the constant effort of trying to come up with the right words to make Derek's family like her. As much as she insisted she didn't care, she knew it was a lie. Derek adored his family, even Nancy, and though Meredith didn't doubt that if it came down to it, he would side with her over them, she never wanted him to have make that choice. She wanted them to like her, if not because she needed their approval then because she knew it was important to Derek.

She heard a car pull up at the front of the house, and from the shouts she heard from Beth and Abby, she figured that Mark had finally arrived. She smiled slightly, knowing she now had at least one more ally on her side.

Meredith was so caught up in her own thoughts she almost didn't notice when the back door opened and slammed shut. It wasn't until she heard the sounds of someone crying softly that she looked up, shocked when her gaze fell upon Nancy leaning heavily on the railing.

"Are you alright?" Meredith asked, her voice startling Nancy, who seemed to have also been lost in her thoughts.

"I…I didn't realize anyone was out here," Nancy said, quickly wiping the tears from her face. "Hiding from us already, are you?"

Meredith sighed. "Look Nancy, I know you don't like me, although I honestly don't know why, other than the fact that I'm not Addison. And if that's the reason, well, there's nothing I can do about that, is there? But clearly something else is going on here, so if you want to talk, I'm here."

"Right," Nancy scoffed. "Like you'd even care."

"I don't hate you, Nancy," Meredith assured her. "I don't even know you."

"So why do you care if I'm alright?" Nancy asked.

"Because you're Derek's sister," Meredith said. "He loves you and he cares about you and if he knew you were out here crying by yourself, he'd want to help. And if he cares about you, that's all I need to know for me to care, and want to help."

"You wouldn't get it," Nancy said, turning away from Meredith again. "Just like none of them get it."

"Them?" Meredith asked in confusion.

"My sisters," Nancy sighed. "With their perfect marriages and their perfect little lives. Even Derek, he gets cheated on, then he cheats on his wife, and he walks away with a perfect new relationship. Who wants to be bothered with the problems of the family screw-up? Poor little Nancy, can't seem to keep a husband. Makes for great family jokes, at least for them."

"I'm sure they don't mean any harm," Meredith said.

"Oh, no one ever does," Nancy snapped. "I don't know why I'm even bothering to talk to you. You're just the same as the rest of them, living your perfect little life with Derek."

Meredith chuckled softly. "I'm fairly certain no one would describe my life as perfect," she assured her.

"Right," Nancy said in disbelief. "You and Derek have an affair and you still come out as the golden couple. From where I'm standing, things look pretty damn perfect for you."

"Nancy, nobody has a perfect life," Meredith said. "Anyone who tells you they do is lying to you. My father walked out of my life when I was five and never looked back. My mother resented my existence, burying herself in her work, constantly telling me that I was a disappointment to her or that she should never have even had a child. I can't remember ever once hearing her say that she loved me. When I moved back to Seattle, I found out my father had replaced us with a new family, including two sisters I'd never even met, while I grew up with a mother who did the best she could but preferred to pretend I didn't even exist. My father turned out to be an emotionally abusive alcoholic. In the span of little more than a year, my boyfriend turned out to be married, I met a family I didn't know existed, I held a live bomb inside a man's chest cavity, my dog died, my roommate's fiancé died, my mother died, I drowned, my stepmother died, my best friend got left at the altar, Derek and I broke up because he kissed another woman and I was in a massive plane crash. You really want to talk not perfect lives? You found the right girl."

Nancy sighed as she sat down next to Meredith on the swing.

"Everyone's got problems, Nancy," Meredith said. "Your sisters might keep them under wraps, but they're there. It's just that some of us, like me, end up with our problems being a bit more public than most people's."

"I had an abortion," Nancy blurted out, not daring to look over at Meredith.

"When?" Meredith asked in shock.

"Right before Nick left," Nancy said.

"Is that why he left?"

Nancy nodded. "I…I didn't tell him that I was pregnant, I knew he'd try to convince me to keep it and I was just too scared. I just…when I had my boys, I still believed that I could make a marriage work. And when it didn't, it was so hard on them…it still is. I was just so scared that it would happen again, and I wasn't sure I could handle putting another baby through a messy divorce."

"Were you and Nick having problems?" Meredith asked.

"No," Nancy admitted. "Things were perfect. But look at my track record. Even my own family doesn't think I can make a relationship work. Why should this time be any different?"

"Why shouldn't it?" Meredith asked. "Everyone makes mistakes, Nancy. Everyone has something in their past that they're not happy about. That doesn't mean you have to let it dictate your future."

"That's deep," Nancy said.

"Well, my therapist doesn't get two fifty an hour for nothing," Meredith said.

"You probably think I'm a horrible person…I mean, who does something like that?" Nancy asked. "Who does that without even telling the father? Do you know how he found out? I left my wallet at the clinic and they called the house. I couldn't even come up with a decent cover story…I mean, I'm an OB, I have plenty of reasons to be at that clinic, but I couldn't even spare him the pain and lie to him."

"Can I ask you a question?" Meredith asked, waiting until Nancy nodded before she continued. "If you don't believe you can make a marriage last, why did you marry Nick?"

Nancy sighed. "You'd think it was stupid if I told you."

"Try me," Meredith said sincerely.

"He's different than any other guy I've been with," Nancy said. "The way he makes me feel, it's different than anything I've ever felt. He makes me want to believe in love, in fairytales and happily ever after. I wanted to be better for him, I wanted to try…but in the end, I just let him down, just like everyone else. And I don't he'll ever forgive me."

"Well, he came back, didn't he?" Meredith asked. "That's got to count for something."

"He's not back, not really," Nancy said. "He's biding his time, trying to do the right thing…he's not back because he loves me, he's back because he feels responsible."

"Responsible?" Meredith asked in confusion.

"I…I'm pregnant again," Nancy admitted. "I know, it seems impossible…I mean, up until a few weeks ago, I was in the middle of a messy divorce. Certainly not something that lends itself to an active sex life. I stopped taking my birth control because I figured after Nick, I was done, I wasn't going to do the relationship thing ever again, and with two kids in the house, I can't exactly do one night stands either."

"I'm assuming it's Nick's baby?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah," Nancy confirmed. "We'd just finished a particularly nasty session with the lawyers and I was pretty broken emotionally. I guess I was crying or looked upset somehow when I left the office, because Nick followed me home to make sure I was alright…and it just sort of happened. I don't even think my brain processed what we were doing until it was all over. It was almost like a reflex or something."

"I understand," Meredith said.

"Oh please, don't patronize me," Nancy snapped.

"Um, hello, panties on the bulletin board?" Meredith reminded her. "I know you heard the story of those."

"Right," Nancy said. "So maybe you do get it. One minute I was standing in my entry hall, telling him to leave me alone, and the next thing I knew we were in the bedroom."

"Are you going to keep the baby?" Meredith asked.

"Honestly, I have no idea," Nancy sighed. "I did tell him this time. Not telling him caused so many problems last time, I couldn't bear to do that again. But really, nothing's changed. I'm still terrified, just like last time. Except this time, I don't even really have much of a marriage to fall back on. Nick knows I haven't decided anything…he hardly talks to me and we don't even sleep in the same room. It's as if he's waiting for me to decide before really committing. What scares me the most, though, is how terrified I am of him leaving again, even with this sham of a reconciliation we've got going on right now. It sounds pathetic, but even having him in my life that small amount, I'd do anything to keep it, and I'm terrified that if I don't keep the baby, he'll leave again and there'll be no going back this time."

"Nancy, you can't have a baby just to save your marriage," Meredith advised. "It's not fair to your relationship and it's certainly not fair to the baby. Not to mention the fact that it hardly ever works, because having a baby won't fix whatever the problems are in your relationship."

"I know," Nancy sighed.

"But you also can't not have a baby simply because you're afraid your past is going to repeat itself," Meredith continued. "That's also not fair to you, the baby, or anyone else involved. If everyone based their actions on what had happened to them in the past, we'd never get anywhere. You can't let the past dictate your future or you'll never be happy."

"You know, it's scary when you start sounding like Kathleen," Nancy commented.

"Six months of intensive therapy, I'm just glad something seems to be sinking in," Meredith said. "You want my advice?"

"Might as well," Nancy said. "It's not like I'm going to be talking about this with anyone else anytime soon. I'm still not really sure why I'm talking about it with you."

"You need to talk to Nick," Meredith said. "Tell him how you feel, why you did what you did, find out where exactly he stands. But make your decision about the baby separately. Don't base it on how he reacts, don't base it on how you think your relationship is going. Just remember that there's only so much you can be certain of as you move forward. Sometimes, you have to let yourself take the rest on faith."

Nancy nodded as silence descended on the porch. For what seemed like hours, they sat there in the darkness, each thinking about what the other had revealed.

"So," Nancy said, finally breaking the comfortable silence. "You held a bomb in a body cavity? Really?"

* * *

"Well, it's about time you showed up, loser," Nancy smiled as she walked into the living room, Meredith following a few feet behind her.

"Hey, I've been here," Mark laughed as he stood up to hug her. "You're the one who disappeared, Nancy-pants."

Meanwhile, Meredith slipped quietly onto the loveseat next to Derek, who immediately wrapped a protective arm around her.

"You alright?" he whispered into her ear.

Meredith nodded. "Why wouldn't I be?" she asked in confusion.

"I don't know," Derek said. "You and Nancy both kind of disappeared for a while. I thought maybe one of you was busy burying the other's body in the backyard."

Meredith smiled slightly. "What ever happened to my knight in shining whatever?"

"I'm still your knight in shining whatever," Derek insisted. "Why would you doubt that?"

"So your version of being my knight involves you sitting in here, sipping a cold beer, while you think your sister is murdering me and burying my body?" Meredith teased.

"I suppose you have a point there," Derek agreed. "It's not very knight-like when you put it like that. I suppose I'll have to work on that in the future."

Meredith giggled and leaned in to kiss Derek on the cheek.

"Hey!" Mark called out from across the room. "I'm the one who just got here, where's my kiss?"

* * *

Nancy sighed as she sat on the edge of the bed in her guest room later that evening. The boys were spending the night at their father's, so she figured now was as good a time as any to talk to Nick. As she was driving back to her house that night, she'd made her final decision about the pregnancy, but she knew she needed to sort through a few things with her husband before she told him that.

Nick looked surprised to see Nancy waiting for him as he walked through the door, but didn't say anything as he proceeded to the dresser and started pulling out his pajamas.

"Why did you come back?" Nancy asked, her voice shaking in a way that caught Nick completely off guard and left him temporarily speechless.

"I would that was pretty obvious," Nick said when he finally got his voice back. "Do you even need to ask?"

"Yes, I do," Nancy said. "I told you I hadn't made a decision about the baby yet, but you came back anyway. Are you going to leave again if I don't have it?"

Nick sighed. "Honestly, Nancy? I don't know. Is there anything worth staying for if there isn't a baby?"

"What about me?" Nancy asked, the tears falling despite her best efforts to stop them. "Aren't I a good enough reason to stay? Unless you don't love me anymore, of course. Maybe you never loved like I thought you did."

"I did love you, Nancy, more than anything. Even after all of this, I'm still in love with you, and I probably always will be," Nick said. "But it takes two people to make a marriage work, and even though we tried to pretend that everything was fine, things weren't okay before I left. You never talked to me…"

"That is absolutely not true!" Nancy interrupted. "We talked all the time!"

"Not about the important stuff," Nick said. "Sure, we talked about the day to day stuff, but you never actually let me in. You've put up these walls to keep your feelings all locked up inside. Sometimes, it's almost as though you think if you let anyone see anything except the cool and collected version of you, they'll bolt. It's as if you don't trust me enough to let me in, to let me see you feel anything. We've been married for four years, Nancy, and tonight is only the second time I've ever seen you cry."

"You never asked, Nick…you never asked me to tell you anything," Nancy said.

"Nancy, you're my wife," Nick sighed. "And I'll admit, this is partly my fault for never telling you this while we were still together. But I shouldn't have to ask you to tell me things, you should trust me enough to want to tell me them. That's how marriage works, I share things with you and you're supposed to share things with me. You really want me to ask you things? Fine, here's one I've been wondering about for the last eleven months – why did you have the abortion, Nancy?"

Nancy closed her eyes as the tears slowed to a silent, steady stream. "I was scared, Nick. Every single relationship I've ever had has ended in disaster. I mean, for God's sake, this is my fourth marriage. What does that say about our chances? How could I bring a baby into this world when I can't even make a marriage work? My boys went through hell when Luke and I divorced…how could I risk doing that to another baby? And then you left because of it, so I guess I found a way to ruin it anyway."

"I didn't leave because you had the abortion, Nancy," Nick said quietly, sitting down next to her on the bed and taking her hand. "I left because you didn't trust me enough to tell me."

"You didn't leave because of the abortion?" Nancy asked timidly.

"I'm not saying I'm completely okay with the decision," Nick admitted. "I'll admit, I was furious when I found out, but not just because of the fact that you had an abortion. Do you have any idea how much it hurt that you didn't trust me enough to tell me what you were going through? That you didn't involve me in the decision? You aren't the only person in this relationship, Nancy."

"You think I don't know that?" Nancy snapped.

"You certainly haven't acted like you know that," Nick replied. "We took the same vows, Nancy. Remember 'for better or for worse'? I would have been there for you, if you'd only let me."

"You wouldn't have tried to talk me out of it?" Nancy asked.

"I would have wanted to talk about all of the options, yes," Nick said. "But if you had decided to go through with it after all of that, I would have been there for you. You can deny it all you want, but I know this hurt you, Nancy, and it kills me that you didn't trust me enough to let me be there for you through all of that."

"But you…don't you want kids?" Nancy asked tentatively.

"If it happens for us, I would love to have kids with you, and I know I've made no secret of that fact," Nick said. "But maybe I didn't make the rest clear. All I've ever wanted is our relationship, Nancy. Kids are a bonus, but they're not the be-all, end-all of what we've got. I would never dream of asking you to go through with something you didn't want to. I would have been there for you…damn it, I should have been there, Nancy!"

"You really would have?" Nancy asked.

"I would have," Nick agreed.

"So where do we go from here?" Nancy asked.

"I don't know," Nick sighed. "I really don't know."

"I guess I could talk to Kathleen," Nancy offered quietly. "Maybe see if she knows someone around here who we could talk to…that is, if you even want to try this again."

"I do," Nick said, smiling slightly. "You'd really be willing to try some sort of counseling? To work on us?"

"If that's what it takes, yes," Nancy said. "I…I don't want to lose you, Nick. And I hate being dependent on anyone or anything, you know that, but I love you and I really want this to work. I need you in my life, Nick."

"I love you too," Nick said. "And I do think we can make this work, regardless of what you decide about the pregnancy."

"About that," Nancy said nervously. "I sort already made my decision earlier."

"You didn't…" Nick said, terrified of what Nancy was about to say.

"No, I didn't," Nancy smiled. "I wouldn't have done that without you. I actually decided, I want to do this, Nick. I want to have this baby. I'm _going_ to have this baby."

"What about everything you were saying earlier?" Nick asked. "What about all that fear? Are you sure this is what you want?"

Nancy nodded. "Don't get me wrong, I'm still scared out of my mind," Nancy admitted. "I think it'll take a lot to change that. But if I let my fear of my past repeating itself dictate my future, I'll never do anything…and then I really would lose everything. So, let's just say I'm taking a leap of faith here."

"That's pretty a pretty sappy statement coming from you," Nick teased.

"Shut up, I'm pregnant," Nancy retorted. "Blame it on the hormones."

"I love the hormones," Nick grinned, tentatively reaching his hand out and laying it on Nancy's still mostly flat stomach. "You can't…you can't feel her yet, can you?"

"Not for another few months," Nancy said. "And what's this about 'her'? If my past is any indication, you should probably be saying 'he'."

"And what was that you telling me about not letting the past dictate the future?" Nick replied. "Call me crazy, but I think it's going to be a girl."

"And if it's a boy?" Nancy asked questioningly. "Or if there are problems? You know, it's a lot riskier having a baby at 44 than it is at 28."

"It won't matter," Nick assured her. "He'll be ours, and that will make him absolutely perfect in my eyes, boy or girl, problems or not. She – or he – will be loved no matter what."

"And you think I'm sappy?" Nancy laughed.

"You love me anyway," Nick pointed out.

"I do," Nancy agreed, her eyes tearing up just a bit again. "I really do."


	17. The Inner Circle

**A/N: **I know, it's about time I got another update up! I had a little bit of trouble with this one, especially after putting so much energy into the previous chapter. I think it still came out pretty well, though, so I hope you enjoy it! I'm a little behind on my review responses, but now that this chapter is finished, I should be able to get caught up on those by the end of the night. Thanks for being patient, everyone!

* * *

"So, are you ever going to tell me where you disappeared to last night?" Derek asked as he and Meredith lay in bed the next morning.

"I told you, I went outside to get some fresh air," Meredith said. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"No," Derek said slowly. "But I do think it's a little strange that you and Nancy both disappeared at almost the same time and then randomly returned together."

"Would it be bad if I had been talking to your sister?" Meredith asked.

"Of course not," Derek said. "It's just that you and Nancy aren't exactly on the best of terms right now, so it seems a bit odd, that's all."

"I'm not saying we're suddenly best friends," Meredith said. "But maybe you and I should cut Nancy some slack. She's going through a lot right now."

"What are you talking about?" Derek asked in confusion.

"It's not really my place to say," Meredith said, slowly easing herself out of the bed and moving toward the closet to get her clothes for the day. "There's more to your sister than I would have thought, though. All I'm saying is maybe she's not as bad she seems."

"Okay, _I_ know there's a good side to Nancy," Derek said. "The question is, how did you figure that out?"

"I'm very smart," Meredith said teasingly, hoping to end the conversation soon.

"What exactly did you two talk about out there?" Derek asked. "Wait, did Nancy tell you something?"

"As I said, that's private, Derek," Meredith said defensively. "As much as I would love to tell you, what happened out there is between me and your sister. It wouldn't be right for me to tell you."

"You're keeping Nancy's confidence?" Derek asked in surprise. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Oh, get off it," Meredith sighed, throwing a pair of socks at his head. "Now hurry up and get dressed. It's time for breakfast and I'm starving."

* * *

"It's about time you two got down here," Sean grumbled as Meredith and Derek slipped into the two empty chairs at the end of the large dining table in the dining room just off of the kitchen. "Did you forget Maggie's rule that no one gets to eat until we're all here?"

"Well, you could have sent one of the kids to get us if you were that hungry," Derek pointed out.

"What, and permanently traumatize them with whatever they would have walked in on you two doing up there?" Sean laughed. "No thank you."

"Sean," Beth scolded. "Really, you have a dirty mind."

"And you wonder how you ended up with seven kids?" Abby teased.

"Watch yourself, Abs, I'm nearing the end of my run," Beth pointed out. "You, on the other hand, you've still got time to pop out four or five more."

At that, Matt began coughing violently, choking on the coffee he'd just taken a sip of. "Four…four or five more?" he sputtered, looking at his wife questioningly.

"Oh, relax, honey," Abby laughed. "I don't intend to put this body through that more than once or twice more. And hey, if Derek makes us all starve every morning, I won't have the energy to even have that many more."

"Well, next time, just send a kid up to get us," Derek said. "Or stop your complaining."

"I told you, man, I'm not subjecting a kid to that," Sean insisted.

"They wouldn't see anything," Mark pointed out. "Derek's not sleeping with Meredith."

"Mark!" Derek and Meredith exclaimed in shock.

"What?" Mark asked innocently. "Oh, has that changed since we last talked? Good for you, man."

"That is none of your business, Mark," Meredith said indignantly, before turning to Derek. "You talk to Mark about our sex life?"

"Um…yeah," Derek said cautiously. "You talk to your friends about it."

"I do not!" Meredith protested.

"Not even Cristina?" Derek asked guiltily.

"_Especially_ not Cristina. Good Lord, she'd have a field day if we talked about that," Meredith said emphatically. "I cannot believe that you would talk to Mark about our sex life."

"Not that there was much to talk about," Mark pointed out.

Meredith whirled around to face Mark. "Mark Sloan, I swear to God, if I hear so much as one more word out of your mouth about my private life, I will knee you so hard it will be years before you even think about sex again. Got it?"

Mark nodded, instinctively crossing his legs and turning his body slightly away from Meredith.

"As for you," Meredith turned back to Derek. "Don't think I'm done with you, but I am not having this conversation in front of your entire family."

"Too late," Abby piped up from the other end of the table. "And don't stop on our account. I love seeing Mark and Derek get in trouble."

"Oh Lord," Meredith muttered, burying her head in her hands in embarrassment.

"I think it's a little late for chastity in your relationship, don't you think?" Maggie asked. "Especially given the dubious circumstances under which you two became, well, acquainted. Wouldn't you agree, Nancy?"

"You know, Mom, I don't think it's really any of our business," Nancy said. "Derek and Meredith are adults, they're free to lead their own lives without us butting in all the time."

"Seriously, Meredith, what did you do to my sister?" Derek whispered as he leaned over to Meredith.

"Nancy, are you feeling alright?" Beth asked, looking over at her sister. "You're acting very un-Nancy-like this morning."

"You're even eating carbs, Nancy," Abby observed, pointing to the half-eaten bagel on Nancy's plate.

"What's wrong with that?" Nancy asked.

"They go straight to your thighs," Kathleen said. "Or so you've been telling us for the last ten years."

"Not to mention the fact that you're being, well, almost nice," Beth said.

"I can be nice," Nancy protested. "I'm a very nice person."

"Not this quickly, though," Beth pointed out. "Something is definitely up with you, Nance."

Nancy glanced over at Nick, who was biting his lip to keep from laughing. Shooting him a silent question, he nodded in agreement. Nancy then glanced over at Meredith.

"Meredith, my sisters are entirely too observant for their own good," Nancy said with a smile.

"Well," Meredith said, taking the gesture to mean that Nancy had reached the decision Meredith had suspected she would. "Don't take this the wrong way, Nancy, but you haven't exactly been subtle about it."

"Wait, do you know what's going on?" Mark asked. "How do you know and no one else does?"

"I'd like to know the same thing," Maggie said in disbelief.

"Hold on, Meredith is the one you talked to?" Nick asked Nancy.

"Is that a problem?" Nancy asked.

"No, no," Nick assured her. "It's just, I have to say, you've surprised me with that one, Nan."

"Good surprise?" Nancy asked.

"I think so," Nick smiled.

"So, are the rest of us ever going to find out what's going on?" Mark asked impatiently.

"Honestly, I'm surprised none of you have guessed it," Nancy said. "I mean, I understand that I'm the only OB in the family, but still, with six other doctors at the table – not including Meredith, of course, because she already knows what's going on – I'm shocked no one figured it out. I'm a little disappointed in your observation skills, actually."

"Oh. My. God," Beth breathed, as if a switch had finally clicked in her mind.

"What?" Abby and Mark both exclaimed impatiently.

"No way," Kathleen muttered. "Nancy, are you serious?"

"Am I the only one who doesn't know what's going on?" Derek asked.

"You really are a little slow on the uptake, aren't you?" Kathleen laughed. "She's pregnant, Derek!"

"You're what?" Maggie exclaimed, looking at her daughter in shock.

"I'm having a baby," Nancy said, a small smile playing at her lips.

"But…what…how?" Maggie stammered.

"Mom, you've got five kids, I think you know how," Nancy laughed as she held Nick's hand under the table.

"How far along are you?" Beth asked. "And how could you not tell me?"

"I'm 10 weeks," Nancy said. "And actually, it was surprisingly easy not to tell you. You clearly weren't paying attention, so I didn't even have to work at it."

* * *

"Derek! Mark!" Abby called out as she walked into the kitchen late that afternoon. "What are you still doing here?"

"Um…Abby we haven't even gotten to Thanksgiving yet," Mark said. "You can't try to get of rid of us already."

"Not for good, silly," Abby shook her head. "But maybe if the two of you came home more often, you'd remember that you're not allowed to be here on Wednesday nights."

"You're kidding me, right?" Mark asked. "It's the day before Thanksgiving! You're still doing that silly ladies' night thing?"

"Damn straight we are," Beth said as she walked into the kitchen. "So unless you have suddenly morphed into a Shepherd sister, you'd had better get lost before we kick your sorry butts out."

"Fine, fine," Derek grumbled. "I'm sure Sean will let us hang out at your house while we're exiled. I'll just go get Meredith and we'll be out of your way."

"Not a chance," Beth said. "You two are welcome to go hang out with my husband, but we've decided that Meredith is going to stay here tonight."

"You want Meredith to stay?" Derek and Mark both asked incredulously.

"Are we speaking another language?" Abby asked Beth as the two of them laughed. "I do believe that's what we just said. You two go, Meredith stays. Is it that difficult for you to comprehend this?"

* * *

"I'm going to what?" Meredith asked in disbelief.

"Have dinner with my mother and my sisters," Derek repeated.

"While you and Mark go have fast food and beers with the guys," Meredith said.

"You'll have fun," Derek insisted.

"Derek, your mother hates me," Meredith pointed out. "Your sisters sort of like me, but you can't really think that it's a good idea to leave me alone with all of them."

"Meredith, my mother doesn't hate you," Derek said. "If she did, there is no way you'd have been asked to stay tonight."

"What's so special about tonight, anyway?" Meredith asked.

"It's just this thing that my mom and my sisters do," Derek said. "My mother used to do it with my dad's sisters and his mom when I was younger. My aunts still come sometimes when they can, but most of them live too far away to come up every week. It's just a women's night, no men allowed."

"I'm not seeing why it's such a big deal that they want me to stay. I am a woman, after all," Meredith said.

"It's a family thing," Derek explained. "Wednesdays have always been just family. No friends, no visitors. They have this rule that if anyone wants to bring someone from outside the family to one of their get-togethers, everyone has to approve it. I dated Addison for three years, was engaged to her for another two, and she didn't get invited to join them until almost two months after we got back from the honeymoon."

"So if they asked me to stay…" Meredith said questioningly.

"My mom had to have said it was alright," Derek filled in. "They all had to approve. I know you don't want to, but maybe you could just try it tonight? This is a really big step for my family."

"Okay," Meredith sighed. "But if they hate me more after tonight, it's your fault."

* * *

"So, is this the part where prick our fingers and become blood sisters or something?" Meredith asked sarcastically as Abby led her down to the large rec room in the basement that evening.

"Oh come on," Abby giggled. "This isn't the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, Meredith. This is just our chance to have a little fun away from the husbands and the kids."

"There are a few rules, though," Beth called out as she grabbed a stack of paper plates from a cupboard in the kitchenette along the back wall. "And you have to agree to them up front or leave."

"Okay…" Meredith said, cautiously taking a seat on the edge of one of the two overstuffed recliners.

"It's really just one rule, actually," Abby said. "But it's a big one."

"You cannot, under any circumstances, no matter how much they beg," Beth said. "You cannot ever tell any of the men, including Derek, what we do or say here tonight."

"We're not doing anything illegal, are we?" Meredith asked nervously.

"Good heavens, no," Maggie laughed as she walked into the room. "But it drives them absolutely insane that they have no idea what we do, so that just makes it all the more fun."

"Well then, I guess I can agree to that," Meredith said.

"Excellent," Abby said happily. "Now, I'm famished. Where are Nancy and Kathleen with the food? Those two always take way too long when it's their turn."

"They're just fighting over what kind of ice cream to buy," Beth said.

"Good Lord, if she comes back with pickles for that ice cream, I'm going to kick her out," Abby said.

"Oh, like those pickle and mayonnaise sandwiches you ate were that much better," Maggie pointed out. "Or the anchovy and pineapple pizza Beth wanted? I'm telling you, pregnancy is going to be the death of you all, with your ridiculous cravings."

"Yes, ma'am," Abby laughed. "So Meredith, what did Derek tell you to expect tonight?"

"Um, I think he said something about drinking red wine and painting each others' toenails," Meredith admitted.

"Typical Derek," Nancy laughed as walked down the stairs with her arms full of pizza boxes, followed closely by Kathleen, who appeared to be carrying a gallon of ice cream and a case of beer.

"The brainless brain surgeon," Kathleen laughed, putting the ice cream in the freezer and pulling out a deck of cards and a box of plastic gaming chips from under the counter. "What do you suppose he would he say if he knew we were eating pizza and playing poker?"

"Not much, actually," Meredith said. "He'd probably just do that deer-in-the-headlights staring thing he does whenever something really shocks him, and then he'd stammer out a few words, run his fingers through his hair and look completely lost, almost like he's waiting for someone to explain it all to him."

"Oh Lord, he does do that, doesn't he?" Abby laughed.

"That's Derek for you," Kathleen laughed.

* * *

"Can I ask a question?" Meredith asked as Beth handed her a bowl of ice cream later that evening.

"Fire away," Abby said as she eagerly dug into her ice cream sundae.

"Did Addison really eat pizza and drink beer with you guys?" Meredith asked.

"I don't think we ever got her to drink the beer," Nancy laughed. "But that woman could definitely put away her fair share of a pizza. Although she was pretty bad at poker. Just couldn't keep a straight face."

"That part I knew," Meredith said. "Molly and Mark used to bleed her dry when we played."

"You played poker with Addison?" Maggie asked incredulously. "Wait, with Addison _and_ Mark?"

"Well, yeah," Meredith said nervously. "We had to do something to pass the hours when I was in the hospital down in L.A. There was only so much I could take of those ridiculous soap operas Mark tried to make me watch."

"Why were you in the hospital? And why was Addison there?" Beth asked.

"Actually, that was a pretty lucky coincidence," Meredith said. "That accident I mentioned earlier…I was in a plane crash just outside of L.A. I ended up at the hospital that Addison's practice is affiliated with. I was pretty much out of it at that point, and the police hadn't been able to find my I.D. in the wreckage, so I was a Jane Doe until Addison happened to see me in the hospital."

"I'm still not seeing how you get from identifying you to playing poker with Mark," Nancy said.

"Well, I was down in L.A. for a little over two weeks before I was stable enough to be transferred back to Seattle," Meredith explained. "I had some burns, so Mark flew down to do the skin grafts to treat them. Addison stayed with me until my family got there so that I wouldn't have to wake up alone, and then she just sort of stuck around to make sure I was okay. We had a lot of time to kill, so we played cards."

"So, what, you're like, friends with Addison now?" Beth asked in confusion.

"I get that it's weird, I really do," Meredith laughed. "It still freaks Derek out a little bit…you should have seen his face when I told him I was going to her wedding."

"Addison's getting married?" Maggie asked.

"She already did," Meredith said. "Back in August, actually. It was a beautiful ceremony. Maybe fifty guests, right on the beach behind her house at sunset."

"I'm surprised Jared and Marlene didn't put it in the social pages," Nancy mused.

"Her parents?" Meredith asked. "I think they prefer to pretend the whole thing didn't happen. I'm not sure they really like Kevin all that much, which is a shame, because he's a great guy."

"Well, in their minds, there are very few men good enough for Addison," Maggie said. "Even Derek didn't meet their standards, apparently. Marlene Montgomery is certainly one person I could have done without knowing."

"I'll second that," Beth said. "At one of Addison's birthday parties, Marlene actually told me that I looked pregnant white trash."

"She wasn't so articulate after Kevin's nephew smashed a piece of cake into the front of her designer dress," Meredith said. "I have pictures I can send you if you want to see."

"You managed to get it on film?" Kathleen asked incredulously. "How'd you do that?"

"Well, I may have prearranged the little accident," Meredith said slyly. "In all fairness though, it was probably the best forty bucks I've spent in a long time."

"You know," Maggie said thoughtfully. "There may be more to you than I thought, Meredith. We just might make a Shepherd out of you yet."


	18. Not Today

**A/N:** This chapter really gave me fits as it came into existence. Nothing I wrote seemed to sound quite right, especially since we're nearing the end of one phase of the story. These transition periods are always the hardest, I think. I know where we're going, but it's still quite a bit off in the future, so we've got to deal with the here and now first, and that's not always easy! I hope you enjoy what I ended up with. And for my U.S. readers, happy Labor Day! I hope everyone is enjoying a relaxing three-day weekend!

* * *

"Well, I see you survived a night with my family," Derek said as he walked into their bedroom to find Meredith sitting up in bed, a book open in her lap. "Any injuries I should know about?"

"I think we all survived unscathed," Meredith smiled.

"I'm glad to hear it," Derek said happily, smiling back at Meredith as he opened the dresser drawer to pull out his pajamas. "What exactly did you ladies do tonight?"

"Ha," Meredith scoffed. "Like I'd tell you."

"They got to you already?" Derek asked in disappointment. "You know, one of these days someone is going to cave and tell me what happens at these dinners."

"Maybe," Meredith said coyly. "But it won't be tonight, and it won't be me."

"Now, that's just not nice," Derek pouted playfully as he climbed into bed next to Meredith. "I thought we weren't supposed to keep secrets."

"It's not exactly a secret, it's more of a withholding," Meredith said. "You're just mad because Addison would never tell you and now I won't either."

"Can you blame me for being curious?" Derek asked. "I have all these images in my head of some secret society with names signed in blood."

"You have an overactive imagination," Meredith said, closing her book and placing it on the bedside table before turning to look at Derek.

"What?" Derek asked as he noticed the look on her face.

"We never did talk about what happened this morning," Meredith said. "And I believe I promised you that the conversation most definitely wasn't over."

"This morning?" Derek asked innocently.

"You talked to Mark about our sex life, Derek," Meredith reminded.

"Right, that," Derek said guiltily. "Meredith, I'm sorry. I had no idea Mark was going to be so stupid as to blurt it out in front of my entire family. I never would have talked to him if I had thought for one second that he would do something like that."

"I just don't see why you had to talk to him at all," Meredith said. "I mean, have you always made it a habit to walk around talking about your sex life to everyone?"

"It's not everyone, just Mark," Derek said. "Other than the whole period when he slept with Addison, that's how it's always been with Mark and I. I honestly didn't think it was that big of a deal."

"I guess it shouldn't be," Meredith agreed. "Although, in the future, do you think you could please get Mark to keep his mouth shut if you're going to tell him something private like that?"

"Oh trust me, Mark will be hearing quite a lot about privacy," Derek assured her. "So, are we okay?"

"I don't know," Meredith said thoughtfully. "Did you talk to Mark because you were frustrated? I know asking you to wait is hard for you, especially when I can't tell you when I'll be ready. Is that why you talked to Mark? Are you angry because we're waiting?"

"What? No, of course not," Derek insisted. "I talked to Mark because it just felt natural, that's the relationship we have. I'm not angry, Meredith. I'm not saying I necessarily like waiting, but I'm not angry."

"I'm sorry it's taking so long," Meredith said softly.

"Meredith, whatever it is, it's okay," Derek assured her. "I know I've pressured you in the past, but I'm not doing that now. There is so much more to our relationship than just sex. Not that the sex wasn't always good, because it was, but that's not why I love you. So whatever's holding you back, you take your time figuring it out, because I'll still be here when you're ready."

"It's just, you still look at me like you did before the crash," Meredith said. "But I don't look like that anymore, Derek. And I'm so afraid that when you really see what my body looks like now, you won't look at me the same way."

"Meredith, I could never see you as anything other than absolutely gorgeous," Derek said.

"You say that, but you've only seen my body once since the accident," Meredith insisted. "You can't pretend that didn't shock you, either. I know it did. There are so many scars, Derek, and I can't ask you to just pretend you don't see them."

Derek sighed as he reached over to brush a strand of hair out of Meredith's face. "Look, Meredith, I won't lie to you, it was a bit of a shock when I first saw the scars," he said softly. "But then I thought about it…and so what if you don't look exactly the same? You're still beautiful, Meredith, and those scars are a part of that beauty now. Those scars are a reminder that you're still here."

"What do you mean?" Meredith asked in confusion.

"When you were in that crash, I almost lost you," Derek said. "I almost lost you forever. We came so close to not having this chance, to not getting one more opportunity to get it right. The fact that you are here, that we're here right now, that we do have this chance, well, that's an amazing thing, Mer. It doesn't matter how much things may have changed, I still think you are beautiful and there isn't anything that could ever change that."

"It's one thing to say that now," Meredith sighed. "I just need more time to get myself used to the idea of someone else seeing them."

"And like I said, I want you to take whatever time you need," Derek said. "I can wait."

"Of course, that's not to mention the fact that I can't do a lot of the things I used to do," Meredith continued. "I can't even reach down to touch my toes, Derek. My flexibility is completely shot. What if the sex isn't as good as it used to be? What if I've made you wait all this time and it's not any good?"

"Meredith, do you really think the reason we were so good together was just because you were flexible?" Derek asked. "Because I'm not saying that hurt, but that wasn't even close to the reason. Mer, we're good together because we are so completely and totally in love. That's something that no crash is going to take away from us. I don't care if you can't do half the things you used to do, in bed or out of it."

"You don't?" Meredith asked in disbelief.

"I don't," Derek agreed. "And you know what? When you're ready, it'll be a chance for us to get to know each other all over again. We'll figure out new things, things we probably never would have thought of before. I can be very creative, you know."

"Oh, can you now?" Meredith giggled.

"You have no idea, Dr. Grey," Derek teased, leaning in to kiss her softly. "No idea."

"Well then," Meredith smiled up at Derek. "We are definitely not doing this here, because our first time cannot be in your mother's house. But when we get back to Seattle, I may just ask you to prove that, Dr. Shepherd."

* * *

"Uncle Derek!"

Meredith slowly opened her eyes the next morning to find three eager young faces staring at her from the edge of the bed. She smiled as she reached over and jabbed Derek in the side.

"What the…" Derek groaned at being awakened so early on his vacation.

"You've got visitors, Derek," Meredith said, nodding her head in the direction of the children.

"Uncle Derek, you have to get up," the young boy pleaded, while the two girls eagerly nodded.

"My mommy says we can tickle you if we have to," one of the girls giggled. "She said you're _very_ ticklish, Uncle Derek."

"Amelia, your mother is a liar," Derek said defensively. "Now, why do I have to get up so early?"

"Uncle Derek, if you don't get up, we won't get to eat," Amelia said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the whole world. "Grandma says the bakery is only open until ten today!"

"That's cause it's a holiday, Uncle Derek," the boy said.

"Is that right?" Derek asked in mock surprise. "Why didn't you say so sooner, Connor?"

"Uncle Derek, hurry up!" the other little girl pleaded. "You have to take us to the bakery!"

"Emma, who told you I was taking you to the bakery?" Derek asked.

"Mommy," Emma said. "And Aunt Kathy, too."

"Aunt Abby and Grandma said so too," Connor added. "And Aunt Nancy said if we don't go really, really early, Mr. Reilly will sell all his donuts before we get there!"

"Aunt Nancy told you that, did she?" Derek sighed.

All the three children quickly nodded in agreement, their faces conveying just how urgent they found their mission to be.

"Fine, fine, I'm going," Derek groaned as he eased himself out of the bed. "Just give me a few minutes, okay?"

Derek shook his head as he walked into the bathroom, muttering about how he was going to kill his sisters when he woke up enough to think clearly.

Meredith couldn't help but giggle as she looked over at the three children still standing by her side of the bed.

"Hey guys, did Aunt Nancy happen to tell you what time you should go to the bakery?" Meredith asked.

Emma nodded. "She said we should make sure Uncle Derek leaves by seven!"

"Well, it's already 6:30," Meredith whispered conspiratorially. "Maybe you'd better go make sure Uncle Derek didn't fall asleep in the bathroom. You wouldn't want to miss those donuts, I hear they're really good."

"You've never had Mr. Reilly's donuts?" Connor asked, his mouth falling open in genuine shock as Meredith shook her head. "We'll bring you a jelly one, they're the best!"

"Uncle Derek!" the two girls screamed as they banged on the bathroom door. "Uncle Derek, hurry up, hurry up, please hurry up!"

"I'm coming," Derek grumbled as he opened the door. "Are you little monsters ready to go?"

All three children nodded as they rushed toward the door.

"Now, why doesn't Meredith have to get up too?" Derek asked them.

"Mommy said to let her sleep in," Amelia said. "Don't worry, Uncle Mark's coming so you have a friend, too!"

"And just who's getting Uncle Mark out of bed?" Derek asked. "Because you know Uncle Mark is very hard to wake up in the morning."

"That's why Mommy said we get you up and the bigger kids could Uncle Mark," Connor said. "Trisha said she'd jump on his tummy if she had to!"

* * *

"So, how did you all avoid bakery duty?" Meredith asked as she walked into the living room to find Sean, Tom and Matt lounging on the couches.

"Ah, well, we've had it for several years straight while Derek and Mark were off doing whatever they were doing in Seattle," Matt said. "So we figured it was their turn to share in the fun. I hope the kids didn't wake you up this morning, though."

"I specifically told them to be quiet," Sean added.

"Sean, you sent three six year old kids into my room with instructions to do anything necessary to wake Derek up," Meredith said. "On what planet does that ever lead to quiet children?"

"Sorry," Sean said sheepishly. "On the plus side, you're up before any of the girls, so you can have first dibs on breakfast."

"Do you all have donuts every year?" Meredith asked.

"Donuts and the parade are a tradition," Tom said. "Everyone watches the parade. I'm sure even you've watched it at some point."

Meredith bit her lower lip as she glanced down at the floor.

"Oh my God, you've never seen the parade?" Sean asked incredulously.

"Who's never seen the parade?" Nancy asked as she and Nick walked into the room.

"Meredith, apparently," Tom said.

"How can you have never seen the parade?" Nancy asked. "It's an American tradition, Meredith. Next thing you know, you'll be telling us you've never actually had the traditional turkey Thanksgiving dinner."

Again, Meredith bit her lip and stared hard at her hands in her lap.

"You've never had Thanksgiving dinner," Sean breathed in disbelief. "Were you raised in a foreign country?"

"Boston," Meredith said.

"So, how exactly have you never had Thanksgiving?" Nick asked.

"Well, my mother wasn't into holidays," Meredith said. "She just thought it was all a big waste of time and money, so we never celebrated them. After I left home, I was mostly on my own for the holidays, and really, what's the point of doing Thanksgiving for one? Plus, I can't cook at all, so it wouldn't have been pretty even if I'd tried."

"So you've never actually had Thanksgiving?" Nancy asked. "You never went home with a friend for the holidays or anything like that?"

"I did go home with my friend Mike a few times," Meredith recalled. "Two Thanksgivings, if I remember correctly. But that was always very, very awkward, so we were both pretty much drunk off of our asses by two or three in the afternoon. My roommate Izzie tried to have Thanksgiving two years ago, when I was still settling in Seattle, but I blew that off for work."

"Drunk by two?" Beth asked skeptically.

"Mike was a closet gay man who dragged me home with him to pose as his girlfriend so his mother would stop trying to set him up," Meredith said. "I hadn't even been there half a day and the woman was already picking out colors for our wedding. Trust me, there was cause for drinking."

"Is this the same Mike who got you the World Series tickets?" Nancy asked.

"One and the same," Meredith agreed. "Like I said, he owed me big time."

* * *

"Mark, get your filthy paws away from those cookies!" Maggie scolded as she, her daughters and Derek all bustled around the kitchen that afternoon. Meredith laughed from her place at the counter, where she and Beth's daughter Clara had been put in charge of snapping the ends off of the green beans.

"I'm just testing to make sure they're not poisonous, Mom," Mark protested. "I wouldn't want anyone to get sick."

"I'm sure you wouldn't," Maggie said. "But the only one who'll be hurting will be you if I catch you anywhere near my desserts again. You know the rules. Dinner, then dessert, not the other way around."

"Nancy was eating cookies earlier," Mark protested. "How come she can eat cookies but I can't?"

"Nancy is growing my grandbaby inside of her," Maggie pointed out. "When you can say the same about yourself, then you can have cookies before dinner too. Until then, back away from the sweets. Have an apple if you're that hungry."

"That's gender discrimination," Mark pouted. "That's not fair."

"No, what's not fair is that in a few months time, my entire wardrobe is going to have to be replaced," Nancy said. "I'm going to be the size of a house, and then I'm going to have push something the size of a bowling ball out of my vagina. You really want to trade?"

"I see you're already looking forward to the birthing process," Kathleen laughed. "As on OB, shouldn't you know all the tricks to making it go faster?"

"Need I remind what it was like when I had the boys?" Nancy asked. "We can't all be as lucky as you were."

"Why was she lucky?" Meredith asked.

"Kathleen's longest labor lasted ten hours," Beth said.

"When she had Nicole, that baby was out in three pushes," Nancy said in mock disgust. "Three freaking pushes."

"Nancy, on the other, has had the worst labor of any of us," Abby said. "You should really warn the hospital staff this time, though, Nancy. Remember, you've still got to work with those L&D nurses. I think you scared a few off when you had Brian."

"Hey, I was in labor for 34 hours," Nancy pointed out. "After about 12 hours, you can't hold a woman responsible for anything that comes out of her mouth. I think they all understood I was a teensy bit out of my mind by the time I started screaming obscenities at them."

"34 hours?" Meredith asked in disbelief.

"I went 37 with Karl," Nancy said, grimacing at the memory. "All while my wonderful ex-husband was out on the golf course…or so he said, at any rate."

"That's right, he wasn't there," Kathleen said. "He wasn't there with Brian either, was he? What was he doing then?"

"Ah, by that point I believe it wasn't what he was doing, but rather _who_ he was doing," Nancy said. "At least I know I won't have to worry about that this time."

"So Nick's actually going to be there?" Derek asked.

"Of course he is," Nancy said indignantly. "What, you think he's just going to walk away or something?"

"Nance, don't take this the wrong way, but that's exactly what he did," Maggie said. "I think we're just all concerned that you've forgiven him a little too easily. You aren't simply taking him back because of the baby, are you?"

"Forgiven _him_?" Nancy asked, a bit shocked at her family's assumption that she hadn't been at fault.

"Of course," Beth said. "After all, he's the one who just up and left without any warning, Nancy. I'm sure you think you're doing the right thing, but how can you be sure he's not going to do that again?"

"Is he even safe to be around a baby?" Abby asked. "I mean, disappearing like that, it could be a sign of some sort of mental instability. Isn't that right, Kathy?"

"Oh, um, I don't really think…" Kathleen stammered, caught off guard by the way she was dragged into the conversation.

Nancy shook her head and laughed slightly. "Nick didn't just up and leave," she said slowly. "He had his reasons. Just because Karl and Brian didn't see it coming doesn't mean there wasn't a reason."

"Nancy…" Maggie said cautiously.

"It wasn't his fault, you know," Nancy continued. "You guys are treating him like a pariah or something, which is really sweet, it is, and I appreciate how protective you all are being of me, but it's not right. Because what happened, Nick leaving, the almost-divorce, all of it…that wasn't his fault, it was mine."

"Yours?" Beth asked.

"Mine," Nancy agreed. "The idea that somehow I took him back, that I forgave him, well, it's all backwards. All this time, I've been waiting for him to forgive me, because I was the one who was wrong. I'm the one who almost screwed up the best relationship I've ever had. Me, not Nick."

"Nancy, what happened?" Maggie asked.

"It's a long story," Nancy sighed. "But, it's in the past now. Nick and I, we're working through it. But I need you guys to stop treating him like he's some sort of horrible person, because you've got it all wrong. We're working things out, and with any luck, we're going to be a family for a long time to come, so you all need to accept him again."

"It really wasn't his fault?" Maggie asked.

"It wasn't," Nancy nodded.

"But you're not going to tell us what actually happened?" Maggie asked.

"Not today, no," Nancy said.

"Why not?" Derek asked.

"Because it isn't exactly a happy, feel-good story," Nancy said. "And today, we're supposed to be happy, remember?"

"What is it Uncle Joe always says at times like this?" Beth asked.

"I believe you're referring to, 'It's a holiday, damn it, you have to at least pretend to be happy to be here!'" Derek laughed, his voicing deepening in imitation of his father's older brother.

"Hey, you know what would make me really happy right now?" Mark asked mischievously.

"No cookies, Mark!" Maggie scolded, playfully swatting Mark's hand away from the plates once again. "Now make yourself useful and come take the turkey out of the oven so I can baste it."


	19. Homecoming

**A/N:** I'm so sorry about the delay in getting this chapter up! I won't bother to bore you with the details of what's been going on here, but just know that I am sorry! On the positive side, I've been having a good rush of creative ideas lately, so hopefully that will keep the chapters coming pretty quickly for a while!

Thank you all for being patient - I'm sorry I haven't had time to get back to all of you who reviewed the last chapter like I usually do! I'm trying to catch up, but I figured that getting this chapter up was probably a better use of my time than writing review replies. I'm going to try to stay more on top of them from now on so I don't get this far behind again!

* * *

"Are you sure you can't stay any longer?" Maggie asked as she watched Derek and Mark load suitcases into the back of Derek's car early Saturday morning.

"Sorry, Mom, but I've got to be back at work by Thursday," Derek said. "And Meredith needs to be back by Wednesday morning, so we've got to get going."

"Why do you have to be back, Grey?" Mark asked as he took the last bag from Meredith's hands. "You finally coming back to us at the hospital?"

"I wish," Meredith laughed. "Sadly, Callie still says I'm not ready yet. I've just got some work to do on a new program we're starting up at the group home."

"The group home?" Maggie asked in confusion.

"Oh, I do some part-time work at the Seattle Children's Home," Meredith explains. "I head up the community relations side of things, soliciting donors, getting volunteers involved, things like that. We just got a grant for a new outreach program, so I've got a few things to do on that when we get back."

"Don't let her modesty fool you," Derek added. "Meredith here managed to secure a seven hundred fifty thousand dollar grant for the center. She came up with the idea, wrote the proposal, the whole nine yards."

"That sounds like quite an accomplishment," Maggie commented. "What's the grant for, Meredith?"

"We're trying to start up a series of classes for people who may come into contact with foster children," Meredith said. "You know, offer them an opportunity to get familiar with the unique issues that foster kids have, things they can do to make things easier or more comfortable for them, issues to look out for, stuff like that. Our main focus right now is on getting the program into the proper organizations, but we've had a surprising amount of interest."

"We get a few foster children each year at my school," Maggie said. "I'm sure some of my teachers could use a program like that."

"Schools are going to be one of our main areas of focus," Meredith said. "I've already signed up two different school districts back home. Wednesday morning, though, I've got to sell the idea to the board at Seattle Grace."

"You want my help?" Mark asked. "The board adores me."

"I think I've got it under control," Meredith assured him. "But don't worry, if they like my plan, you'll see plenty of the program when you take my course."

"Is this going to be like that sexual harassment seminar they made me attend last spring?" Mark asked. "Because that was boring beyond belief."

"Mark Sloan, why did you have to go to a sexual harassment course?" Maggie asked, turning to glare at Mark. "Did I teach you nothing?"

"Um…it was just a staff requirement," Mark said hurriedly. "A general requirement, you know. Nothing I did or anything like that, I'm sure."

"That's funny, I didn't have to go to any sexual harassment seminar," Derek said.

"Mark, you go wait for me in the kitchen, young man," Maggie instructed. "You and I are going to have a little chat before Tom takes you to the airport."

"Yes, ma'am," Mark grumbled. "Thanks a lot, Derek."

"Any time, Mark," Derek laughed as Mark hugged Meredith goodbye. "See you in a few days."

* * *

"Oh thank God, you're back!" Cristina exclaimed as Meredith and Derek walked into Meredith's house Tuesday afternoon. "Barbie is driving me freaking insane."

Meredith laughed as she walked into the living room, where Cristina was sprawled out across the couch. "What's she on about this time?" she asked.

"I skipped her little Thanksgiving dinner," Cristina said. "I mean, it's not like she was all alone or anything. She had Evil Spawn here. And George and Callie came too. I just had better things to do with my time."

"What did you do instead?" Derek asked.

"She went to work," Meredith guessed. "Right?"

"She's just mad that I assisted on a pediatric heart transplant while she was here basting a stupid turkey," Cristina said.

"Hahn let you in on a heart transplant?" Meredith asked. "Very nice, Cristina."

"Yeah, well, she didn't really have a choice," Cristina said. "The kid was a transfer from Mercy West, and she was Rick's case. He came over to assist the surgical team and sort of ordered her to let me scrub in."

"He ordered her?" Derek asked skeptically. "I'd like to see anyone try to order Erica Hahn to do anything."

"What can I say? Rick's pretty kick-ass," Cristina said. "That's why I love him."

"Excuse me?" Meredith asked.

"What?" Cristina asked defensively. "He's totally kick-ass."

"No, not that part," Meredith said. "You said that you love him."

"No I didn't," Cristina said.

"You sort of did," Derek said.

"Shut up, McDreamy," Cristina snapped as she stood up. "I did not say anything of the sort, so watch it, both of you. You'll go spoiling my reputation if you're not careful."

"And we certainly wouldn't want that," Meredith laughed. "Heaven forbid anyone thinks that you actually have a heart."

"You think you're so funny," Cristina said. "You're soft, that's what you are. Completely and totally soft."

"I am not," Meredith protested.

"You so are," Cristina said. "McDreamy and the McFamily have made you soft. This is why I don't do relationships. Relationships make people soft."

"So what are you and Rick?" Meredith asked. "Switzerland, again? Looking for a new watch?"

"Switzerland?" Derek asked in confusion.

"Don't ask," Meredith said.

"Rick and I are not in Switzerland," Cristina said.

"So you are in a relationship, then," Meredith said.

"No, we're not," Cristina argued. "We're just…I don't know, we're complicated. But complicated is good. It keeps you on edge; it keeps you thinking. Nobody ever went soft from complicated."

"So Rick is what, your complication?" Meredith asked.

"See?" Cristina said triumphantly. "You've got to think about it, right? Complicated is good that way. Anyway, I've got to run. Rick and I are having dinner tonight. I just came by to borrow a few of your mother's surgical tapes for the evening."

"You're going to watch my mother's surgical tapes after dinner?" Meredith asked.

"Don't be ridiculous," Cristina laughed as she opened the front door. "We're going to watch them during dinner."

"I don't understand her," Derek said, shaking his head as Cristina slammed the door behind her. "I know she's your friend, but I just don't understand her."

"She's complicated," Meredith shrugged. "But she did say that she loved him, right? I didn't just imagine that?"

"No, she definitely said it," Derek said.

"That's what I thought," Meredith smiled. "I guess complicated is good, then."

* * *

Miranda Bailey shook her head as she walked down the halls of the hospital the next morning, finding a small cluster of her former interns - plus two attendings - huddled outside a conference room.

"What are you all doing here?" Miranda asked, her hands on her hips as she stared them down.

"Waiting for Meredith to finish her presentation to the board," Izzie said. "We want to be there for her if it doesn't go well."

"You think it's not going to go well?" Derek asked nervously.

"Of course it will go well," Lexie insisted.

"This is Meredith we're talking about," Mark said. "The girl does have a tendency to ramble more than just a bit. That could be distracting for the board. They're old, they have a hard enough following a conversation as it is."

"Seriously," Cristina sighed. "Can't we just do this waiting thing without talking to each other?"

"You damn fools," Miranda snapped. "You call yourselves her friends and yet here you are, hovering like vultures over prey, waiting for her to fail? You ought to be ashamed of yourselves! Don't you have anything more productive to do? This is a place of healing, so unless you can tell me that there's no one here who needs your healing, I suggest you all move your pessimistic butts away from this door!"

The residents and Mark quickly dispersed, muttering apologies as they scurried away, leaving Derek lingering alone near the door.

"Was I unclear?" Miranda asked as she looked over at Derek.

"But I…I'm her boyfriend," Derek stammered.

"I don't care if you're her boyfriend, fiancé, husband, whatever," Miranda said. "When she is finished, she can come find you if she wants to talk. In the meantime, I know there are still people in this hospital with sick brains. Go fix them!"

Derek sighed, knowing that although he technically had seniority over Miranda Bailey, there was no way she was going to back down on this – or anything else, for that matter. He shot one last reluctant look at the closed conference room door before heading off in the direction of the surgical floor.

"Children," Miranda muttered as she walked toward the staircase. "They all think they're so damn special. They all think they're going to scare the Nazi. Damn fools."

* * *

"There you are," Meredith said as she walked into the cafeteria and sat down across from Derek. "I thought for sure you and everyone else would be huddled outside the door when I got done."

"Bailey chased us away," Derek admitted. "Sometimes I really do wonder who's the boss of who around here."

"Bailey's the boss of everyone, even the Chief," Meredith said. "You should just accept that and move on."

"I suppose," Derek agreed. "So, how'd it go? Did they love you?"

"I don't know if they loved me specifically," Meredith said. "But they definitely loved the idea of the program. In fact, they've agreed to make it mandatory for all staff, with the surgical department up first."

"Really?" Derek asked. "All staff?"

"Do you have a problem with taking my course?" Meredith asked.

"Not at all," Derek assured her. "I can't wait."

"Well, that's good to hear," Meredith said. "Because we start two weeks from Saturday."

"It's on a Saturday," Derek said slowly. "All day?"

"Just the afternoon," Meredith said. "And you can count it toward your required professional development hours. Half the interns, residents and attendings will go the first time, and then the other half will go a few weeks later. They're making it mandatory, so don't even think about skipping."

"Good luck getting people like Mark there," Derek said.

"Oh don't worry, Dr. Webber and I already discussed that," Meredith said. "All the people who are likely to blow it off have been assigned to the first session. It's being held the weekend before Christmas. Anyone who skips the program will be assigned to work Christmas Day and New Year's Day."

"Ouch," Derek said. "I guess I won't be skipping then."

"You most certainly won't," Meredith said. "Especially since you already volunteered your house for my big Christmas party. I really don't see what the big deal is, though…it's a useful program. You might even learn something, you know."

"Well now, that depends on whether I'm able to take my eyes off the teacher," Derek teased.

"Oh, you'd better be able to take your eyes off your teacher," Meredith scolded. "I'm not sure Terri would appreciate you staring at her all afternoon."

"Terri?" Derek asked in confusion.

"I'll be teaching a bunch of teachers and staff at one of the high schools that day," Meredith said.

"Can I come take that one?" Derek asked.

"What, and distract me all afternoon?" Meredith asked. "I think not."

"You're no fun," Derek pouted.

"Oh, now there I disagree," Meredith smiled.

* * *

"Okay, explain to me one more time why we're going shopping again," Meredith said as she followed Molly up and down the aisles of yet another baby store that afternoon.

"Because my baby needs things," Molly replied. "My baby needs clothes, my baby needs blankets, my baby needs toys…ooh, my baby needs one of these monster truck mobiles!"

"Molly, you have clothes, and blankets, and more baby toys than I thought existed in the entire Western hemisphere," Meredith pointed out. "And you haven't even had your baby shower yet."

"But all those things were Laura's," Molly argued. "They're all pink. Everything I've bought so far has been pink, too, because my stupid motherly intuition told me I was having a girl…only now my doctor's ultrasound is telling me I'm having a boy. So now I need blue, because if my son grows up in pink dresses, he'll be confused, and I can't have a confused baby and…you know what? I'm the hormonal pregnant woman. Aren't you supposed to be catering to my every whim and not questioning my motives?"

"That's Eric's job, not mine," Meredith laughed. "My job is to tell you when you're acting like a crazy pregnant lady."

"You try being this fat and see how sane you are," Molly retorted.

"Okay, first of all, you are not fat," Meredith said. "You are not even close to fat. You were tiny to start with, and you haven't gained that much weight. You've got a cute little baby bump and that's it."

"Again, you're my sister, that's what you're supposed to say," Molly argued. "Trust me, I know I'm huge. I swear, I'm big enough that there could be two kids in there, Meredith. I'm fat and crazy."

"You are pregnant, not fat, Molly," Meredith insisted. "There's a definite difference. And you are not crazy, just a little hormonal."

"Yeah, well, it happens," Molly pouted. "Just wait until you and Derek start having babies, and you wake up one morning and realize that you can't see your feet anymore."

"Well then, I will just make Derek tie my shoes for me," Meredith said. "He'll love doing it. And even he doesn't, I'll probably be such a scary pregnant lady that he'll do it just to avoid my wrath."

Molly laughed at this. "I wish Eric were afraid of me just a little," she admitted. "You know what he said when I told him I couldn't tie my shoes anymore? 'Get some with Velcro.' I mean, seriously, Velcro?"

"Did he really?" Meredith laughed. "Oh, Molly…"

"I keep telling myself he's still suffering from some sort of heatstroke from all that time in the desert," Molly said. "It's the only thing that keeps me from ripping into him some days. I do love him, more than anything, but he's just so…I don't even know what the word is. He's just, he's so…there," Molly stressed, waving her hand in the air to illustrate her point.

"I'm not following," Meredith said in confusion.

"It's just, when he was in Iraq, all I wanted was for him to come home," Molly said. "And don't get me wrong, because I am absolutely thrilled to have him home, and I don't want him to go back. It's just that there are all these things that I've been doing on my own for all these months, and he doesn't do them the same way. Like, he folds my shirts wrong. And puts his shoes on the wrong side of the closet. It's like I've established this whole lifestyle that didn't include him, and now I don't know how to work him into it."

"And you're sure that none of this is the hormones talking?" Meredith asked.

"Oh, I'm sure it's all the hormones," Molly admitted. "And I know that all military families go through this when a soldier comes home. It's completely normal, and we will work through it. That doesn't make it any less annoying right now, though."

"Maybe you should be coming to therapy with me," Meredith laughed.

"I probably should be," Molly agreed.

"Karen actually suggested that you and Lexie come in for a session or two," Meredith said cautiously. "If you're interested, of course. I don't want to force you to come or anything. She just has this idea that family sessions might help me with more of my unresolved issues or something."

"I guess I could do that," Molly said. "Does she think we have issues?"

"I don't know what Karen's thinking half the time," Meredith said. "She says she suggests family sessions to all of her clients. Apparently it's helpful, I don't know. It's nothing to do with anything I've told her, I'm sure."

"Just be sure to warn her that the hormones make me crazier than most family members she deals with," Molly cautioned.

"I'll make sure that she's prepared," Meredith laughed.


	20. If You're Serious

**A/N:** So, I won't lie...I'm pretty much in love with what happens in this chapter. Well, it's more how it happens that makes me love it so much. It may just be one of my favorites so far, actually. I hope you all enjoy it as well - it's a big chapter for Mer/Der!

* * *

"So, I talked to my sisters," Meredith said as she walked into Karen's office the following week.

"About what?" Karen asked innocently.

"Sure, now you play dumb," Meredith rolled her eyes. "I talked to them about coming in for a session or two. They agreed to come, but it'll have to wait until after Christmas, because everyone is crazy busy right now."

"That's fine," Karen said. "I'll look forward to seeing them here in the New Year, then. That will give us time to go over anything specific that you might want to talk about with them."

"Hey, you're the one who wanted to see them here, not me," Meredith said.

"But they're coming for your benefit," Karen said. "I think there are still things about your childhood that you need answers for, and your sisters can help with that."

"How?" Meredith asked. "They weren't around when I was a kid."

"No, but they were around your father," Karen said. "Obviously, the best thing would be to just ask your father directly, but even with the progress you've made, I'm not satisfied that you're ready to handle talking to him just yet."

"Good, because I definitely don't want to see him," Meredith said.

"But you do want an explanation for why he never came for you," Karen said.

"I told you, I know why he didn't come," Meredith said. "I've come to terms with that."

"You know the reason, but that's the explanation you want," Karen said. "You want to know the emotions behind it."

"I'm not sure I'm following," Meredith said.

"If you could talk to your father about the weeks and months after he got the call from your social worker, what would you want to know?" Karen asked.

"I don't know," Meredith shrugged.

"Think about it," Karen said. "What would you want to know?"

"I guess I'd want to know how he could do that," Meredith said. "I get the why, I just don't get the how. How do you walk away, knowing that your child is in trouble?"

"That's good," Karen said. "Anything else?"

"I want to know if he felt guilty," Meredith said. "But at the same time, I don't want to know that answer."

"Why not?" Karen prodded.

"Because I don't want him to say no," Meredith admitted, tears forming in her eyes. "I don't want to know that it was easy for him."

"But you think it was," Karen said.

"I don't know," Meredith said. "But right now, I'm not sure I'd believe him even if he did say he felt badly."

"And that's where your sisters may be able to help," Karen said. "But I want you to be prepared for what they might have to say."

"I'm still not following," Meredith said. "What can my sisters tell me about how Thatcher felt?"

"You've said in the past that it was your understanding that your sisters knew about you," Karen said. "That Susan and Thatcher told them about you."

"That's what Susan told me," Meredith said.

"Well, I'd like to know how the topic was handled," Karen said. "What Thatcher told them about you could be helpful to you in determining how he felt. I just want to make sure you're ready for whatever answer you might find."

"I'd rather know," Meredith said. "One way or the other, I think knowing is better than not knowing."

"Alright then," Karen said. "What I'd like you do is put together a list of anything you can think of that your sisters might know that you want to know. I've got a few questions of my own for them, but I think your questions will probably end up being the ones that fuel the most productive conversations. I'd like to look it over advance, though, so take some time and maybe we can do that a week from now?"

"Yeah, that sounds good," Meredith said. "I think I can do that."

* * *

"Mmm…it smells fabulous in here," Meredith commented as she walked into Derek's kitchen that evening. "What's the occasion?"

"Nothing special," Derek said. "I'm just testing out a few dishes for Christmas dinner."

"You're really getting into this thing, aren't you?" Meredith laughed. "You do realize it's just our friends and family, right?"

"But it's also Christmas," Derek said. "And more than that, it's our first Christmas as a couple. It's a big deal, Meredith."

"You're a holiday person, aren't you?" Meredith asked, slightly amused by Derek's giddiness. "You've got a closet full of reindeer sweaters hidden around here somewhere, right?"

"No reindeer sweaters," Derek said. "But yes, I do love Christmas. It's the happiest time of the year and everyone knows it."

"You scare me sometimes, you know that?" Meredith said, shooting Derek a sideways glance.

"Wait, don't you love Christmas?" Derek asked. "You're the one who organized this whole party, after all."

"I want to see all my friends and family, yes," Meredith said. "But honestly? The whole Christmas part doesn't really do much for me."

"It doesn't really do much for you?" Derek repeated incredulously. "Decorating a tree, hanging stockings, singing Christmas carols, getting up a the crack of dawn to open gifts…come on, you have to love something about Christmas, Meredith. Some childhood memory you hold onto."

"Nope," Meredith said a bit sadly, looking down at her hands.

"Really?" Derek asked in surprise, setting down the pan he'd been holding and heading over to the table where Meredith was sitting.

"I didn't have a childhood, Derek, not a real one," Meredith said. "You know that."

"I thought you would have still at least had something…" Derek said, pulling his chair closer to Meredith's.

"My mother didn't believe in any of the holiday traditions," Meredith said. "She was big on self-reliance, my mother. She used to tell me that you couldn't rely on anyone to stand by you except yourself, and that if you waited for someone else to give you what you wanted, you'd never get it. If I wanted something for Christmas, I had to go out and earn the money for it myself. Mom always said that accepting gifts made you look weak, as though you weren't capable of getting whatever it was on your own."

"Well, this year I'm going to make sure you have a real Christmas," Derek said.

"You don't have to do that," Meredith said. "Izzie tried the perky, happy, everything's-perfect Christmas thing two years ago, and to be honest, I found it a little bit creepy."

"Izzie had it wrong, then," Derek said. "Christmas isn't about having everything perfect. It's about being with the people you love, about doing things to make everyone else just a little bit happier, about just appreciating what's going on around you for once. It won't be perfect…something will burn or cook incorrectly, one of the kids will throw a tantrum, someone will show up an hour late, but it doesn't matter. The imperfection makes it fun."

"Well, you at least _sound_ a lot more realistic than Izzie," Meredith said.

"Don't worry, you just leave it all up to me," Derek said. "You are going to love Christmas this year. Trust me, there's nothing like waking up Christmas morning and coming downstairs to open presents in your pajamas."

"You're assuming I'll be sleeping here Christmas Eve," Meredith pointed out.

"Hey, if it were up to me, you'd be sleeping here every night," Derek said, only half jokingly.

"Okay," Meredith said after only a brief pause.

"Okay what?" Derek asked in confusion.

"If you're serious," Meredith said. "I mean, if you weren't serious, that's okay too…but if you meant it, about wanting me to stay here every night…"

"Meredith, are you saying that you'll move in with me?" Derek asked hopefully.

"I think I am," Meredith said. "Unless you don't want that…it's okay if you don't. I mean, I won't be offended if you were only joking."

"Meredith Grey, nothing would make me happier than to have you living here with me," Derek said. "Now this place can finally be 'home.'"

"It wasn't before?" Meredith asked.

"Not really," Derek said. "When I built this house, it wasn't for me…it was for the future I dreamed about with you. It's a great place, and I love living here, but it only really feels like it's my home when you're here with me."

"You do realize that when I move in, I'm going to make you get furniture, right?" Meredith asked.

"I have some furniture," Derek protested.

"An air mattress in one of the guest bedrooms does not count as furniture, Derek," Meredith laughed.

* * *

"Oh good, you're all here," Meredith said as she walked into her basement later that night to find Cristina, Lexie, Izzie and Alex watching another of Ellis' surgical tapes. "I need to talk to you guys."

"That doesn't sound good," Cristina said as she clicked off the TV.

"No, it's good," Meredith said. "At least, I think it's good. I'm fairly certain it's a good thing. Like, ninety-nine percent sure it's a good thing. This is definitely a good thing."

"Stop rambling and get on with it, Grey," Alex said.

"Right, sorry," Meredith said. "I want you guys to know that this isn't going to change anything for you guys. I'm not asking anyone to move out or anything; you are all welcome to stay in the house as long as you want…and as long as you don't skip too many months' rent."

"Hey, I told you I'd pay those back," Alex interrupted.

"And I'm sure someday you will," Meredith said. "In the meantime, I just wanted to let you all know that I'm moving out."

"You're what?" Izzie exclaimed.

"Where are you going?" Lexie asked.

"I'm moving in with Derek," Meredith said. "I spend so much time over there anyway…it just seemed like a natural next step, you know?"

"Can I have your room?" Alex asked. "It's a lot bigger than mine."

"Are you sure about this, Mer?" Cristina asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Meredith said. "And no, Alex, you cannot have my bedroom. I figured I'd let Lexie have my room."

"Why does she get the good room?" Alex asked.

"Because I live in a converted study that's about half the size of any of the other bedrooms in this house," Lexie said. "There's not even a full bathroom on the floor I live on."

"It seems fair to me," Meredith said. "If it bothers you that much, Alex, you can always move. I'm sure lots of landlords will let it slide when you miss your rent payments three months in a row."

"Point taken," Alex said. "I suppose I'll be lugging boxes whenever this big move takes place, right?"

"Hey, if you're really good and don't complain, maybe I'll knock off a month's rent," Meredith said.

"Really?" Alex asked hopefully.

"I said maybe," Meredith said, smiling slightly. "We'll see how well you move my things. I don't have that much stuff."

* * *

"What's wrong with you?" Mark asked, warily eyeing Derek as he stood by the nurses' station the next morning.

"Nothing's wrong," Derek said happily. "It's a beautiful day, Mark. Why would you think something's wrong?"

"Because you're acting – and I hate to use this word, because it's just so eighth-grade-cheerleader – but you are acting giddy," Mark said.

"There's nothing wrong with being happy," Derek said.

"It's six in the morning," Mark said. "Are you high? And if you say that you're high on life, I will smack you."

"I'm just happy, Mark," Derek said.

"Okay, I'll bite," Mark sighed. "Why are you so happy, Derek?"

"Because Meredith agreed to move in with me," Derek said, a huge smile on his face.

"So I guess that this means you're finally getting some, right?" Mark asked playfully.

"Oh, I am so not making that mistake again," Derek said. "Nope, you are not getting me to talk about my sex life, especially since you've demonstrated your complete inability to keep your big mouth shut."

"But she's going to be living with you," Mark said. "Sleeping in the same bed as you, using the same toothpaste, all that couple-y stuff?"

"Sharing toothpaste can be fun," Derek said sincerely. "One of these you'll find a girl you want to share your toothpaste with, Mark. Then you'll see."

"That is by far the weirdest thing you've ever said to me, man," Mark said. "In fact, I'm going to pretend you did not just say that. So, does this mean you and Grey are getting married?"

"Not yet, no," Derek said. "We're taking it one step at a time, and I'm not sure she's ready for that step right now."

"She's ready to share your toothpaste, but she's not ready to wear your ring?" Mark asked. "Have you guys even talked about marriage?"

"Not really," Derek admitted. "I'm letting her lead, Mark. When she's ready to talk marriage, she'll let me know."

"Whose idea was it for her to move in?" Mark asked.

"I'm pretty sure it was hers," Derek said. "I made a joke about wanting her there every night, and she just sort of said, 'okay' and that was pretty much the entirety of the discussion. We're moving her things in on Saturday."

"So, what, when you're ready to get married, you're just going to make a joke about it and hope she says 'okay?'" Mark asked. "If you want the relationship to go in that direction, you've got to talk about it. And if you want to talk about it, you've got to bring it up."

"Mark, the longest relationship you've ever had was the affair you had with my ex-wife," Derek said. "I'm not sure you're really qualified to offer me relationship advice."

"Addie was not my longest relationship ever," Mark protested. "There was…no, maybe not…but then there was definitely…no, I guess that wasn't really a relationship either…I know, there was Samantha Thomas, freshman year of college. That was definitely a longer relationship."

"Mark, you didn't date Samantha Thomas," Derek said.

"If I didn't date her, why was she always hanging around the dorm, bringing over cookies, sending candy on Valentine's Day?" Mark asked. "We definitely had a relationship."

"Mark, your roommate was her fiancé," Derek pointed out.

"Right," Mark muttered. "So I guess that doesn't count, then?"

"Sorry, no," Derek said.

"Okay, well, what about the Brewer girls senior year of college?" Mark asked. "That was definitely a long relationship."

"The Brewers were identical twins, Mark," Derek said. "You cannot combine the length of time you spent with each twin."

"Damn," Mark sighed. "I guess I really haven't had very many relationships, huh?"

"I guess not," Derek said. "I'd suggest that you stop sleeping around and start looking for something more stable, but that might make me sound a bit too much like Mom."

"Probably would," Mark agreed. "Maybe when you and Grey get married, you can find a hot bridesmaid to hook me up with."

"Mark, you know all the women that Meredith would ask to be bridesmaids," Derek pointed out. "The only one not taken is Izzie."

"Stevens is kind of hot," Mark mused. "Feisty too. I like feisty."

"I am so not having this conversation with you," Derek laughed. "I have a feeling this one could get me in even more trouble than you talking about my sex life in front of the whole family."


	21. Something Good

**A/N: **So, this chapter really has two parts: the first takes place a week or so after the last chapter, and the second jumps forward another week to Christmas Eve. I'm really excited about some of the stuff in this chapter. It may not seem like much now, but some of it will tie into a storyline which I've been planning for quite some time and am completely in love with, which will really start developing a bit later on in the story (or perhaps in a new sequel all its own!).

* * *

"You know, I don't think coming home to you will ever get old," Derek commented as he walked into the living room to find Meredith sitting on the couch, papers scattered all around her. "So, what furniture did I buy today?"

"Derek, I don't buy furniture every day," Meredith said.

"You've been living here for five days, and I think you've ordered furniture for five rooms already," Derek laughed. "I guess I just got used to the pattern."

"Very funny," Meredith said. "Oh, a package came from your mother while you were at work. I put it on the table in the entryway."

"Mer, there's no table in the entryway," Derek said.

"You really don't pay much attention, do you?" Meredith asked. "It was delivered this morning, Derek. The entryway was the first room I ordered furniture for. Go take a look."

Derek shook his head and walked back down the hall to the entryway. "Hey, there is a table in here!" he called out when he got there.

"Told you," Meredith smiled as Derek walked back into the room carrying the small box his mother had sent. "Now open that package, I've been staring at it all day and I want to know what she sent you. She already sent all her Christmas gifts, so it can't be those."

"You're very impatient, you know that?" Derek teased as he pulled the tape off the box and pulled out its contents. "Well, I'm pretty sure this is for you."

"Your mother sent me a stocking?" Meredith asked, reaching out to take it from Derek's hands. "It's beautiful – do you think she made it herself?"

"I highly doubt it," Derek said. "My mother's knitting skills are about on par with yours, I'm afraid. My aunt Riona probably made this. She's knitted stockings for pretty much everyone in the family."

"Really?" Meredith asked. "That's a lot of stockings, Derek."

"She loves it," Derek said. "She knits pretty much anything you can think of – sweaters, scarves, mittens…and, as she reminds me every time I see her, baby blankets."

"Baby blankets?" Meredith asked. "Doesn't she have enough great-nieces and nephews? Why all the pressure?"

"Mer, you've seen how many kids my sisters have," Derek said. "In my family, especially in the eyes of my aunts and uncles, you aren't successful until you've got a gaggle of kids running around at your feet."

"A gaggle?" Meredith repeated. "Exactly how many children do they want you to have?"

"Five seems to be the average in my family," Derek said.

"How many kids do you want?" Meredith asked curiously.

"Two or three, maybe," Derek said, looking nervously for Meredith's reaction. "If the time is right, of course. Maybe more, if we're lucky and they're all just like you."

"Trust me, you don't want kids that are just like me," Meredith said. "We'd never live through the teenage years."

"Oh, come on," Derek laughed. "I'm sure underneath the pink hair and all the black clothing, you were really just a sweet kid."

"I was a holy terror," Meredith said. "I sent band geeks like you running for cover, Derek."

"Hey, I had a wild side," Derek protested. "I did get arrested once, remember? I'll bet you can't say that."

"You shouldn't gamble, Derek," Meredith said.

"Wait, you did get arrested as a teenager?" Derek asked. "What for?"

"Which time?" Meredith asked.

"It was more than once?" Derek asked.

"Four times," Meredith admitted.

"Um…all of them, I guess," Derek said warily.

"The first two were just minor truancy charges when my teachers got tired of me skipping class," Meredith said. "The third time was for shoplifting."

"And the fourth?" Derek asked.

"It was my sixteenth birthday," Meredith said, looking nervously at her hands, unable to bring herself to see Derek's reaction to what she was about to confess. "I crashed my car into a tree a few blocks from my house. I was convicted of driving under the influence. I was on probation until I turned eighteen and then my record was sealed."

"Meredith…" Derek muttered in shock.

"I know, I know, it was incredibly stupid of me," Meredith said. "And part of me would take it back if I could…but if we're being honest here, there's a bigger part of me that wouldn't do it any differently."

"You're kidding, right?" Derek asked. "Meredith, a DUI is a serious offense. Are you telling me that you don't regret it?"

"I didn't say that," Meredith said. "I do regret drinking that night, and I do regret getting behind the wheel of that car. But at the same time, I can't completely regret it, because I would never want to do anything that would change what happened right after I crashed that car…"

_Meredith looked up in fear as her mother walked through the door of the ER exam room, startling the young intern who was preparing to stitch up the gash on Meredith's forehead._

"_Get out," Ellis instructed the intern. "I'll finish her stitches."_

"_Yes, ma'am," the intern mumbled as he scurried out of her way, closing the door while Ellis made her way across the room to the exam table Meredith was sitting on._

"_Could we hold off on the yelling, Mom?" Meredith asked, already mentally detaching herself from the verbal lashing she was certain was on its way. "I've got a bit of a headache."_

_Ellis stood in front of Meredith, staring at her with a look in her eyes that Meredith had never seen before, and couldn't quite identify. Several times, she opened her mouth as if to say something to her daughter, but each time, she closed it before any sound could come out. Meredith couldn't help but think that if it were anyone other than her mother standing there, she'd be certain they were about to cry._

_Finally, Ellis sighed and, in a single motion so swift that it caught Meredith completely off guard, leaned forward and pulled her daughter into a hug. Although at first she tensed from the unfamiliarity of the situation, Meredith slowly found herself relaxing into her mother's embrace, finding it strangely comforting in spite of the fact that it was so completely out of character for Ellis._

"_I couldn't lose you, not that way," Ellis said, whispering so softly that, in spite of their close proximity, Meredith could barely make out her words. "I thought it was happening again…I can't go through that again."_

_Finally, after what seemed like both forever and not nearly long enough, Ellis pulled away, quickly wiping a tear from her eye as she turned her attention to Meredith's stitches._

"_You could have killed yourself, Meredith. You hit a tree, but you could have killed someone," Ellis said as she prepped the suture tray._

"_But I didn't," Meredith pointed out._

"_But you could have," Ellis said, a bit more forcefully this time. "You have no idea what it's like, Meredith. No idea what it feels like to lose someone because one person was stupid enough to think they could drink and drive."_

"_I'm sorry, Mom," Meredith said, wincing as Ellis began stitching up her cut._

"_You will never do this again," Ellis said, focusing on the tiny stitches she was administering. "You have so much as a sip of wine and you don't get behind the wheel, Meredith."_

"_I won't," Meredith said softly._

"_I'll call my lawyer in the morning and let her handle the police," Ellis said, standing up and pushing the suture tray back to the side of the room before moving toward the door and motioning for Meredith to follow her. "Let's go home, Meredith."_

"I know for a fact that she cancelled two surgeries to stay home with me that night," Meredith told Derek. "My mother never cancelled a surgery, not for anything, and especially not for me. When I went to court, the judge who heard my case had been a patient of my mother's a few years earlier. She pulled strings to get my record sealed when I turned eighteen. My mother didn't believe in calling in favors or using her influence to get things, but she did. In the aftermath of that crash, that's the only time in my entire life I've ever felt like my mother was there for me; it's the only time I ever felt like maybe she really did love me, even if she never said it."

"She did love you," Derek said, placing a reassuring hand on Meredith's arm. "She wouldn't have been that scared if she didn't love you."

"That's why I can't regret it, though," Meredith said. "I can't wish that the DUI never happened, because then none of it would have happened. That night was the only time she ever hugged me. _Ever_, Derek. In my entire life, my mother only hugged me once, and it was that night."

"Then I guess something good came of it after all," Derek said.

* * *

"Come on, Meredith, how long does it take to put on a dress?" Derek laughed as he sat on the edge of the bed a week later, waiting for Meredith to emerge from the walk-in closet.

"Okay, one, you are the one who built the freaking gigantic closet that I keep getting lost in," Meredith shouted back. "And two, you are the one who sprung this church thing on me at the last minute, Derek. How am I supposed to know what to wear to church? I think I've been to a church twice in the last decade, and both times were for weddings where all I had to do was put on a bridesmaid's dress."

"Meredith, no one's going to kick you out if you're wearing the wrong thing," Derek said. "Just put on a dress, or a pair of slacks and a shirt, or whatever you want. But hurry up, because we're going to be late."

"Why are we going to church anyway?" Meredith asked as finally emerged wearing a pair of black slacks and a light green turtleneck sweater. "Is this too casual?"

"That's perfect," Derek smiled. "And to answer the other question, we are going to church because it's Christmas Eve. Midnight Mass is one of those traditions I promised I'd introduce you to."

"Midnight? I thought you said the service was at nine?" Meredith asked as they headed down the stairs. "We're going to be very early if this thing doesn't start until midnight."

"They just call it Midnight Mass," Derek said. "It actually used to be at midnight when I was a kid, but I think the churches started noticing that people tend to fall asleep when you have a service at midnight, so they moved it up a few hours. There is an actual one at midnight, too, if you're a traditionalist, but I'm one of those guilty of falling asleep more years than not, so I prefer the earlier Mass."

"I don't want to sound stupid or anything," Meredith said slowly, as they settled into the car and Derek started the drive to the local church. "But what exactly does one do at church?"

"What do you mean?" Derek asked.

"What happens while we're there?" Meredith asked. "I just want to know what to expect."

"Oh, it'll be a lot like a regular service," Derek said. "Only a bit longer, with a lot more candles and better music."

"That's not terribly helpful," Meredith said. "What's a regular service like?"

"Have you never been to church?" Derek asked in surprise.

"One of these days, you're going to remember who raised me, Derek," Meredith said. "My mother was about as far from religious as you could get."

"And no one ever took you to a service?" Derek asked.

"Why would they?" Meredith asked. "Wait, you know, you're right, one of my foster families dragged me to church with them. I spent most of the service carving things into the back of the benches, though, so they didn't bring me back more than that one time."

"Pews," Derek corrected.

"Excuse me?" Meredith asked.

"Technically, they're not called benches, they're called pews," Derek said. "Is this going to make you uncomfortable, coming to Mass with me? I should have thought of it sooner, but we've never really talked about religion…I figured that you might not be Catholic, but it just never occurred to me that you wouldn't be, well, anything."

"I don't think it'll bother me," Meredith said. "I mean, I don't know how I feel about organized religion, seeing as I've never really been exposed to it. I definitely believe in a higher power, though. Is that a problem, that I'm not Catholic?"

"No, of course not," Derek assured her. "My mother's still pretty strict, but my sisters and I are more of what our parish priest used to call CEO members."

"CEO?" Meredith asked in confusion.

"Christmas and Easter Only," Derek said.

* * *

"So, was church totally and completely scary?" Derek asked as they walked back into their house later that night.

"No," Meredith admitted. "It was actually kind of nice. I'm not sure I want to make a habit of it, but I think I could handle that a few times a year."

"Good," Derek smiled. "Well, that's one Christmas tradition down. You ready for the next one?"

"It isn't even Christmas yet," Meredith pointed out.

"Christmas Eve is part of Christmas," Derek said. "Christmas is a whole season, Mer, not just one day."

"It is?" Meredith asked. "Alright, I believe you. What's next, boss?"

"Now we put out the cookies and milk for Santa," Derek said.

"You're kidding me, right?" Meredith laughed. "Santa, Derek? We're adults in our thirties, and you want to put out cookies for Santa Clause?"

"Hey, watch what you say," Derek said. "You might just end up with coal in your stocking if you're not careful."


	22. Make It Perfect

**A/N:** I don't know if it makes up for the delay at all, but this is probably the longest chapter I've ever written for a story. I still found myself cutting out quite a bit, because it was becoming a bit cumbersome - there were just so many Christmas moments I wanted to pack in here! I hope you enjoy it, and I am so sorry it took me so long to get it posted!

* * *

"Good morning," Meredith smiled as she walked into the kitchen on Christmas morning to find Derek already hard at work at the stove. "What smells so good?"

"Oh, that's me," Derek teased. "New cologne from Mom."

"Did someone tell you one time that you were funny and you've just sort of kept believing it ever since?" Meredith asked playfully.

"You wound me," Derek pouted. "It's Christmas morning, I got up early to make you a traditional Shepherd family Christmas breakfast, and here you are, making fun of me."

"You got up at six," Meredith pointed out. "You usually get up at four to go fishing, so really, you slept in two hours this morning…and there had better not be trout in whatever it is you're making."

"I thought you liked trout," Derek said.

"I do like trout," Meredith assured him. "It just doesn't seem like a Christmas food."

"Says the girl who didn't think that Santa would come eat the cookies we put out," Derek said.

"Derek, Santa…" Meredith began.

"Don't you dare say it, Meredith," Derek interrupted. "You want to eat and you won't say it. There will be no bah-humbug this Christmas, thank you very much."

"Well, what are we eating?" Meredith asked. "I mean, if it's not any good, then why bother?"

"Again with the insults," Derek laughed. "Everything I cook is good."

"That's not entirely true," Meredith said. "I seem to remember a particularly foul tuna noodle casserole a few weeks back."

"Once," Derek sighed. "I mess up a recipe once and I never live it down. You practically burn down your sister's kitchen and suddenly you're a culinary critic?"

"Just because I can't cook doesn't mean I don't know good food when I taste it," Meredith said. "And bad food, too."

"Well, there will be no bad food today," Derek said. "Of that you can be certain."

"So what are you making?" Meredith asked eagerly.

"Hash browns, scrambled eggs, bacon and bear claws," Derek said. "All served with fresh squeezed orange juice, of course."

"You made bear claws?" Meredith asked in awe.

"Well, not exactly," Derek admitted. "I bought them at the store yesterday. I did warm them up in the oven this morning, though, which is probably more than you could do without having to call the fire department."

"That's an awful lot of food, Derek," Meredith commented as she watched Derek dishing up their plates. "I hope you don't expect me to eat dinner later."

"Meredith, this is you we're talking about," Derek laughed as he set a plate in front of her and took his seat across the table. "You'll be hungry again in an hour."

"Good point," Meredith agreed. "So, do we just dig in or are we supposed to say grace or something?"

"Well, at home my mother would insist on saying grace," Derek said. "But I think in this case, since my mother isn't here, we can settle for clinking our glasses and just digging in."

"I like the sound of that," Meredith said, raising her glass. "Merry Christmas, Derek."

"Merry Christmas, Meredith," Derek said, smiling as his glass clinked against Meredith's.

* * *

"So, when do we open presents?" Meredith asked as she and Derek put the last of the breakfast dishes away. "Do we have to wait for everyone to get here tonight?"

"We don't have to, no," Derek said. "Actually, we should probably get most of the presents from my family out of the way before everyone comes over."

"Your family sent presents?" Meredith asked. "Why haven't I seen these presents?"

"Well, I had to have something impressive to put out overnight," Derek said. "Go take a look at the tree."

Meredith looked confused, but quickly obliged and hurried down the hall to the living room. As she walked into the room, she stopped and stared in awe at the dozens of presents that now sat under the tree.

"Where did they all come from?" Meredith asked softly.

"Christmas magic," Derek explained.

"No, seriously, Derek, who are they from?" Meredith asked.

"I have a lot of family, Mer," Derek said. "I'm afraid we didn't even hit the tip of the iceberg when you went home with me. You still haven't met any of my aunts and uncles, not to mention all my cousins."

"In that case, I really hope you put extra flashcards in my stocking," Meredith laughed.

* * *

"I think that does it," Derek sighed as he placed the last of his family's gifts in a pile and tossed the wrapping paper into a garbage bag. "I don't think we'll need to buy kitchen appliances or picture frames for another twenty years."

"What do they usually send you?" Meredith asked. "You know, so I know what to expect next year, when we don't have a new house for them to furnish."

"Sweaters," Derek said. "I usually get a lot of sweaters."

"Well then, we'll never be cold," Meredith said, pausing as she picked up a gift from the pile. "And we'll always be able to core mangoes."

"I don't know what Uncle Andy was thinking with that one," Derek said. "Where do you even buy a mango corer?"

"According to the tag, Williams Sonoma," Meredith laughed. "So, what now?"

"Well, I don't know that I can live up to the mango corer," Derek said, holding a small box out to Meredith. "But you could always open my present."

"The mango corer does set a very high standard," Meredith agreed mockingly as she accepted the gift. "And I want you to know, I did get you a present…well, two presents, actually…but you can't have either of them right now."

"That's not fair," Derek complained. "You've got your present. Why can't I have mine?"

"Because the first present isn't here yet," Meredith said. "Izzie and Alex are bringing it with them tonight. I didn't want to risk having you find it before today, and it's not exactly something that's easy to hide."

"And what about the second present?" Derek asked.

"Let's just say, it's more of a late night gift," Meredith said.

"Oh really?" Derek asked, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

"You'll just have to wait and see," Meredith smiled coyly. "Now, if you're done complaining, I'm going to open my present."

"Before you do, I just want you to know that I'm not trying to pressure you in any way with this present," Derek said nervously. "There's no timetable here – nothing's booked yet, so for now, it's just a promise. Whenever you're ready, you let me know and we'll start planning."

"Okay," Meredith said in confusion, turning her attention back to the package. Ripping off the paper, she opened the box to find it filled with travel brochures and a small ornament that was a perfect replica of the Eiffel Tower.

"Oh, Derek," she gasped as she pulled out the brochures. "Paris?"

"I heard a rumor that you'd never been," Derek said.

"Who told you that?" Meredith asked.

"I called Molly," Derek admitted. "I knew I wanted to give you a trip, but I wasn't sure where you'd want to go. I thought she might know…you do want to go, don't you?"

"You have no idea how much," Meredith grinned. "I don't know that I'll be ready for that long of a flight for a while, though, Derek."

"Like I said, no timetable," Derek assured her. "We can take it next month, next year, ten years from now…whenever you're ready. Summer vacation, honeymoon, Christmas getaway…whatever you want."

"Honeymoon?" Meredith asked in surprise. "Derek Shepherd, are you trying to propose?"

"Not right now," Derek smiled. "Trust me, when I propose, you won't have to ask if that's what I'm doing. There'll be a ring, a big romantic speech, I'll get down on one knee, the whole nine yards."

"You don't have to do all of that, you know," Meredith said. "I don't need the whole nine yards, whatever that is exactly."

"You may not need it," Derek said. "But you do deserve it."

"You really are a hopeless romantic," Meredith giggled as she leaned over and kissed him softly, her arms slipping around his neck. "And I love you for it."

* * *

"Meredith, can you get the door?" Derek called out from the kitchen that afternoon.

"What time is it?" Meredith asked as she came down the stairs.

"Right around two," Derek said.

"We did tell everyone to come at four, right?" Meredith asked, pausing as Derek nodded. "I wonder who it is, then."

"You could go open it and find out," Derek pointed out.

"You know what, you can just go back to your roast beef if you're going to be like that," Meredith teased as she headed out of the kitchen and into the front hall.

"Lexie?" she said in confusion as she pulled the front door open. "Is everything alright?"

"I know I'm really early," Lexie said, stepping into the entryway. "But I really need a sister right now, and Molly's still an hour away, and I am having a major freak out. Like, beyond major, Meredith."

"Well, I'm happy to help," Meredith said, smiling as Lexie rambled on. "Come on, let's go into the living room."

"I just don't know what I'm doing," Lexie said as she and Meredith settled in on the couch. "I think I'm losing my mind."

"What exactly are you freaking out about?" Meredith asked, still not quite understanding what her sister was talking about.

"This," Lexie said, holding up her left hand to reveal a platinum band with a small princess cut diamond.

"Oh my God," Meredith gasped. "What the hell is that?"

"Pierce's Christmas gift," Lexie said. "He did the whole one knee thing last night…and now I am completely freaking out. I mean, what the hell am I thinking?"

"Well, I'm assuming you said yes, since you're wearing the ring," Meredith said.

"What else was I supposed to say?" Lexie asked. "I mean, he caught me completely off guard…we were outside, and it was raining…he was completely drenched, but he looked so cute and hopeful when he asked…and he did go to a lot of trouble to try to surprise me, so it would have been rude to say no, right?"

"Please tell me you are not seriously considering getting married just so you don't appear rude," Meredith said. "Do you want to marry Pierce?"

"I don't want to marry anybody right now," Lexie said in frustration. "I love Pierce – probably more than I've ever loved anyone I've ever been with. But I'm only twenty-five, Meredith. I know people get married a lot younger than that; hell, Molly was what, nineteen? But I'm not Molly. I don't want to spend my life as a housewife, popping out babies and keeping the home fires burning."

"Lexie, no one expects you to do that," Meredith assured her. "Although you might not want to let Molly hear that description of her life, especially not with the pregnancy hormones she's got going on."

"Right," Lexie nodded. "And Pierce said he doesn't want to get married right away…I think I'm just overreacting, right? I mean, getting engaged is supposed to be a good thing."

"When it's the right guy, yeah, it is," Meredith said. "Do you think you ever want to get married?"

"Oh, it's not that I never want to," Lexie said. "I just don't want to get married right now…and when I do get married, I definitely want it to be Pierce."

"So what's wrong with being engaged for a few years?" Meredith asked. "Talk to Pierce, Lexie. I'm sure he won't mind…lots of couples have long engagements these days."

"True," Lexie agreed. "I just freaked out too soon, right? Didn't think the whole thing through?"

"I'm telling you, it's a genetic thing," Meredith said.

"So, I'm really engaged," Lexie announced, holding out her hand so that the diamond caught the light and sparkled brilliantly. "I actually found myself a guy who'll put up with me forever."

"Miracles do happen," Meredith teased as she and Lexie both burst out laughing.

* * *

"Hey, Shep, you planning on coming out of the kitchen any time this year?" Mark teased as he grabbed a beer from the refrigerator that afternoon. "Your guests are arriving and you're still all cooped up in this place."

"Mark, think about all the Christmases you've spent with my family," Derek said. "Now, do ever remember seeing Mom out of the kitchen before dinner was served?"

"You do realize you just made yourself the woman in that analogy, right?" Mark laughed.

"Yes, well, if we'd left the cooking up to Meredith, the fire department would be here by now," Derek said. "Or she'd have just given up and ordered pizza without even trying to turn on the oven. I'm not entirely sure she knows how to work the stove, actually."

"Oh come on, she can't be that bad," Mark said.

"Trust me, she is," Molly said as she joined the two men in the kitchen. "Not that I'm one to talk, seeing as it was my kitchen that we nearly burned down together the last time either of us really tried to cook."

"Merry Christmas, Molly," Derek laughed as he reached across the counter to give Molly a quick hug. "Where are Eric and Laura?"

"I think they got distracted by the Christmas tree," Molly said. "Laura seems to have developed a fascination with wrapping paper, so I apologize in advance if anything is a little worse for the wear by the time we open presents. She still can't really open anything on her own, but she can certainly make it look…well, unique."

"Hey, it's what's on the inside that I care about," Mark assured her.

"Which is a comment not often heard from you, Mark," Derek observed.

"Be nice, it's Christmas," Mark retorted. "There's still time for Santa to switch out those presents for some nice lumps of coal."

"I hate to interrupt, but I actually only came in because Meredith said she thought you guys might have the fixings for a peanut butter and honey sandwich in here?" Molly said hopefully.

"A sandwich?" Derek asked. "I'm making roast beef, Yorkshire pudding, creamed onions and homemade bread, not to mention the famous Shepherd family desserts I've got in the oven…and you want a sandwich?"

"Derek, I'm about seventy-five weeks pregnant," Molly said, motioning to her belly. "Trust me when I tell you that you do not want to argue with me on this one. My son would like a peanut butter and honey sandwich, and he doesn't really care what else you're making."

"Seriously, man, you've got four sisters," Mark said, not bothering to even try to contain his laughter. "Wasn't this covered in Shepherd family 101? Never argue with a pregnant woman, Derek."

"Fine," Derek grumbled, making his way to the pantry to grab Molly's sandwich ingredients. "I trust if I give you the ingredients, you can assemble it without killing my kitchen?"

"There's no cooking involved in making a sandwich," Molly laughed, taking the jar of honey and the knife out of Derek's hands.

"Hey Shepherd, you're needed in the living room," Alex said, sticking his head into the kitchen.

"Can it wait, Karev?" Derek asked.

"Not really," Alex said. "Meredith said she wants to give you your Christmas present now. Trust me, if you wait too long, Izzie might just keep it for herself. We only had it one night, and I swear she's in love."

"I'm coming," Derek sighed, turning off the stove and heading down the hallway. "So, what's the big present?"

"Close your eyes," Meredith instructed as Derek stood in the doorway of the living room with Izzie, Alex, Mark, Lexie, Molly, Eric and Laura looking on.

"They're closed," Derek said, wondering just what she could be planning. He heard a rustling behind him and soon felt Meredith brush past him as she returned to the room.

"Okay, open them," Meredith said.

As soon as he opened his eyes and took in the sight before him, Derek had to laugh just a little. Meredith was standing eagerly in front of him, a small brownish puppy squirming in her arms.

"You got me a puppy?" Derek asked.

"I figured you could take her with you when you go fishing," Meredith said. "She's supposed to be a very loyal breed, and the guy at the shelter said she needed a place with lots of land to run around on…do you like her?"

"She's perfect," Derek said, laughing again as he took the dog out of Meredith's arms and was immediately licked in the face by his new friend.

"She still needs a name," Izzie pointed out. "I've just been calling her dog ever since we picked her up yesterday."

Derek held the puppy at arms' length for a moment, staring at her for a moment before nodding and setting her down. "Daisy," he pronounced.

"Daisy?" Mark asked skeptically. "Come on, man, at least try not to sound like a woman."

"Says the man who used to own a pig named Miss Gloria?" Derek asked.

"Dude, that's kind of sad," Alex laughed from the other side of the room. "A pig?"

"Don't you insult Miss Gloria, Karev," Mark warned. "That was one hell of a pig, I'm telling you. Still can't bring myself to eat ham, either."

* * *

Derek couldn't help the smile that came across his face as he and Meredith carried the last of the food from the kitchen into the dining room, where their friends and family had gathered around the large dining room table Meredith had insisted they purchase for the room.

"Alright everyone, dig in!" Derek announced as he set the mashed potatoes on the table, laughing as almost everyone instantly leapt into action, grabbing the dish closest to them before swapping them around the table.

"Is it like it was at home?" Meredith asked as Derek slipped into the chair next to her.

"It is home, Mer," Derek smiled happily.

"Hey, McDreamy, watch it with the sappy comments," Cristina snapped from Derek's other side.

"Next year, I'm putting you at the kids' table, Yang," Derek retorted.

"You don't have a kids' table," Cristina replied. "There are only three kids here, and they can barely walk on their own, let alone eat a meal by themselves."

"I'll make a kids' table just for you," Derek teased.

"I am so not doing the holidays again," Cristina sighed. "Seriously, why couldn't we be in surgery right now?"

"Would it make you feel better if I told you that you could come back to Mercy West with me after dinner and watch from the galleries?" Rick asked.

"Seriously?" Cristina said. "Don't tempt me, Dalley, you can't just dangle something like that and then not follow through."

"Hey, I always follow through," Rick assured her. "My shift starts at nine, if you're coming. Right in time for the crazies to hit the road and create surgical messes for me to fix."

"Now there's a Christmas present to get excited about," Cristina agreed in satisfaction.

* * *

"So, what did you think of your first Christmas?" Derek asked as he and Meredith settled into bed later that night.

"It was almost perfect," Meredith said, smiling slightly at the look of confusion on Derek's face.

"Only almost?" he asked. "Why only almost?"

"There was just something missing," Meredith said, turning to face Derek.

"Well, the day isn't over yet," Derek pointed out as he slipped closer to Meredith.

"Oh isn't it?" Meredith asked coyly, reaching up to run her fingers through Derek's hair before settling her hands on his shoulders.

"Nope," Derek said, leaning over to kiss her, gently at first, but with increasing intensity as the moment wore on.

Meredith moaned slightly as Derek shifted next to her and began trailing gentle kisses down her jawbone and onto her neck, leaning her head backwards as he moved to allow him better access.

"Are you sure?" Derek asked as he pulled back to catch his breath.

"I'm sure," Meredith whispered, reaching out and pulling Derek back on top of her. "Let's make it perfect, Derek."


	23. Epilogue

**A/N:** Don't throw things at me...please. I know I've taken forever to update, and I know that didn't warn you all that the story was nearing its end, but I swear, it caught me just as off guard as it does all of you, I'm sure. There's a longer note at the end of this chapter, so please, read the epilogue and the endnote before you throw things, alright?

* * *

Meredith shifted nervously in the cold, plastic seat, trying to steady her breathing as she gripped the armrests until her knuckles were white.

"Final boarding call, Flight 722 to New York/JFK," a female voice rang out on the loudspeaker. "All ticketed passengers, please proceed to gate 17 for immediate boarding."

"Mer?" Derek said, gently placing a hand on her forearm, causing her to glance over at him, the panic written all over her face. "Mer, if we're going to do this, we need to go now."

"I…I don't know…" Meredith stammered. "I don't know if I can, Derek."

"It's okay if you're not ready," Derek said reassuringly. "We can rent a car, drive out if you want…we don't even have to go if you don't want to."

"No, we have to," Meredith insisted. "You've done this before, so maybe it's not important to you, but I've never had a godchild before. I have to be there for the baptism."

"Okay," Derek nodded.

"Besides," Meredith continued. "Do you know how pissed Nancy would be if we didn't show up?"

"Well, that means you have to get on the plane, Mer," Derek said. "And I don't want to rush you, but they're going to close the gate any minute now."

"Okay," Meredith nodded, squeezing Derek's hand as she slowly stood up. "Okay, let's go."

* * *

"How much longer do we have?" Meredith asked, her hands shaking as she shifted in her first class seat.

"We just took off, Mer," Derek said. "That sleeping pill Dr. Harper prescribed should be kicking in soon."

"Not soon enough," Meredith sighed. "Distract me."

"How do you want me to do that?" Derek asked.

"I don't know," Meredith said. "Tell me something."

"Okay, um, let's see…" Derek muttered, wracking his brain for something they could talk about. "Well, I heard a rumor that Richard is looking to hire externally for the new chief resident."

"It isn't like he really has a choice," Meredith pointed out.

"What do you mean?" Derek asked. "We've got some pretty good rising fifth years in the program this year."

"Richard doesn't want 'pretty good', Derek," Meredith said. "He wants excellent, and he needs someone who can be a leader. I'm sorry, but there's no one like that in the group of rising fifth years. Hiring externally isn't all that uncommon, you know that."

"I suppose," Derek said. "It would be nice if we had an idea of who he was thinking of recruiting, though."

Meredith opened her eyes long enough to glance over at him and arch an eyebrow in surprise. "Are you sure we work at the same hospital?" she asked skeptically.

"I take it I missed the important part of the rumor, then?" Derek asked in amusement. "I thought I was doing so well, too. What did I miss?"

"Rick Dalley signed his contract yesterday," Meredith said. "They haven't made the announcement yet, but he's going to be the chief resident next year."

"Rick, huh?" Derek asked. "Cristina must be thrilled."

"The only thing that thrills Cristina is surgery," Meredith said. "But yes, she's as happy as she knows how to be. He was a shoo-in for chief resident over at Mercy West, and I think she was starting to worry that if he didn't get the job at Grace, he was going to ask her to move over there. The commute's too far for them to keep working at separate hospitals now that they're going to be living together."

"Would she have done it?" Derek asked.

"I have no idea," Meredith admitted. "Two weeks ago, I would have said no. But then again, two weeks ago, I thought hell would freeze over before Cristina even thought about getting married…"

"_Grey, get your ass out of bed!"_

_Meredith groaned as she rolled over and squinted in the morning light to find Cristina standing in the doorway of the bedroom._

"_I thought we left her behind when you moved in," Derek sighed, tossing an arm over Meredith to prevent Cristina from pulling her out of bed._

_Meredith laughed slightly and playfully smacked Derek on the arm. "What are you doing here, Cristina?" she asked._

"_Getting your lazy ass out of bed, that's what," Cristina said. "Now hurry up and get dressed. We've got places to go, people to see, all that crap."_

"_It's too early," Meredith whined, covering her head with a pillow and sinking back into the bed._

"_Seriously, you've been back at work almost six months," Cristina said. "You'd think you'd be used to functioning on no sleep again. You're getting soft, Grey, it's already eleven in the morning."_

"_No, seriously, Cristina, go away," Meredith repeated. "Derek and I didn't even leave the hospital until six in the morning."_

"_No," Cristina said, walking over and ripping the comforter off of Derek and Meredith's bed while Derek silently thanked his lucky stars that he'd put boxers on before falling asleep. "I'm serious, Grey, ass out of bed. Now!"_

"_It's our day off," Derek said, still a bit thrown by Cristina's presence in their bedroom._

"_Yeah, well, Meredith's got plans," Cristina said. "And if you don't step on it, we're going to be late."_

"_Where are we going?" Derek asked._

"_Not you, McDreamy," Cristina shook her head, her distaste at the idea of Derek accompanying them obvious. "Just Meredith. And I'm not leaving without her, so don't even think about trying any funny business to get her out of this."_

_

* * *

An hour later, having finally dragged a reluctant Meredith out of her bed and convinced her to get dressed, Cristina was eerily silent as she maneuvered her car through the streets of Seattle, Meredith impatiently tapping her fingers on the armrest in the front passenger's seat._

"_Are you ever going to tell me where we're going?" Meredith asked._

"_No," Cristina said simply._

"_You know, I'm pretty sure that in some states this could be considered kidnapping," Meredith pouted._

"_You got in the car of your own free will, so stop your whining," Cristina said. "Trust me, you'd have been pissed if I hadn't invited you today."_

"_Why? What's going on?" Meredith asked. "Is this about some cool surgery? Because as much as I do love those, there is more to life than surgery, Cristina."_

"_Okay, first of all, stop it with that blasphemy, Mer," Cristina said. "And second, no, this is not about a surgery. In fact, it has nothing to do with work. It's personal."_

"_So tell me what it is," Meredith insisted._

"_You wouldn't believe me if I did," Cristina said, smirking slightly as she glanced over at the look of confusion on Meredith's face._

"_Try me," Meredith retorted._

"_We're going to meet Rick and his brother at City Hall so that I can get married and live happily ever after," Cristina said, smirking as she did so. "Happy now?"_

"_That's really very unnecessary, you know," Meredith said. "If you don't want to tell me, fine. No need to go making up stories."_

_Cristina just shook her head and continued driving. Another few minutes passed before she turned the car into a nearby parking lot. Turning to face Meredith, she couldn't hold back a smile as she saw the disbelief on Meredith's face._

"_Cristina, we're at City Hall," Meredith gasped, turning to face her friend. "Oh my God, you weren't joking, were you? You're really getting married?"_

"_Well, I'm still not sure about the happily ever after part," Cristina said. "But I figured I might as well give the married thing a shot."_

"_You're serious?" Meredith asked. "You and Rick are getting married? Now?"_

"_We filed for the license last week," Cristina said. "Now hurry up, we're going to be late."_

"_It's not as though they can start without you," Meredith pointed out. "I want details before we do this, Cristina. When did he propose? Did he give you a ring? Why the hell didn't you say anything earlier?"_

"_It's not a big deal," Cristina insisted. "It's just a piece of paper with our names on it and now if he dies, I get all his stuff. That's it. I didn't want anyone fussing over it."_

"_It is a big deal, Cristina," Meredith countered. "It's a huge freaking deal."_

"_If you're trying to freak me out, it's not going to work," Cristina said. "This whole thing was my idea this time around."_

"_What do you mean?" Meredith asked._

"_Rick didn't propose," Cristina said. "I did."_

"_Seriously?" Meredith asked in shock. "I mean…seriously?"_

"_Yeah, seriously," Cristina said. "Rick's great like that, he's a go-with-flow guy. I control the flow, and he just goes with it. It's just how we work."_

"_Okay, don't interpret this as me making any comment on your decision, because I'm happy if you're happy, and I think Rick's a great guy," Meredith said. "But are you sure about this, Cristina?"_

"_I am," Cristina said sincerely. "I know what happened with Burke sucked, but I really think this one's different. Before, with Burke, it was all about him – no one even bothered to ask me if it was what I wanted. Everything was about what he needed from the relationship, when he needed it. With Rick, he asks…he just sort of gets me, you know? And I'm going to stop now, because I'm starting to sound like a sappy little girl. Can we please just go get me married?"_

"_Let's go," Meredith said, smiling as she followed Cristina into City Hall._

"Alright, well, since you seem to be the hospital know-it-all, you tell me something," Derek suggested.

"I don't know what it is you don't know," Meredith said. "I mean, I assume you know about George and Callie?"

"About the baby?" Derek asked. "Yeah, I heard that she was pregnant. How far along is she?"

"Eight weeks," Meredith said, yawning slightly as she shifted so that her head was resting on Derek's shoulder. "I think she and George were starting to worry that something was wrong – they've been trying since Christmas with no luck."

"Well, sometimes these things take a while," Derek said.

"Yeah," Meredith muttered, her eyelids slowly beginning to close.

"Mer?" Derek asked softly, smiling when he didn't get a response. Kissing her forehead gently, he spread the thin airplane blanket over them and settled back in his seat for the rest of the flight.

* * *

"Meredith," Derek whispered, nudging her gently. "Mer, we're here, you need to wake up."

"Mmm…" Meredith muttered, slowly stretching her arms out as she sat up. "Did I sleep through the whole thing?"

"Yup," Derek confirmed. "We're in New York now."

"Good," Meredith nodded. "I guess that could have been a lot worse, right?"

"You did great, Mer," Derek assured her. "I mean it, really great."

"Well then, maybe it's time we start talking about that Christmas gift you promised me," Meredith said, smiling slightly as Derek grabbed their carry-on bag from the overhead compartment.

"Paris?" Derek asked.

"Maybe in the spring," Meredith said. "I hear it's beautiful in the springtime."

"We could do that," Derek agreed. "But first we need to get off of this airplane. Do you need a hand getting up?"

"Yeah," Meredith nodded reluctantly. "I think that was a bit too long to be sitting in one position, even if it was first class."

Derek slipped an arm around her waist, slowly easing her to her feet and allowing her to lean heavily on him as she took her first few shaky steps.

"I think I've got it," Meredith assured him as they made their way down the ramp and into the terminal.

"Okay," Derek said, carefully releasing his grip on her, having long ago quickly learned that when Meredith wanted to do something on her own, it was best for him to just step back and not argue the point.

As they slowly worked their way through the mass of travelers and into the baggage claim area, Derek's eyes scanned the crowd anxiously.

"Do you see anyone yet?" Meredith asked as they stepped onto the escalator.

"Not yet," Derek said. "I'm sure they're here somewhere, though."

"There," Meredith declared, pointing across the room.

Following her finger, Derek smiled as his gaze came to rest on his two younger sisters standing near one of the baggage carousels. As soon as Abby saw them, she nudged Beth and the two of them began eagerly waving as Derek and Meredith made their way through the crowd to meet them.

"Oh my God, it's about time!" Beth exclaimed as she hugged Derek and Abby embraced Meredith. "We've missed you guys."

"Well, we missed you too," Derek assured her as his sisters traded places, Beth now hugging Meredith and Abby hugging Derek. "How's Nancy doing?"

"I think she forgot how much work a newborn is," Abby laughed. "But I have to tell you, that little girl is quite possibly the cutest baby the Shepherds have ever produced – and I say that as someone who's produced my fair share of really cute kids."

"She's right," Beth said. "I don't know what it is, but that baby is downright gorgeous. I think Nick's already adding deadbolts to all the doors to keep the boys out when she gets older. She's already got both of her brothers wrapped around her little finger."

"What did you expect?" Derek asked. "All my godchildren are perfect."

"Good Lord, could your ego be any bigger?" Abby laughed.

"Don't tempt him," Meredith said. "Every time I think he can't get any worse, he does. I think he does it just to spite me, too."

"Derek, really," Beth scolded. "A little humility never hurt anyone."

"We've been here all of five minutes and you're all already ganging up on me?" Derek protested. "This is definitely not fair."

* * *

"Mom!" Derek called out as he and Meredith walked into the kitchen. Spinning around from her place at the stove, Maggie broke out in a large grin when she saw her son standing in the doorway.

"Derek," she said happily, hurrying over to pull him into a hug. "You look good, Derek. You look happy."

"I am happy, Mom," Derek said, smiling as she pulled away from him.

"Of course you are," Maggie nodded, turning to Meredith. "I guess I have you to thank for that, don't I? It's good to see you, Meredith."

"You too, Maggie," Meredith said as the older woman pulled her into a hug.

"I thought I heard voices in here," Nancy said, walking into the room with her month-old daughter cradled in her arms. "It's about time the two of you got here. Samantha was starting to worry her godparents had stood her up."

"Hey, you know me better than that," Derek said, smiling as he hugged his sister. "She's gorgeous, Nance…can I hold her?"

"Don't drop her," Nancy instructed as she handed the baby to Derek. "She's the only girl I've got, and I don't want her to be brain damaged because my idiot brother dropped her."

"I'm insulted," Derek said. "I will have you know that I am very good with babies."

"Sure," Nancy scoffed, turning to give Meredith a quick hug. "I don't know why you put up with him, Meredith."

"He cooks," Meredith said, shrugging her shoulders as Derek pretended to look deeply hurt. "I definitely do not cook, so I might starve if I let him go."

* * *

"The boys are really good with her," Meredith observed as she and Nancy sat off to the side of the room, watching Karl and Brian taking turns holding and playing with their baby sister.

"They are, aren't they?" Nancy agreed. "Sometimes, I can't believe that I actually have teenagers who are willing to change diapers, do laundry, feed her…I can't get them to clean their rooms, but they'll get up at three in the morning just to sit with her."

"And what about Nick?" Meredith asked.

"Nick is…well, Nick is good," Nancy said, smiling slightly. "We still have our issues, so things aren't perfect, but we're trying, and I think we're making progress. We're not going to be leaving our therapy sessions behind any time soon, but I suppose there are worse things in life than being in therapy."

"I can think of a few, yeah," Meredith agreed.

"Our therapist is a little crazy, though," Nancy said.

"Mine is too," Meredith said. "I think it might just be the nature of the job. Spend enough time around crazy people and maybe it starts to rub off on you a bit?"

"Sure explains a lot about Kathleen," Nancy said, joining Meredith as they both laughed. "And what about you and Derek?"

"What about us?" Meredith asked.

"You've been living together for what? Seven, eight months now?" Nancy asked. "Any wedding bells in your future?"

"I'm just waiting for him to ask," Meredith said. "I made sure he knew I was ready, so now it's up to him."

"How long have you been waiting?" Nancy asked.

"Three or four months," Meredith admitted. "I'm starting to wonder if maybe I wasn't clear enough about how ready I am. I think he's a little afraid of going to fast, but it's been a full year since we got back together and I am definitely ready for the next step."

"You want to marry him?" Nancy asked.

"Yeah, I do," Meredith said.

"Well, if you're interested, I know a very simple way to urge him along," Nancy said coyly.

"Oh?" Meredith asked curiously.

"You want me to give it a try?" Nancy asked.

"I guess," Meredith said cautiously.

"Hey Derek!" Nancy called out to her brother.

"Yes, Nancy?" Derek asked, turning from his conversation with his young nephew, Connor, to face Nancy.

"When are you gonna man up and put a ring on your girlfriend's finger?" Nancy asked bluntly.

Meredith blushed furiously as she glared at Nancy, who simply shrugged innocently. Turning her head, Meredith was surprised to see Derek stand up and walk over to where she was sitting.

"Right now, if she'll let me," Derek announced, instantly silencing the room as he pulled a ring box from his pocket and dropped to one knee in front of Meredith.

"Okay, so this isn't exactly how I had planned to do this," Derek admitted nervously. "But we've always been pretty good at spontaneous, so why not? Meredith, you've been it for me from the moment I first laid eyes on you three years ago. You are my soul mate, my better half, the love of my life…and probably a million other clichés, too. I don't ever want to imagine a future that doesn't include you by my side. We've been through hell and back, and I'd like to think we're a stronger couple because of it. I know things won't always be perfect, but I love you and I cannot think of anything that would make me happier than if you would agree to marry me."

Meredith felt the tears forming in her eyes as Derek opened the box to reveal an elegant, mid-sized princess cut diamond in a simple platinum setting.

"This is the part where you say something, Mer," Derek said nervously.

"I would," Meredith said, a mischievous smile growing on her face. "But you haven't actually asked me anything yet, Derek."

"Right," Derek muttered. "Meredith Grey, will you make me the happiest man in the world and be my wife?"

"Yes," Meredith said, tears glistening in her eyes as Derek slipped the simple diamond onto her finger. "Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes, Derek."

"Uncle Derek, you have to kiss her now!" Connor informed him, much to the amusement of the adults in the room.

"I do?" Derek asked in mock surprise.

"Uh huh," Connor nodded seriously. "You gotta kiss her or it's not real!"

"Well, I certainly want it to be real," Derek said, turning back to Meredith with a grin on his face. "Apparently, I have to kiss you or this isn't real."

"We wouldn't want to disappoint your nephew, now would we?" Meredith smiled, wrapping her arms around Derek's neck as he bent his head down and captured her lips with his, both of them ignoring the cheers and whistles from his family.

"You just had to find a way to make me cry, didn't you?" Meredith asked as they finally pulled apart, their foreheads resting together as Derek's hands cupped her face and his thumbs brushed her tears away.

"You know me," Derek shrugged.

"I love you," Meredith whispered.

"I love you too," Derek whispered back, kissing her gently.

Meredith couldn't help but laugh when, just a moment later, they found themselves pulled apart as his sisters descended upon them, shouting their congratulations as they jostled for time with the happy couple.

"Welcome to the chaos," Abby commented as she pushed forward and pulled Meredith into a hug. "How does it feel to almost be a Shepherd?"

"It feels good," Meredith said, her eyes locking with Derek's as he embraced his mother. "It feels like home."

* * *

**A/N:** So there it is. We've come a long way in the past twenty-three chapters, and again, I want to apologize for not giving you more warning that the story was about to end. I hope it doesn't seem too abrupt. I had planned to write another 4-5 chapters before posting the epilogue, but as I tried to write them, they all felt like they weren't accomplishing anything. After many nights of frustrated attempts to write, I took a step back and reread the story in its entirety, and that's when it hit me - the previous chapter was a natural end and by not stopping there, I was pushing the story past where it wanted to go. So, after giving it a lot of thought, I decided to post the epilogue now and tie up the rest of the loose ends in the upcoming sequel.

Yes, as I believe I may have mentioned to some of you in PMs, there will be another sequel. I'm actually very excited about the material that will be covered in that story, as I think it is going to be an incredible journey of discovery and acceptance for Meredith. I already have a good deal of material written for it, so give me a few weeks to make the first few chapters a bit more cohesive, and I should be able to start posting before the end of the year. So far, I'm working with a title of "Chasing A Ghost," but that is subject to change as the story develops.

Thank you to everyone who has come along for the journey that this story has been - I hope I didn't disappoint, and I hope you'll come back again when the sequel gets off the ground! In the meantime, please take a moment to leave one last review and let me know your feedback - good, bad or indifferent, I want to know what you think!


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